Dearest Little Button,
Ten weeks ago I stood amazed at the sight of two faint pink lines…ones I’ve seen before, and ones that–this time around, held so much more than excitement and gratitude within them. I crawled back into bed to share the confirmation with your dad. I cried. I laughed with relief. And then I cried some more.
Someday when you’re older I’ll explain all of this, and why the weight of those two lines felt far more significant than I could have even imagined a year ago. This time, as a new life–your life, formed in my belly, everything seemed to hang in the balance. We were thrilled, of course, but afraid, in a way, to surrender ourselves simply to hope and joy. We had been praying for you for a long time. Was God really blessing us again with life? Would everything be ok? Would I find myself, somewhere in this process, at a place where I felt like I could breathe?
The answer, sweet child–to all of my questions above, has been a resounding yes. And while I do not take a moment of your precious life for granted, I want you to know that as sure as I am writing this, I believe God has ordained you for our family. For such a time as this. To be another blessing…Henry’s sibling…sheer and utter joy for all of our hearts!
Today I am fourteen weeks pregnant with you, welcoming the second trimester and the chance to share our delight in you with the world. Two weeks ago we watched you flip and flop and dance all over my belly, and again I laughed and cried with relief and absolute joy at the sight. You, at twelve weeks, were already perfectly formed as God intended you. Just shy of two inches long and yet, with fingers and toes, arms, legs, a sweet little nose–all intact and visible to our little family on that beautiful screen. You are a miracle to me. To us.
Your brother is, although so young, enamored with the idea of you. He talks about the “little tiny baby!” in mommy’s tummy with the sweetest joy. He measures his tiny fingers to the size of you, and I tell him every week how much you’ve grown. At night, he says goodnight to you, kisses my belly, leans his head on me in such a gentle way. He prays for you daily, as we all do in the little blue house.
I have been feeling little (and reassuring) twitches of you here and there all week…you’re so small, but your presence is already quite abundant in the day to day. We talk of baby prep and nursery #2 and mostly just how grateful we feel to watch my belly grow–you developing in a beautiful way and filling me up more perfectly than anyone but God could accomplish. You are fearfully and wonderfully made, little one!
I want you to know, forever and ever, that you are right where you should be…in our family, coming into the world, in this timing. It is clear to me already that God has big plans for your footprint here, and we are so taken by the chance to wait and see what He will do with your life. Keep on growing as you are, sweet one, and we’ll be here, prepping to meet you with all the love we can possibly fathom when the day arrives!
honored to be your mama. humbled by the privilege,