Today was packed full–in both good ways and challenging ones. At the end of it, I’m left feeling grateful, tired, and a little on overload. I grabbed my phone, computer, and work bag as I headed out the door this morning, and I can’t say I’ve been device free for more than an hour or so since. I don’t really consider this a good thing. I’m way more geared toward relationships and conversation, toward things written down or read on paper. But life has changed its mode over the past few years, and some days are just full up with electronic connections to the max. The trouble with this (for me), is that if I’m not careful, everything starts to run together. The input is just a little too much.
At work, my phone rang and buzzed all day–calls, texts, emails. Nothing totally out of the norm, but when I’m sitting at a desk with my computer in front of me and my phone right nearby, even the input of the screen lighting up over and over can be enough to distract. And when I’m working, I’m not really addressing personal things, so phone calls and emails that pop up get tabled for later…when they’ve stacked into a pile from the past number of hours and I’m not quite sure where to begin. Lately, I’ve started with a heavy hand on the delete button. My inbox has somehow become a receptacle for so much that’s impersonal and doesn’t require a response. Somewhere along the line, I signed up for a coupon or a contest or a subscription to a cause, and now it’s “15% Off Today Only” and “Don’t Miss Our Summer Clearance” and “Act Now. _____ Needs Your Help” and the like. I’m unsubscribing left and right as of late–not trying to be callous, but hoping to clear out some of the unnecessary and daunting clutter.
Of course then there’s Facebook and Instagram and Pinterest and such, and I wonder what life would be like to go back to days without so many ways to connect. In my mind, they’re all a two sided coin–a blessing and a curse to those of us who love to be in the know, stay up to date, share fun moments, document great life experiences. There’s nothing bad with any of this, really, but perhaps it’s just too much at once sometimes. At least it is for me.
So tonight as I wind down from the day–work, a little time with Henry, an outing with a great bunch of girls tonight, I’m trying to separate myself from the chaos of input that flew at me through the screen all day long. Tomorrow will come, and I’ll still owe a few replies to friends here and there that require attention. But the pressing matters will likely be less pressing, I’ll have greater clarity after clearing out the junk, and hopefully, I’ll find less time for my phone and computer, and more time for just enjoying the contents of the day. I missed H today, and want to remedy our day at a distance with one that’s better connected–would rather squeeze him in person than admire his little picture on my phone every time I pick it up.
Not any major revelations here tonight, certainly. And maybe I’m the only one who feels this way about the presence of technology in my daily life at the moment. But it’s where I’m at tonight as I wind down the day and attempt to wind down my brain. Naturally, it’s going in 100 different directions because that’s how the day has been. It’s time for some grounding tomorrow. A little extra time at home, some QT with the munchkin, a chance to give this baby-carrying body a rest in the middle of the day. My pace should be slowing a little at this point, it seems. And I can feel that change beginning to assert itself as we gear up for baby. Funny how life can do that…all of this ramping up for something, when really you need to be slowing down. As always, I’ll be here working to achieve a balance. Not my strongest quality every time, but one I’m going to keep working to perfect as the days go by.
always moving forward. and sometimes trying to throttle back. glad for a fresh start in the morning!