It’s a quiet afternoon here where I sit, and I am so thankful for the space. It’s hard to believe that December is coming to a close, but beautiful that a whole new year stretches out before us when the clock strikes midnight tonight. I am ready to turn the page on 2015.
I’ve learned a lot this year, and I’ve been stretched in the exercise of inviting a graceful December into my life. I hope the same is true for you as you’ve joined me in welcoming the good, the hard, the magical, the bittersweet. Every year contains these things, but some more so than others. In my little corner of the universe, 2015 had greater measures of hard and bittersweet. But there were amazingly sacred, heart-swelling moments, too, and I don’t want to forget them for all they’ve offered. I will close this year and this chapter feeling challenged, pursued, and full.
I’m still trying to flesh out a word for 2016 that feels not-too-big, not-too-small, but juuuuust right for the days to come. I laugh a little remembering last year at this time…so many questions pouring through my mind then, and almost entirely different ones than the thoughts that fill my head now.
I am grateful for the grace that sees me through all of my questions.
Earlier this week, Henry was asking for something in the car. I was working to get it for him, but as I tried, he asked me again, and again. In a moment of frustration, I raised my voice at him, “Henry! I am not Google, OK?! Not everything is right away. You can’t have everything in an instant. That’s not how things work.”
Even though I know this to be true, and I’m learning over and over to be patient in new ways, life in a high speed world makes it easy to think we should have what we want, when we want it. And we want it all right now. But the world is not at our beckon call, and even if it were, everything in an instant might not be what God has for us, for good reason.
If I’m taking any wisdom from these past twelve months into the new year, this might be the nugget I’ll cling to the most:
The best things in life aren’t instant. But the waiting makes them sweeter in the end.
We don’t really have to depend on anyone or anything when life is handing us everything we want at every turn. I actually think this can be a very dangerous place to exist.
This past year has put me on my knees more times than I can count. And I’m grateful. Heading into the new year, I’m without expectation for guarantees.
The one thing I’m banking on is that God will carry me or hold my hand or give me wings–whatever He deems appropriate for each and every circumstance. It’s a good place for my heart to be, no matter whether it’s wondering, hoping or aching.
The quiet from earlier lasted just a short while, and this blog post has become my next exercise in living out the practice of patience in big and little things. I suppose God is honing my spirit even through this… everything is an opportunity for grace to sweep in, and it’s all shaping the next, unknown part of my story. No doubt surprise and delight and growing await, whatever the year ahead might hold.
Here’s to 2016, my sweet friends. May our stories brim and bubble over with grace and graceful living!
Love to you, and Happy New Year!