For several months now, you’ve thanked God for making you a big sister every single time you’ve prayed. You’ve thanked Him for “Mommy’s baby in her tummy” each time, too.
Since before you were born, I’ve spoken the saying, “Though she be but little, she is fierce,” over you. Those words repeated in my mind while I was pregnant, and they’re part of why I was so sure you were a girl long before I ever laid eyes on you. We named you Eloise, not only because we love the name, but because it means “famous warrior.” I prayed and prayed as you were growing inside that you would be born a fierce, strong, warrior of a girl, and God answered.
You are not yet three, but you pray with focus and intention, and I know that God hears those prayers. Every time you cover your baby brother or sister by asking for God’s blessing, I breathe a little more deeply, thinking about how your childlike faith and beautiful petitions matter to the One who created you, and the One who is weaving our baby’s life together now. God formed you and He knew you, and I believe He was even so gracious as to give me insight into who you were going to be in our lives. Here and now, you are a warrior in your own right, and it fills me with gratitude that God has heard our prayers for you, both then and today.
Your big sisterhood is going to come to fruition before long, and I can’t wait to see how you care for our littlest babe. You are a doting mommy to your own babies, playing house and nurturing the little ones around you at all times. I know that this upcoming transition might be hard for you here and there, but I am trusting that you’ll weather the change with the same resilience you demonstrate in everything else in life. You are still so little, but you are most definitely fierce.
When I say fierce, sweet one, I mean it in the best way possible. You are not mean. You are not intense in a bad way. You do know what you want and you articulate it with gusto. You hold your own with your brother and older kids, and you pick yourself up without skipping a beat when life attempts to knock you down. You are brave. Smart. Musical. Happy. You are go-with-the-flow 95% of the time, always finding the good in any opportunity to get out and be in the world.
You are still mommy’s girl through and through, and I can’t say I mind it. You love your boys with fervor, too, but there is still a connection between us that hasn’t changed since your up-all-night, attached to mama days. Deep down, I love that. I think you’ll make an even better big sister for the ways you acknowledge connection and proximity. You make a point to stop and love the people around you, and you also speak up for yourself when you need your space. Baby will appreciate that about you!
I’m sorry that this season has meant far fewer snuggle times and my inability to pick you up and hold you for lengths of time. I miss that chance, and hope you’ll preserve your snuggly self for the days when my lap has returned to a lap and my belly isn’t in the way of me carrying you on my hip for more than a minute. Even without the baby here, you already seem so big and grown up to me. Please save some of this stage for after baby is born so we can still cuddle up just you and me.
You are a kind and aware soul, sweet girl. You are thoughtful and loving, creative and worshipful. You add a dynamic to our family that fits exactly as it should. I’m so fortunate and proud to be your mama, and I can’t wait to watch you grow into your new role as baby’s big sister. He or she is going to be so lucky to fall under your watchful eye and doting care.
I delight in you, Ella Bella Bee. We all do!
love always and always,