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let them eat cake.

15 May

Just rifling through the 1,000 photos we’ve gathered from H’s birthday bash and I came across this one. I hadn’t noticed it til now, but I love everything about it. The babe, the cake, the babe covered in cake. His sweet little hands smooshing extra bits of sugary goodness all over his face. The hand of a little friend, reaching in for a taste:

This is what 1st birthday parties are made of. Well, this and a whole bunch of other stuff. Stuff forthcoming…

so glad i wasn’t in charge of the bath that day (thanks, mom!),

mm

one!!!

25 Apr

Well, Hanker Tanker, it is finally here. Your big day arrived this morning with the sunshine and a sleepy little you peeking up at us from your crib. You are officially one, and with that, no longer creeping towards the monumental day we’ve all made it out to be. Do you feel any differently today than yesterday? I kind of hope that you feel exactly the same–simply well-loved and cozy and safe and adored.

I do hope that you felt celebrated today, even though the big event in honor of this milestone won’t be here for a few more days. Then, I’ll be so tickled to watch as you take delight in all of the kiddos running around the house, the decorations here and there, the sugary sweet cake set before you for all kinds of smashing and eating up. I know you’re not going to remember it later, but we will all be celebrating YOU. Beyond that, we’ll be honoring a most remarkable year–the way that you’ve changed all of our hearts and how it’s truly taken a village to raise you since day one. Sure, dad and I have done a lot of the heavy lifting ;), but the people who are coming (traveling, even) to see you on Saturday have all been a hugely important part of your life and who you’re becoming. We are SO grateful, we couldn’t even describe it if we tried.

Today on Facebook (is it still around as you read this, however many years later?), nearly 100 people took the time to tell your daddy and I that you are loved, and to wish you a happy birthday or to add their cheer to the day. You have only been on this earth for 12 months, HD, but you are so, so, so, so loved. I think about that and I look at today and I am just blown away. If people love you that much, and we as your parents love you even more, then how incredibly much must God love you!?! I know that today brings Him great delight, as it does me–to see you thriving and joyful and healthy and growing so beautifully before our eyes.

I want you to know that when I sat down to write to you tonight, I knew it would never be possible to articulate all that I want to say to you about this past year–especially in one blog entry. Suffice it to say that I am overwhelmed by all that you add to my world. Hopefully, if you look back on the past year of my entries to you, you’ll know a little something about just what an impact you’ve had on me. I think sometimes we underestimate the power of a young person, but I would have to be crazy to deny the ways that God has used you to change the world in one year’s time. I would grasp every moment all over again if I could.

Henry, to date you are a resilient, determined, peaceful, friendly, intuitive, sensitive, social, careful-but-adventurous, worshipful, cuddly, radiant, gentle, and inquisitive little being. You are learning at lightening speed (which is normal for your age, but still captivates me all the time:). You have a soft and good heart. You electrify a room. You are magnetic wherever we go.

And as far as other things go? Your third tooth made its appearance yesterday–the top middle left of the bunch, and just a tiny, glimmering white sliver, but it’s there. no matter that you only have two whole teeth at your disposal at mealtimes; you eat everything we give you as if you haven’t seen food in a week. (Don’t worry, you’ve never missed a meal;) You are still crawling speedily wherever you want to go, or cruising at a scary pace along all furniture, walls, doors, and the like. You aren’t quite ready to walk yet, but so close! Another few weeks, and you’ll be terribly hard to catch, I’m certain. You love to drop things and see what happens. You chase after the dog with reckless abandon (he runs away for now, but I’m sure that will change.) You almost always have a matchbox car or something with wheels in your hand. You still LOVE to read more than most other activities, which brings me joy. Your introspection is curious at this age, and I watch you closely to try and determine what’s going on as you process (no luck yet, but it’s still fun). You like your sleep, but you also embrace the day. You get excited about the words “car,” “milk,” “Kruger,” “Daddy,” “Mommy,” “hungry,” and “go,” among others. But if I’m being totally honest, “car” probably outweighs the rest 10:1. You are a boy after your daddy’s heart.

As your mama, I am so humbled to watch you as you grow, realizing on a regular basis that I am responsible for you, what you learn, how you begin to understand the world. It’s no small task, and one I do not take the least bit lightly. You are just as much a gift as you are a responsibility, and I rarely ever mind to meet your needs. You have taught me a lifetime about self-sacrifice and joyful servanthood. How can I ever thank you enough?

So, Little Man-er, this is really it. The start of your second year and a landmark anniversary of the very best day of our lives. I love you an indescribable amount. The Lord bless you and keep you, Henry David. The Lord lift his countenance upon you. The Lord make his face to shine upon you and give you peace, precious one. Happy, Happy Birthday!

all the love in the world,

your mama

 

pure (perfect) michigan.

21 Mar

I had to remind myself all day that it was March 21st. This weather has been unbelievable, and I’m fairly certain we’ll all be pinching ourselves again tomorrow when the temps reach 80 degrees effortlessly. How is it possible that we ventured out the beach tonight wearing summer clothes and worrying nothing about coats or blankets at sunset? Even after the punchy, pink globe dipped down below the horizon, we were hardly chilly in shorts and sandals. I don’t understand our good fortune, but I am embracing this amazing foretaste of Summer while it lasts. As we know, I’m not the biggest fan of the winter months, and this has been the most perfect “Molly” Winter in Michigan that I can remember. It’s the first day of Spring, and there was nary an umbrella or rain coat (or snow pile!) in sight.

Not only did we enjoy the sand between our toes and a gorgeous artistic display in the sky, but we ran into dear friends and laughed /played/snapped photos until the beach was all but dark. It was the perfect cap on the day–God’s handwriting all over every bit!

Today was absolutely, 100% pure Michigan. It was fancy and sunny and warm-breezey and I LOVED it!

A few (ok, my favorite) snapshots from the evening:

Nothing could make me happier: Henry discovering the delight of sand, the sun settling down over the lake, and running into people we love on an impromptu beach night. DELIGHTFUL!

blissfully sandy,

mm

and my burden, light.

18 Feb

This is not the first time I’ve come to the blog at the end of the day and found this verse on my mind: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Mt. 11:28-30

After two emotionally challenging days, I need to be reminded. Not just for my own sake, though. There is comfort in knowing that this verse applies for anyone who will embrace it–dear friends, family, and strangers alike.

Come to me. A perfectly simple invitation. Come. Bring yourself. Bring the junk from your day, the mess you’ve made or the mess you’re in. Bring the hurts and the triumphs, the hard stuff, the stuff you can’t handle on your own. Just come.

All you who are weary and burdened. This is an all inclusive gig. No one gets left out here. Are you exhausted of something? Are you weary from the everyday, the routine, the rhythm? Or maybe the non-ordinary, super hard stuff? Can’t get something or someone off your mind or heart? Feel a bent towards righting an injustice or helping a complete stranger? Then this means you.

And I will give you rest. “I will,” Christ promises. Perhaps not eight hours of solid sleep or a king-sized bed, but real, valuable rest. Your spirit will be refreshed. You won’t run out of steam and have to give up. His grace will be sufficient for you. You heart will be well again. You will always have what you need, when you need it.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart. Christ will be careful with you. Pursuing Him and leaning on Him will make anything easier–if you’ll let it. He will teach you how to focus on what he has shown you, training you to become more and more like Himself in the process.

And you will find rest for your souls. No, really. This is so important it’s stated twice. No one gets to be the energizer bunny without sufficient rest. When you lean into God, He gives you strength for the next step. And then the next. And the next. You don’t have to know how things will turn out in the end, because God already has you covered. He has written and is writing your story as you sit at your computer/read your phone this very minute.

For my yoke is easy and my burden is light. Pursuing me, following my promptings, resting in my promises for your life, and opening up your hand to me to release your troubles into my care–these are all ways to experience my peace. Ask me for what you need. Share your heartache. Pray over and over again. Praise me in advance for what you’re trusting I will do. Go confidently in the direction I lead you. Leave your burdens with me, at the cross.

I am so thankful tonight for these promises from God, and for friends and family who become the Body of Christ around us when we need to be loved, reassured, prayed for, hugged tightly and encouraged in just the right moment. Things don’t always feel ok, or fair, or comprehensible. And we don’t get to have all of the answers, as much as we may want them. But we do know this: when we are weary or burdened and we ask for help, God will give us rest.

may it be so,

mm

this thing we do.

15 Feb

We spent a little time tonight watching videos from when Henry was just days and weeks old. I can’t believe that the teensy tiny baby on camera is the same child who keeps us moving at all times now, just seven, eight, nine months later. It’s a funny thing, being a parent at this stage. Nine + months doesn’t seem all that long ago, and of course we remember those first moments less than a year later. Right?

To some degree, I’d say. I do remember a lot about Henry’s birth and the days that followed, but I think there may have been a good portion that got tucked away behind the new parent haze and the major sleep deprivation that moved in with us when we got home from the hospital. Still, I loved it. Every minute of it. And tonight, watching snippets of our time as a very new family of three made my heart leap all over again. Sure, this gig is hard on a lot of days, but it’s the best job I’ve ever had. I know Jason would agree.

It’s amazing how much I find myself taken with every stage. A good friend has told me on multiple occasions that she’s loved every stage–and that they just get better and better. I admired the prospect of that possibility, but admittedly, I had a hard time believing it when I first set eyes on our little man–I was so in love. The longer I spent time with him as a newborn, the more I was convinced that there’d be little competition for how much my heart overflowed in that season. Not true. On Monday, when Henry said, “Hi!” for the first time while waving at a friend’s little girl, I was reminded just how much he is coming into his own–and how I love every single new change. This evening, when he said, “Buh Bye” while waving goodnight to friends, every bit of the mom in me lit up. More growth. More fun. More of something to celebrate as a parent.

At this stage of Hank’s development, every small thing feels like a big thing to me as his mama. In the same way that his first smile had me near tears in the nursery last Spring, Henry’s discoveries and new words, the connections he makes–and the ability to watch them happen, all bring me such great joy.

My friend was right. It just gets better and better. The day Henry came into our lives, I immediately loved our tiny baby boy more than I ever thought possible. I couldn’t describe just how good it felt then, and I can’t tonight. We are loving every stage as Hank’s parents. How could we not!?

making the days count,

mm

henry’s first valentine.

1 Feb

Henry got his first ever Valentine in the mail today, and it came from one of my favorite people in the world. If anyone gets to be Hank’s Valentine before his mommy does, it’s Great Gramma Donna. She’s the very, very best.

On top of the fact that we got to spend the day with some of our dear friends in Grand Rapids, Henry and I were tickled to come home and open the mail. Two things that made today quite good indeed!

with a glad, grateful heart,

mm

love for today.

26 Jan

When I need little reminders of joy, they are everywhere I look. And I am humbled over and over. Thank you for being joy…

BTA: for more than i could ever write in a blog post. for being constant. for always picking up where we leave off. for phone calls on the drive home. for so. much. love.

(R)BW: for photo sessions with our littles (I still owe you pictures), kindred blogging, kindred lives. for four-legged friends and a worthwhile commute.

AdR: for chats about being mamas to boys over coffee, for pups, for fashion inspiration, for friendship crafted over radio spots and marketing meetings.

BWB: for lunch dates and pregnancy conversations, hearts after God and the written word, crafts and craftiness and your amazing ability to find me when i need to be found. and for dinosaurs.

JLR: for history. for wisdom and friendship and prayer and openness that withstands all tests of time and distance. for doing life, and for witnessing life at its very beginning.

KTB(D): for ruby slippers and choreography and a love of everything literary. for travels to coastlines and shorelines, and for poems we understand without saying a word.

LZ: for sparkle, both the kind you feel and the kind you wear. for generosity of spirit, for encouragement, and for adventure. (and birthdays, of course.)

LH & NJ: for loving our little family like your own. for prayers, guidance, reassurance, countless blessings, time, nourishment in so many ways.

AT: for fridays. for target dates. for raising boys in a crazy world with reckless love and abandon. and for being real.

BZ: for thoughtfulness and encouragement and spirit. for talent that goes on for miles. for always finding the good. for fake mustaches.

EV: for phone calls that break up the day. for too many similarities to count. for trading in tiaras and earning new titles as mamas instead. for strength.

EJH: for laughter. for being honest. for finding silver linings and reminding me of good. for celebrating what matters and never giving up.

GDZ: for believing. for cultivating love and family and generosity and care. for graciousness and gracefulness and grace.

TMD: for late night conversations. for cheering on and lifting up and leaning in. for lessons. and for bunches, not grapes.

JMK: for covenant. for building a legacy. for falling in and rolling to the middle. for dreaming and watching dreams come true. for what is to come.

And there are more, of course, who I don’t mean to miss in the least bit. More who challenge me in the best ways and who build me up–who teach me about blessing and God and what it means to be selfless, generous, willing, authentic, kind, bold. This entry could be a novel, and I sit back in wonder and think, “How did I ever end up here, with so much beauty at every turn?” You are. Believe it. I know it to be true. Beautiful.

there are not enough words.

mm

book club.

10 Jan

It’s official. After 20 some odd years of being an avid reader, a writer by heart and trade, a book store junkie and a lover of the well-crafted word, I am finally a member of a book club. Isn’t that just the most delightful thing?!

Tonight, I joined a group of smart and engaging women (most of whom I met for the first time) who have been meeting monthly for the past 15 years. Not all were a part of the group since its inception, but combined, they have an impressive history of regular meetings, totaling nearly 150 books read together over time. When I arrived, I immediately felt welcome and warmed by the group, who took time to introduce me around the room and to encourage my new participation.

I am certainly the newbie in the mix–these women have weathered all kinds of life together for a long time. But I love that I could enter into something they’ve cultivated all these years and still feel like I’ll have no trouble belonging. Says something grand about the group, if you ask me!

I’m really looking forward to the commitment (and thus the motivation) to read one new book each month. I often have multiple books in the works, but lately have a hard time finishing any one in particular. Now there’s a date on the calendar to remind me to keep going–just another discipline I’m trying to put into place as I work on embracing good and healthy habits in 2012. As I see it, there’s room for improvement in every aspect of life…and even though I love books, own plenty of them, and am tempted to buy more all of the time, I could really improve upon reading them (hard to do if I’m always picking up my phone or scrolling Facebook when I have a few extra minutes here and there.)

I love that I’ll now have a book club to spur me on!

A new book each month, a new bedtime, and the aspiration of embracing and committing to both changes here in the first bit of the new year. Something tells me I’ll be so much happier for the adjustments…

turning pages,

mm

stirred, not shaken.

8 Jan

Yesterday around lunch, I grabbed my bags and headed out for some much needed time with four of my favorite women. I had anticipated the weekend away in both good and challenging ways…looking forward to the chance to let my hair down around friends who have known me for nearly a decade (some longer:), and wondering how I’d feel about being away from my favorite little person overnight. As I prepped to go mid-morning, I struggled unnecessarily with the details of feedings and outfits and schedules for the babe, trying wholeheartedly to remind myself that 24 hours would go by in a blink. And then blink it did.

Arriving at my weekend destination with snacks and the like in hand, I joined an already budding catch-up session in the kitchen–each of us picking up where we’d left off weeks or months ago, laughing and crying and reminiscing straight on through the afternoon, then the evening. And conversation never skipped a beat–not once. Stories poured out into the middle of the room over crackers and dip, wine, dinner, banana bars, pj’s, bedtime. Long after we’d gone to bed we were still catching up, still sharing our hearts with each other like only the best of friends can do.

I saw the clock at 4am and remember little after that until morning. And five hours later, when I woke up without worry about feeding times and diaper changes and the like, I felt as though I’d slept for ten. Refreshed. Rejuvenated. Recharged.

We gathered at the kitchen table. We laughed. Sipped coffee over coffee cake, laughed some more. Then we each sat quietly for a bit and wrote a letter to ourselves about where we are now and where we hope to be when January 2013 arrives. It was the most perfect way to wrap up a visit I never knew I’d so badly needed.

Getting ready to face the day was reminiscent of college–all of the girls chatty in the bathroom, hair dryers and curling irons busy while we eeked out every last minute of our time together. Packing up and promising follow-up conversations over coffee and dinner before too much time passes by, we recounted 15 straight hours of conversation from the day before. You know you’re friends when…

There is something so sacred about friendship when it has withstood (and battled and weathered and triumphed over) the test of time (and distance and circumstance:). And without a doubt I can say that these women, the ones I trust implicitly with my heart and my scars, my absolute imperfections and worries and hopes and aspirations, are among those whom God has used in countless ways to bless my life and to draw me nearer to Him.

I left home yesterday worrying about what the next 24 hours would hold, letting the mama in me tug at all of the places in my heart I haven’t put down since last April 25th. And those places didn’t disappear overnight–in fact, they probably grew in the healthiest ways while I was gone. But as one of my dear friends reminded me this weekend, I needed the space to just be Molly for a little while. Still “Molly, Henry’s mommy,” just not, “Molly with the diaper bag and stroller in tow.”

On the drive home today (and really from the minute our mini-getaway began), I felt an amazing sense of peace. Of joy. Of God clearing out the clutter of the everyday to open my heart to all that He had waiting for me, among some of the most beautiful people I know. And when I came home, that precious, smiley boy was having a fine time with his daddy, grinning ear to ear as I came into view and making my whole self inhale in a different and perfect way.

My heart is stirred tonight. Lighter. My spirit, uplifted.

filled with gratitude,

mm

across the pond.

6 Jan

I was talking with a friend this afternoon about an anniversary trip she’s planning with her husband for the Spring. Almost all talk of travel is delightful in my book, but this conversation tugged at my heart in a real and fresh way as I transported myself back to two places I know the celebratory couple will absolutely LOVE…Cape Town and Kruger National Park, South Africa.

Oh how I covet a teleportation device for these two, breathtaking and incredible places in the world. Jason and I spent our first anniversary in Cape Town and its surrounds, soaking up every last bit of the mountains and ocean, cityscapes and rolling winery hills. I’m all for new adventure, dreaming of new places anytime the possibility of travel comes up, but offer me a ticket to Cape Town and I’m headed back to the inspirational city in a heartbeat!

And Kruger National Park. In a word: otherworldly. There are only so many places on this planet where you can drive a few hours out of the city and suddenly lose yourself in the phenomenal reality of the wild as it exists in Kruger National Park. We took several retreat-like weekends to Kruger when we lived in Johannesburg, and it is one of my favorite places in the world. Kruger captured us so much that we had to come home and name our first dog after the place! Waking up early, early in the morning to hopefully catch a glimpse of a lion pride enjoying its hard work from the night before…starting out “on the hunt” for the elusive “Big Five” (lion, leopard, elephant, rhino and Cape buffalo) and spotting them all in a day’s drive…watching herds of zebra, antelope, wildebeest, elephant making their way across the landscape…taking a night drive to spot all that takes place after hours in the wild…camping within the park and reliving the day’s adventure over a South African braai…

I so miss the ways that we saw God daily in the raw, natural, creative beauty of the African continent. Our life, for now, is here in the U.S., but undoubtedly, we’ve left pieces of ourselves across the pond.

After thinking again today about all of my favorite experiences in SA, I couldn’t help but rifle through a few albums of photographs tonight to bring back even more memories. There are literally thousands upon thousands of photos from our time there–of the people, places and traditions we grew to love. A lot about living in Africa was difficult, sure, but when we look back, it’s hard not to stand in awe of what God allowed us to be a part of for that season of our lives.

A few of my favorite snapshots from Cape Town and Kruger:

relocated. if only for a moment,

mm

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