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every step. (13)

17 Apr

There are so many decisions to make when a baby comes into the world–how are we going to prepare? What do we hope for our birth? For our child? Which items will we buy, by what manufacturer, in which color? For the past 7-8 months, we’ve been making all of these decisions as carefully and as hopefully as we can, doing our best to provide for the littlest member of our family before he or she even arrives. There’s pressure involved, sure. But also anticipation, creativity, and joy. And the closer we’ve come to this last few weeks, the more prepared we’ve felt about every aspect of the process.

As a mom, I want to make the very best choices for our family–from physical needs to medical care, from educational options to product decisions–where health and quality and value all come into play. I also want to make the best of my time and how I spend it, making sure that I surround myself with people, activities and employment that are all conducive to me giving my very best to Jason and our children. It takes a conscious effort not to slip into routine and to allow the circumstances of the day or week to guide my time and energy, and I want this to be a priority, both now and as our family grows in the years to come.

I came across an opportunity this past week that aligns itself beautifully with how I hope to order my life and my time at home with Baby K. I’ve been following a company for a while that has recently made a dynamic shift, renamed itself and taken things in a new direction–and they’re offering five jobs that scream “MOLLY!” in a way I didn’t know was possible. The company is called Hopscout, and here’s what they’re all about. What’s more, here’s the position they’re offering to five really lucky, really tuned in moms and dads. Although timing is interesting (maybe perfect?) with baby coming into the mix any day now, I couldn’t resist the chance to apply.

I’ve been so excited this week to give it a shot, and I can only imagine what a fun and unique opportunity this would be for me and for our family as I shift to spending more time at home with the little one. So…I created a video submission and entered it Friday night, and now, the rest is up to chance and support and hopefully an ounce of providence before the week is out.

Hopscout is narrowing down to its top 20 applicants (finalists) based on a few factors, the biggest of which is the number of votes each video gets by this Friday, April 22nd. You might have guessed it, but here’s where you come in. I’ve never asked for much here at mollymadonna.com, but I would really, really value your support this week as I try to make it into the top 20. How, exactly? There are a few things that can make a big difference:

1) The link to my video is below. If you’d be willing to click the link, watch the video, and cast your vote to show your support, that would be perfect!

2) If you really want to rally behind me this week, you can copy and paste the link on your Facebook wall and encourage your friends to vote as well. This would be an amazing way to help my cause and boost support behind my entry.

You have all been so supportive of me here, and I love having you as part of the community that has developed at mollymadonna.com. Thank you, in advance, for your extended support this week through your votes and sharing on Facebook. This opportunity would be an incredible one for me, and it would also mean new developments here at mollymadonna.com along the way.

Here’s the link:

http://apps.facebook.com/involver_krohuevx/feature/1572247/content/229167177

taking it one step (and one vote) at a time this week. love from this side of the computer,

mm


the list. (59)

2 Mar

With so many thoughts as of late about what is soon to come, I find myself making a mental checklist of what I hope life will include in the next few months and years. I’ve contemplated a “bucket list” for a long time, but now it seems as fitting as ever to finally put some of those intentions and aspirations to paper. I don’t want to miss a single opportunity to be the best mom and wife I’m able to be, but I also don’t want to lose pieces of myself (or my heart) in the transition to motherhood–and into what I know will be a very new and adaptation-filled segment of my life.

So I’m going to begin it here, today, with every expectation of adding to it and crossing a number of items off of it over the next five years. I don’t want to write a list that’s committed to the rest of my life, because in my head, that seems like a long time…and my priorities might change. In the meantime, this is where I’d like to start. It feels good to be getting it out. In no particular order:

1) Become a mom. (I know. This is an “easy ” one at this point. I feel like a mom already. But it’s been on my mental list, and it will be marvelous to check off. One of the greatest, most shaping experiences of my life, I’m certain.)

2) Give birth naturally. (Time will tell, and if I can’t for some reason, I’ll make my peace with it. 5 years gives me a few opportunities though, I suspect, and I’m really, really hopeful.)

3) Travel to Italy. Absolutely a must.

4) Write and publish a book. Also a must.

5) Organize every cabinet and drawer in our house, and be ruthless about getting rid of/donate what we no longer need.

6) Scrapbook/keep a baby book for each of our children.

7) See a musical on Broadway with Jason.

8) Take a mission trip as a family.

9) Journal regularly for a consistent period of time (not including the blog).

10) Hone my photography skills enough to be valuable.

11) Finalize my doula certification (hopefully Baby K’s birth will take care of this one!)

12) Assist the births of teen moms in the area who need support, and develop a local ministry.

13) Plant a successful and flourishing garden; build a compost.

14) Introduce each of our children to God’s creation through exploration, day trips, nature, prayer, conversation and exposure to new things daily.

15) Pray over/with our child/children every night.

16) Read something valuable as a daily routine.

17) Expand and further develop my blog.

18) Pay off my college loans. This is a HUGE one, but I know we’ll get there.

19) Cloth diaper. Successfully. :)

20) Return to Africa and/or India.

21) Take a gourmet cooking class.

22) Learn to make fondant and decorate a cake well.

23) Craft something worth selling.

24) Take sewing lessons from my mom; procure a sewing machine.

25) Visit with family as often as possible.

26) Host a Thanksgiving in our home for people who have nowhere else to celebrate.

27) Own an iPad. :)

28) Further develop my freelance portfolio.

29) Finish designing a baby nursery.

30) Watch 20 of the top 100 classic films of all time.

31) Read through the entire Bible.

32) Go on a cruise with Jason to somewhere warm and tropical.

33) Regularly support a missionary family.

34) Train for and successfully complete two more 1/2 marathons.

I am currently 28, but my 29th birthday will be here shortly after Baby K is born, which means that in 5 years I’ll be 34. So I’m starting this list with 34 items in honor of my 34th birthday and the personal goal I’m setting to accomplish each of these things in the next five years. I’ll probably keep adding to the list at random, but for now, this feels like a great start. And if some things don’t pan out, other things will…I’m just feeling ambitious and hopeful and glad to have more of this written down than I did before. Want to create a 5 year bucket list with me? Let’s inspire each other.

delighted by possibility,

mm

triple feature. (62)

25 Feb

In an effort to quiet things down for a few minutes (but so as not to stray from my 100 day commitment), this is my third post of the day today. Reason being? Jason and I are going to take a little hiatus from all things technological for the weekend.

Yep, you read correctly. We’re going to make it through at least 48 hours (perhaps a few more) sans computers, cell phones, iPads and the like. We’re taking some time for us and holing up all to ourselves for a few days.

And I’m really excited.

It’s a rare thing that we’re set apart from all of the distractions of the outside world–Facebook, Twitter, emails, phone calls, the incessant buzz of a cell phone notification or text. They come flying at us at all hours of the day, whether work-related, social, or otherwise. And we know that none of this will cease when Baby K arrives, but instead, that all of the buzzing will continue in the background as we address feedings and diapers and fussing and parental life.

So, it’s time for a little break. I’m sure I’ll be temped to peek at a notification here or there in the next several days, but I’m really, really happy to be entering into a distraction free zone. And some time for just us.

I’m looking forward to a small stack of books and magazines (and a journal!) beside me on the table this weekend. We might employ a DVD player for a few hours to watch a movie, and then again, we may not. We’ll take walks, wander out to the beach (which is beautiful at this time of year!), cook meals at our leisure and sleep in until we feel like getting up.

We’ve needed this, so here goes. I’ll be back to my old haunts on Monday and picking up with day #61. Don’t worry. I’ll be thinking about baby and getting closer to my due date all the while. :)

signing off, and a bit tickled about it,

mm

confession. (81)

8 Feb

A number of months ago, I bought a brand new moleskine journal. I purchased it with the intent of unwrapping and filling it up without reservation. (For years, this brand and style has been my medium of choice for writing, and I love having a collection of uniform volumes to contain my more personal thoughts, notes, prayers, memories and ideas.) My previous moleskine wasn’t quite full, but at the time, it felt like life was entering a new chapter and it seemed like a good time to start fresh. So I carried the book around with me for a collection of weeks, moving it from bag to bag, and fully expected to need it at any given moment to capture an inspired word or a necessary prayer. While there have been plenty of times since then that I should have put pen to paper, the journal went unblemished. For far, far too long. I finally cracked it open today and inked it up for the first time.

A writer is hardly a writer if she doesn’t write.

I’ve been thinking about this very thing these days, and while I blog regularly now, there’s so much more that I don’t say–and that perhaps I should say, somewhere, before it gets lost in the abyss. When I finally started writing today, I felt a twinge of guilt and a little more, even, of disappointment. I know that there are sentiments I’d love to remember but will always forget because I didn’t write them down. I’d like to do a much better job of capturing life and emotion and memory than I’ve been doing, and I think that there’s value in it…so I’m going to try.

I don’t know what this will look like when the baby comes, or how I’ll stay motivated to write and blog daily when work and meetings and planning and exhaustion all stack themselves up together during the week, but I think it’s important. I’m telling you, because then I feel like there’s actually some accountability to the whole thing…a world of people out there who read once that I was going to write more. And somehow that matters to me.

I’ve been an irresponsible writer. I can do better. I want to do better. I love to write more than so many other things, and there’s nothing like a blank moleskine page to inspire. Pen and paper. I’m kind of old-fashioned like that.

between the lines,

mm

the napping house. (82)

7 Feb

Growing up I loooooved trips to the library, and we made them frequently. I can hardly remember a time when there wasn’t a pile of picture books coloring up the family room somewhere. On our visits, Mom and my sister and I would all pick out a certain number each–mom always finding the best and most brightly illustrated stories in the bunch. We would spend lots of time between the stacks, carefully selecting the perfect titles and carrying them around with us like treasures in nearly unmanageable mounds. We read every single one.

Some of my very favorite stories are still tucked into the piles we grew familiar with when we were young. There were always new ones, of course, but some came home with us again and again, favored and loved and savored with every turn of the page. And we’ve worked to acquire some of those titles over the years, some still in print and others, hard to come by. Now, I wish I had them all to line on bookshelves for a someday-reader in this house. The world of children’s literature is a marvelous one to this day, but I miss the collections–the quality and integrity and depth of so many stories I recall from younger days.

I’m thinking about this tonight because things in our little blue house as of late have reminded me of a story by one our family’s favorite author/illustrator duos, Don and Audrey Wood. A husband and wife pair, their tales are magnificent, their illustrations, brilliant. We never went home without a Wood book in tow, and they are some of my favorites to this day. A pictorial feast:

and my inspiration for this evening…

Aren’t they wonderful?! If I wrote about all of the children’s books I’ve grown to love, I’d easily have a post a day until the baby gets here. I am taken with storytelling, especially when the author and the illustrator marry their talents so beautifully together (and/or are married, which seems to have worked in the Wood’s case:). I can’t wait to have bookshelves lined with old and new favorites for the peanut…we will read and read and read together someday soon. And we’ll pay frequent visits to the library–oh, will we visit the library! It was one of my favorite parts of growing up.

Back to “napping” for now, for me and baby and Jason and Kruger and our little blue house. We are a sleepy and recovering bunch, and we nap oh-so-well :)

goodnight,

mm

countdown worthy.

19 Jan

280 days. That’s where it all began, with 280 days we thought would just be average. And now? Today marks 101 days ’til Baby K is scheduled to make an appearance–179 days into the gig and winding down to double digits in a mere 26ish hours. Crazy how time flies? I think so.

Like other monumental things in life: your wedding day, graduation, moving day, the start of a new job, that dream vacation, this feels utterly and completely worthy of a countdown. (You’ve probably noticed the little ticker in my sidebar by now:) And why not? When the anticipation of something is SO great, counting down the days (or sleeps) gives us the opportunity to feel like active participants in the process while we’re waiting.

Yesterday, I was pondering the 102 days we had to go and decided to put myself up to a little challenge. Of all of the seasons in my life thus far, this is certainly one of them I want to capture well. As such, I’m committing to these last 100 days of pregnancy with a blog post–one for each day until the little one gets here. Now, a little fine print. Baby might not quite be here in 100 days, or he or she might come a little early. I’d like to go so far as to think I can blog in labor, but only time will tell. And every post might have some aspect of baby woven into it, but I’d also like to think I’ll have more to say about other things between now and then, too. Soooooo, here’s the deal. 100 days give or take (starting tomorrow), and 100 posts. Think I can do it? Will you help me?

If you love something here in the next 100 days, I’d love to know about it. And if you’d like to hear about a specific topic, please make me aware of that as well. Critiques? Go for it. Yep, I’m more emotionally charged as of late, but I’d like to consider this time as a fine-tuning, honing-in and defining sort of season for good old mollymadonna.com, and I’d love your help. Please be honest.

K. Here’s to this next challenge, and hopefully, to a great adventure in writing and blogging. More tomorrow, because I promised…

For today: find the thing in your life at this moment that deserves a countdown–even if it’s an upcoming date night or your favorite author’s next release. And let me know what you’re counting down to. We’ll do this together!

10o more to go :)

mm

10 for ’10.

4 Jan

I realize that we’re already three (maybe 4 when this posts) days into the new year, but I’d feel remiss not to at least pay homage to the 365 days that made up the whirlwind that was 2010. Like most writers are wont to do around January 1st, I’m going to do my best to mix it up a little bit around here in the days to come, and to commit to more writing simply because it’s what I love to do. To begin…ten things I loved about 2010 (in chronological order):

1. On Jan. 1st, 2010, I received an email that would eventually change my worldview, again. It was an invitation to India, and 23 days later, I was on an airplane. Along with 10 others, I spent 12 days traveling to Vijayawada, Hyderabad and Mumbai, witnessed God changing lives right in front of me, and experienced the power of worship in beautiful new ways. I’ll never forget it.

2. Upon my return from India, Jason and I spent a weekend away at Family Life’s Weekend to Remember. We stayed at one of our favorite hotels, spent the weekend focused on our marriage and the things that God is doing in our lives as a couple, and  renewed our commitments to each other as husband and wife. I was so grateful for this focused time away, and it was a great opportunity for us to love better than we have before. I really do love being a wife, and I’m really blessed by Jason.

3. In March, we celebrated 3 years of being married. It seems like time is flying by, as we now round the corner on #4. We have been so blessed, in good times and in hard ones, and we’ve learned a lot about God, ourselves, and each other.

4. April provided an opportunity for me to study to become a doula/birth assistant in Ann Arbor, and to continue a journey that began during our time in Africa. I loved soaking up all of the information I learned through DONA’s training, and I’ve loved the process ever since.

5. In May, I witnessed my first birth–the precious babe of a dear, dear friend. It was so humbling to watch another human being take her first breath, and to be included in this miraculous process was an incredible gift. I was fortunate enough to count two more births in the summer months, and babies two and three were also amazing and life changing, each in their own ways.

6. I turned 28. Yep, 28. A year so full of wonder that I could hardly have anticipated then–and I still have 5 months to go!

7. We found out we’re going to be parents. To a little baby:) I found out on August 29th, and waited to tell Jason until the following day. Then, we kept it to ourselves for a while to soak it in before sharing the news with family a few weeks later. Keeping the secret was blissful and torturous at the same time. It was wonderful to have the tiny little miracle all to ourselves, but it’s been such great fun to share in the joy with others since.

8. We traveled to D.C. A last minute getaway over Labor Day weekend, J and I escaped to the capitol city for some much needed R & R. We walked a gagillion miles, admired art, took funny photos, ate our fill of great food, wandered shops and learned what I was going to feel like in my first trimester. Looking back, I’m so grateful that this trip timed itself as it did. Loved every minute!

9. We saw Baby K for the first time. And the second. At nine weeks we got to take a little peek, and at the time, our first born was the size of a peanut in its shell. He or she appropriately adopted the moniker “peanut,” and we’ve been smitten ever since. At 19 weeks, we saw the kiddo in full force. Hands and feet, fingers and toes, chambers of a beating heart, brain, kidneys, umbilical cord and looooong legs (nope, definitely not mine:). My favorite parts to ogle now are the teeny tiny nose we have on film and the little chin that goes with it. I am so in love I can hardly stand it. 16.5ish weeks until we snuggle the little babe!

10. New Year’s Eve. Period. One of my VERY favorite days of 2010. I’ll detail more of this later, but it was completely red letter and sooooo necessary. How could we go wrong in downtown Chicago with a great hotel and view, yummy dinner, tickets to WICKED, shopping at Macy’s and a balloon drop at midnight? What a way to ring in a new year!

All in all, it’s far easier to remember the good in the year than anything that might have been less than great. This list could surely go on, but to me, it’s at least a great snapshot. And I didn’t want to forget. Nope, not at all.

Here’s to another year with more joyful memories in the making. Oh, what a delight it will be to watch it all unfold!

refreshed,

mm

 

a safe place

10 Aug

Sometimes, you just need a safe place to land–like a friend’s couch, a good coffee shop at the end of the day, a blog post. What makes it safe? Your level of comfort with it, and your ability to be yourself within its context, whatever that might be.

After a long day today, I needed a safe place to land and found it in a few, blessed, unplanned places–not the least of which is this space right here. When I share thoughts here, no matter how general or personal, I consider it a safe place. I don’t feel this way because it’s a private journal; anyone could Google me and find this blog. I know when I write and subsequently hit the “publish” button that my thoughts are no longer silent, quiet ones, but ones I’ve exposed to others for their consideration, perusing, digesting, disdain or delight (well…hopefully, not their disdain, let’s be honest).

And perhaps that’s why it feels “safe” to me. Not because I’m not risking something by writing here. Ideally, I’m taking risks in a positive vein every time I write and make it public. It’s “safe” because I choose to share what I need/want/feel compelled to share in any given space and time, and then I place it out there, somewhere in the mix of all that’s swirling. And I do this with the intention of cultivating thoughts and conversations, relationships and a transparency that somehow make us all a little more introspective, vulnerable and real with ourselves and with one another. I know I won’t always achieve this, but already, you are helping me to do this one day at a time–through your comments and emails, and in conversations when we intersect in everyday life. Thank you. Thank you for helping to make this a safe place. It ought to be. And it will be, as long as I have anything to say about it. :)

To comfy couches, carefully crafted lattes, friends and this. I love landing here…

mm

a most gracious hostess

13 Jul

This week, Jodi from jodimichelle.com has been in the throes of moving her adorably outgoing and adventurous family from their home on the south side of town into a temporary apartment. She and hubby, Aaron, are in the process of building a lovely new home, and are acclimating to life only a stone’s throw from downtown Holland until their new place is complete in a few months. In the meantime, Jodi’s had a lot on her hands…a garage sale, packing, juggling kids, getting crafty, celebrating Summer–you know, the things you do when you’re a young mom.

Being the smart cookie that she is, and knowing that this month would be jam-packed with activity, she graciously invited some of us to guest post on her amazingly entertaining, insightful, honest, variety-filled blog. I’m honored to be in her company, and with her, the company of one of my other favorite people, Rebekah. To catch all three of us at once, visit Jodi and catch a glimpse of why I’m so blessed by these two women. My topic of choice for a little blog moonlighting, “Everything’s Amazing and Nobody’s Happy.” I’ve been learning a good lesson ever since watching the You Tube video by the same name…

Here’s to hosting and being hosted!

mm

12:42am

9 Jul

it’s 12:42am, and i’m exhausted, but wide awake. been through every emotion possible in the past 48 hours. i’ve just poured myself a glass of milk and retrieved two double stuffed oreos from the pantry. i never eat oreos. what this says about the space i’m in at the moment, i’m not even sure. just felt like being honest and a tiny bit vulnerable at this crazy hour.

off to dunk cookies and find a forgiving pillow. mm

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