Here we are, rounding the corner on the start of week 26…15 weeks before my due date and approximately 104 days til baby. There’s a little bit of disbelief as I look back on the past 6 months and very clearly recall the day I took the test, telling Jason over dinner, escaping to D.C. for a long weekend with our little secret, traveling home to Chicago to tell our parents. Seeing baby as a little peanut at 9 weeks, hearing the heartbeat for the first time at 11 and watching a whole tiny person move around in my belly at 19 weeks along; each instance is so present in my memory that I can hardly understand how we got here, to 25 weeks, so fast.

On the flip side, there have been sleepless nights (oh, have there been nights!) and achy days. Weeks of Sierra Mist and crackers to get me through countless mornings, the need for afternoon naps, and days where ambition has meant getting out of bed, dragging myself through work, ordering take-out for dinner and falling asleep on the couch much too early. My To Do lists are longer these days, and sometimes, in a 24-hour period, they stay the same. I’m learning a lot about being OK with less–less sleep, less energy, less around the house that’s exactly how I’d like it to be. And at the same time, I’m learning a lot about abundance, too. Abundant reliance on God and on the supportive people around me (read: Jason, close friends, family who’ll answer the phone at any hour to give me a place to download), abundant patience with myself as I reset expectations, abundant pillows stacked around me in bed at night, and abundant love for this little person who is stretching me in far more ways than one.

At 6 months in, I’m realizing just how physically ready I’ll be in a few months to have this baby in my arms instead of my body. I’ll be glad to have normal things–like balance and the ability to put shoes on while standing up, back on my side. I’ll be happy to wash dishes AT the sink, and not a belly away from it, to sleep on my back or stomach without worry, and to lift boxes and groceries and a baby carrier at will. I’ll probably also miss the little nudges to my ribcage, the magic of an unseen miracle, and the constant (quiet:) company of my son or daughter at every moment of the day.

With 3.5 more months to go (yep, the math is actually 9.5 months, not a well-rounded 9), I’m also SO grateful that God always knows what He’s doing, and that we have this seemingly-long period of time to prepare for baby for good reason. There is no way I’d feel prepared to welcome a baby human into our lives without getting things into a certain order first. Baby-prep takes time, as does the mental and emotional prep of becoming a new parent. There’s painting and organizing and purchasing to be done, but also conversations and prayer and moments of contemplation to be had before we’re ready for Baby K. We know we’ll never be fully “ready,” but we’re so glad that we can take this season to prepare in the ways we know how and the ways we’ve dreamed about together. After all, picking out the “perfect” colors, car seat, crib and baby names takes time, you know!

The thing about having a baby is that there’s no speeding it up or slowing it down. Once you’re pregnant, it just sort of happens to your life in the blink of 40 weeks, and suddenly, you’re parents and there’s this baby looking up at you and counting on you for everything. Just like that. I’d say we’re about two thirds of the way ready for that next giant step, and appropriately, we have just about one third of the way to go before delivery day. Amazing, isn’t it, how timing works out?

In the days ahead, I’ll be chronicling the evolution of baby’s nursery–a great project to focus on for the last trimester, and an exciting change for us and for the little blue house. Stay tuned for photos, nursery-favorites and the like 🙂

embracing the process,

mm