Today has kind of taken on a theme of its own, without much coaxing or thought from me. I suppose a lot of days are like that, but today it’s strikingly obvious because nearly every conversation I’ve had has touched on the idea of letting go. Sometimes I look for something so hard that I can’t see past my own self to find it. Today is not one of those days.

I had coffee with a friend this morning, and I love that this particular friendship always comes back to conversation about growth and encouragement where faith is concerned. I don’t think we intend to set out on the same topic every time, and it comes about in different ways, but inevitably, we land on faith-related issues. Today we reflected on the ways that God comes alongside of us most evidently when we’re willing to surrender. We make room for Him to guide us, and then He takes over the driver’s seat. There are places in each of our lives right now where this seems so evident, and it’s celebratory and exciting and powerful to witness. We are, both of us, trying hard to trust and let go in new areas of our lives on a regular basis, and the opportunity to share what God is doing reminds us that the path is important. We are better off letting go.

As a side note, a bagel and coffee are always delightful, but they taste much better in the company of a good friend 🙂

From there, I went into a meeting that I might have dreaded a few months ago. Today, I let go of something I’ve been trying to make work–to hold onto for the sake of possibility and the fear of disappointment, for nearly a year. The conversation was natural and honest and ultimately, releasing. I knew I didn’t have anything to worry about for having it, but on the other side of my meeting, I am altogether more peaceful and joyful for recognizing my limitations and being honest with myself and others. There have been seasons where I’ve prayed about this in depth, agonized over it at length and pushed through it so as not to feel like I’d somehow failed. This week, things just suddenly became very clear for me and I realized that to keep force-feeding it would have been the real failure. The result of letting go in this instance? The opportunity to continue nurturing relationships and ministry without the burden I was carrying. I’m breathing more deeply already.

Next? Lunch. A delightful lunch with three incredible ladies in celebration of Baby K and the new developments in each of our lives. Appropriately, we landed on the subject of parenthood and adjusting to the idea of going with the flow in the process. This kind of letting go comes into play where baby and nursery and organizational plans are concerned, and it was good to be encouraged by three experienced moms on the subject. They reminded me that we’re (Jason and I) still young, that we’re doing just fine, and that we’ll never arrive–even after three or four children come our way. I know this to be true, but it still helps to check myself on this one with people I trust. Nothing is more important than having enough love to usher baby into this world; the rest will likely take care of itself. Over soup and salad and a sense of gratitude for the way that God has blessed my life with such beautiful people, I was reminded that I’m free to let go of the details and to focus on the nurturing and loving and mothering that I’m called to be about–both now and in a few more months when it’s all that much more tangible and real.

So. Letting go. The perfect “theme” for a Friday as I head into the weekend, and the perfect theme for my life as I process eleven more weeks (or so) before we’re “mom and dad” forever.

I’m letting go of a few worries, some control, measures of doubt. And I’m relinquishing a bit of fear, a sense of failure, and the burden that comes with wanting so much to be just right. It will be, in its time, if I just let it.

opening up these hands again,

mm