The big question these days seems to be “How much longer do you have?” It used to be, “How far along are you?,” but now, there are just a few telltale signs that naturally reframe the question. I can’t hide them with my coat, my shopping cart or my purse (although I did pull that fast one on the waiter last night…), and I don’t want to. I’m too excited that the answer is officially “4 weeks” everywhere I go. 4 weeks! That’s 28 days from now–or less than a month. And it’s a bit surreal.

I told Jason today that I have no trouble seeing him as a dad to a newborn–I imagine him that way all of the time as of late. And I have no problem envisioning actually delivering the baby, or how we’ll spend days out and about when he or she is a few months old. For some reason though, I’ve hardly spent time imagining what it will be like getting to know the teeny tiny person that we’re actually going to be bringing home. Maybe it’s because the idea of being “mom” feels really natural, and when I think in those terms, I see myself pushing a stroller, running around the park and juggling grocery bags, a car seat and a baby. But the space between the hospital and let’s say, a few weeks into Summer, are kind of blurry to me at the moment. I’ll admit this now, because even thinking about the fact helps me to begin to actually process that a very new, very dependent, very amazing baby will be with me 24 hours a day in the flesh, instead of inside my belly.

Wow. How life is about to change.

This is just about the most delightful thing I can possibly imagine–the day when all of our preparations and expectations turn into a new reality and we get to learn what it means to have this blossoming life in our hands. The weight of responsibility feels huge, but the joy of it all (as I imagine it) will be too great to miss. And the fact that that day is no longer far off in the distance, but rather, likely to land on a date I can see clearly on the calendar, is a beautiful one.

Tonight, as we continue to make preparations at home and in our hearts, the little one is coming ever closer to the light of this world…I can hardly believe I get to be a witness to the miracle!

counting as patiently as possible,

mm