HD,

You are officially 22.5 months old. Do you know what that means? It means I missed a blog post to you and have been thinking about it since February 25th. I promised myself I’d keep this up on schedule, but here I am. I hope when you read this you don’t think anything of it–only that it’s a reflection of our incredibly busy life these days, and a reflection of your incredibly tired mama. It’s true that there’s a lot happening in our world, and that the days feel longer and shorter at the same time. You are helping to keep my days beautifully full as you always do. And I can’t pretend to bottle up the past month and half in a blog post, so I won’t. But I’m here, and thinking of you, and wanting you to know I love you as much as I ever have. You make our days so bright!

We’re entering an interesting phase of life with you, Mister, and I think I have a love/hate relationship with trying to figure out how to be the best mama I can be for you at this stage. You are so full of life and so high energy…so verbal and articulate and expressive from the moment you wake up until the moment you rest your head. But sometimes I don’t seem to know what you need these days, and you may or may not be sure how to tell me. Even though you have a lot to say, I think we maybe miss the boat with each other here and there. Our 28 year gap might have something to do with that–I seem to have forgotten what it’s like to have two year old needs. Perhaps nothing but a few minutes of crying and working through it are what you need, and I should just let you have that space as you sort it out. Yet, I’ve grown so accustomed to being able to fix things for you, and it’s getting a little harder. I’m up for the challenge…I’m just sorry that I don’t always get it right. You and I are both learning a lot about patience and a lot more about grace. We’re saying “I’m sorry” to each other more and practicing forgiveness. Despite the hardest moments, I always love when we can talk about things afterward and learn more about moving in the right direction together. You are marvelous to me in that I know you somehow understand. A “yes” to the question, “Will you forgive me,” a hug and a tightly squeezed hand in mine moving forward into the rest of our day. You are still my very best little buddy.

My favorite things about you these days? Your sense of humor, for one. No need for entertainment at the dinner table–you keep us laughing meal after meal, from sun up to sun down. I love that we make faces with each other, that you dance around the room with your daddy without reservation, that we make goofy sounds and act all silly and have a blast being ridiculous on a daily basis. And then, your creativity. I love sneaking into the room to hear your cars have conversations with each other…”Time to take a bath!” “You need a towel? Ok, I can get you one.” “Ok, let’s go.” I love that you loved making “Valentimes,” and that every time we get out stickers and paper now, you exclaim, “Valentimes!” as if they’re the best thing ever. Together, we draw car carrier trucks and pick up trucks and trains til we’re blue. I never knew I had such the artistic hand at things that go, but you seem to think they’re grand. I love your filter and how it works like that! And then, your memory. I don’t know how you do it, but you remember everything. Everything. Sometimes I worry that this means you’re remembering the hard or bad things, too, and I know I won’t be able to protect your from all of that forever. Still, so far your memory serves you to recall every last place we saw a great construction vehicle, emergency scene, train track, funny little animal. You’ve started to “read” me your stories with crazy accuracy, and it’s fascinating to watch your mind work. I will be working hard for a long time to keep up with your constantly turning gears, and that’s something I so admire and adore about you!

Henry, despite the growing pains of this age, you sure do delight and surprise us more than not. Most especially in this season, I am taken with your gentleness and care for babies–including the tiny one growing in mommy’s tummy and also your sweet, sweet cousin, Emmelia. It was the absolute best to watch you interact with “Miss Mia” on our visit to Colorado last month, and I am so endeared to the way you randomly stop what you’re doing to come over and pat my belly or put your head on my lap and say, “awww” as you get as close as possible to your teeny sibling. Somehow you know what’s happening, and although I’m certain your world will change greatly come August, I know that you are building a special place in your heart for this little one who will forever be your little brother or sister–and maybe even, your very best friend. I can’t wait for you two to meet!

Little man, you are awesome. There’s no doubt about it. And you’re surrounded by beautiful people who bless our lives by being in yours. I am unbelievably thankful for the investment that so many have already poured into your world! Someday, I hope you can know just how much it means that you were so enveloped in amazing relationships when you were young–our life is FULL of incredible souls who love you without hesitation! And we love you without hesitation, Bug. We love you and love you and love you, and then we love you some more.

you are growing so fast! six more weeks and you will be TWO! can you believe it?

i blinked, and here we are. in awe of all that 22.5 months can mean,

your mama