This natural slowing down that’s taking place is a good thing…and a hard thing. My inclination to keep moving contradicts my body’s messages to sit still, and I’m not the best listener. Busy makes the time go faster. Busy gets things done. Busy also makes me sore and crabby and a lot less likely to be refreshed when labor arrives, so I’m trying to heed the signals and slow my pace.

My walking is surely slower, but my brain is on the go.

Last night I think I saw every hour on the clock, and some of them two or three times. I woke up feeling just about as tired as I’d been when I went to bed, and meeting the needs of others this morning was a halfhearted attempt at best. I had a hard time focusing most of the day.

That being said, I realized not too far in that I didn’t need to make today work on my own. I asked God not to allow me to be in labor without rest under my belt, which immediately allowed me to stop worrying about that part. Worrying makes me more tired, as I’m sure it does everyone else.

The kids and I found things to keep busy with from lunchtime on, while Jason taught a long afternoon class elsewhere. We have all learned a new pace as a trio, and it’s been beautiful to witness the kids gaining empathy and understanding in the process of me growing this baby. I appreciate them and their hearts so much, and more than that, I appreciate how they have become such a good team together. We have our fair share of heated sibling moments around here, but at the end of the day, Henry and Eloise are best friends and partners in crime.

Tonight I’m more run down than I’ve been in a while, and I’m believing that God can provide in a way I don’t normally consider. I’m not asking for energy tonight, but for sweet sleep instead. I know he can do that, and I need to trust him that I could wake up tomorrow feeling really refreshed and ready to face the day well.

I have so few words, and still, a desire to preserve what’s here in honor of our precious babe. So rest it is for tonight. And hopefully a more alert, more present, more prepared mama will rise here in the new morning.

sleep well, all.

mm