Littlest One,

I’m sitting down to write to you and it’s nearly 11:30pm. I should likely be in bed, but it’s hard for me to quiet my mind at this hour, and especially when I’m carrying a sweet babe along for the ride. You’re up and moving around quite a bit in my belly–good company for a mama who ruminates and finds her productive stride long past bedtime for the rest of the house.

Today was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the air was warm and it felt like summer might really arrive soon after all. I’ve been telling myself that the road to summer might feel long this time around, but once it’s here, I know time will fly. We’re less than a week from the third trimester, when it seems like only a bit ago I was wondering how we’d ever get to halfway.

I feel like I’m teetering in the balance of things: you are so close and yet, meeting you feels so far away. I need rest, but my mind races with to do’s and wishes and dreaming about a future with you in it. I’m forever considering the long view and still somehow preoccupied with what’s coming up in merely the next few days ahead. I want to move every bit of the process of preparation for you down the line in a hurry, and I want to savor these days and this nesting instinct and all the bits of being pregnant I prayed for for so long. Sometimes (most times), I can’t believe I get to do this again.

While we’re both awake, I’ll just share that you’ve been consistently active at this time every night since the first days I could feel you moving about. I felt your first kicks just shy of 15 weeks pregnant, so you’ve been apparent to me in a more tangible way for more than two months, and I’m thankful. I’ll take all the jabs and movement you have to offer. I do wonder whether this time of night will be busy for you once you’re here, or if you’ll just settle in to a different rhythm once there’s daylight and the pace of our family weighing in. No matter. Almost five years down the line from your brother being born, I’m trying to remember what it feels like to be awake at all hours of the night. 😉 Night owl though I may be, I sure do enjoy a full night’s sleep, too, and I’m always fascinated how our bodies prepare themselves for the days of newborn schedules ahead.

I’m going to keep this on the shorter side so I can hop into bed while today is still today, but I’ll just add first that the dreams I’m having lately are the strangest! Always in color and with a million details, I’m definitely experiencing the weird, vivid dreams people correlate with pregnancy. I don’t keep track of dreams in a journal or anything, but maybe I should. Someday soon, I’ll tell you about a very important dream I had back in the fall…one that’s as big a part of your story as anything else to date. Meanwhile, sweet dreams, little babe.

Love always,

Mama