For the past few weeks, we’ve watched closely as five caterpillars have undergone the first few steps of their transformation into butterflies. They arrived in the mail and ate their way around a small container for a week or so, eventually shedding their last exoskeletons and attaching to the lid of the container to hang and form chrysalides. It’s been a little over a week since then, and today, three of the five butterflies emerged. All day they’ve been stretching and drying out their wings, completing the last bits of the transformation process to prepare for release.

Watching these seemingly helpless, infant-staged caterpillars evolve into beautiful butterflies feels a bit like a front row seat to pregnancy from a different vantage point. This baby growing inside is transforming right now in order to be ready to emerge into this world. The mystery of how this transpires is still so great to me. Something from nothing. Life from dust. I just can’t help but marvel at how God does this work, and somehow, the miracle is more surprising to me than it’s ever been. It doesn’t feel matter of fact to me at all; every day I wake up more amazed by what’s happening.

Seeing three butterflies alive and well in their butterfly house today has captivated everyone here. We keep checking on the remaining chrysalides with anticipation, admiring the butterflies that have already stretched their wings. Of course, the anticipation we all feel about meeting this little one in my belly is far greater, but the source of joy is the same–new life is captivating. Bearing witness to it is all grace.

E asked today how many more weeks we have to go until baby, and when I told her it was about twelve, she mentioned that that seemed pretty soon to her, even if she knew it sounded like a long time to me. And while twelve weeks does seem far away in some ways (and I love her for knowing that), it really seems like nothing when I consider than an entire human life is transforming in this span of time. In the same way that I can’t understand how a caterpillar becomes a butterfly in a matter of weeks, I can’t grasp the millions of details that fit into a nine and a half month process and result in a life we already love unconditionally–someone who is already part of the fabric of our family. To be a vessel in this undertaking is beyond my comprehension.

The song, “New Wine,” by Hillsong runs through my mind with frequency, and it is my fervent prayer:

In the crushing
In the pressing
You are making new wine
In the soil
I now surrender
You are breaking new ground

So I yield to You into Your careful hand
When I trust You I don’t need to understand

Make me Your vessel
Make me an offering
Make me whatever You want me to be
I came here with nothing
But all You have given me
Jesus bring new wine out of me…

Transforming is hard work, and God is illustrating to me in so many ways that He has always been in the business of transformation in our lives. I’m so thankful He sees it through and doesn’t give up on us mid-metamorphosis.

MM