Twice today I found myself laughing to the point of tears, and twice today, it felt like my stomach might tear in two. I wasn’t just crying because I was laughing, but crying because the stretching and pulling hurt so darn much. And I couldn’t stop. Everyone was laughing with me…then sort of at me…I was a sight, to be sure. The first time, we were out to dinner and we were all laughing so hard at the table that when our server came by, he started laughing, too. I couldn’t compose myself enough to even look in his direction, tears streaming down my face. All of this over C’s silly dancing and antics at the table. If anyone can have even strangers in stitches, it’s our energetic four year old.

Laughing so hard it hurts is a good thing and I’ll embrace it. But goodness, it’s painful! And it’s painful to realize why: I worked so hard to heal diastasis recti after birthing three nine pound or heavier babies, and I guess now the proof is in the pudding that it worked. I don’t think I had this sensation of being physically pulled apart with each of our other babies because after my first pregnancy with H, I probably didn’t have too many muscles left to separate. Now though, this is a different ballgame. I was fully back to so many things I hadn’t been able to do in a long time, and I’m thinking we’ll be putting my PT exercises to good use again come fall. As an upside, I’ve done the PT needed to get back to having my stomach muscles in working order, so I’ll know just what to do. And it goes without saying that it’s all worth it–every little bit.

I continue to marvel at what our bodies do and what they’re capable of in growing and birthing babies. When think about the logistics of it all, I’m just amazed. I mean, how we form a whole extra organ just for pregnancy that becomes the life source for our baby…it’s incredible! As a doula, I have the privilege of witnessing birth somewhat regularly, and I’m never not amazed by any of them. God’s creativity never gets dull or boring!

There’s not much left to say about today’s growing pains, except that I’m just humbled to be growing and stretching at all. Working our way to 29 weeks and it feels just as much a miracle as it did the first time and each time after. I don’t ever want to miss the miracle, even if it means I’m laughing and crying with strangers all the way through.

I hope I can keep these muscles together, but if not, it’ll be for the very best reason.

MM