Last night I shared ten things I know for certain about our littlest babe, and tonight, here’s ten things this pregnancy is teaching or re-teaching me:

1. God is never done with us. He is always working or willing to work on our hearts to draw us closer to Him. This pregnancy has and is bringing me nearer to Him in a host of ways.
2. Setting my mind on things above is vital these days. Setting my mind on the end result of this season is as well. I need both to move forward with a positive attitude.
3. I have learned to surrender more in the past seven months than in so many other seasons of life. I know I’m not in control and never have been, but letting that go to an all-seeing, all-knowing, protective and kind Father is relieving and good.
4. Pregnancy is holy ground. Life forming inside of me amazes me every single day. I don’t understand why we get to be a part of this miraculous work, but it’s incredibly humbling that we do.
5. My physical stamina to carry a baby is different at 39 than it was a 29. Maybe this is an obvious statement, but it’s really true that pregnancy changes with age (and number). My body remembers how to do more, but it’s cranky about more, too.
6. I am looking for wonderment as much now as ever. Admiring creation, sharing it with our children/as a family and taking note of beauty in the world is a life force for me.
7. I feel so alive to emotion, so aware of all things in nature, so attune to what I need and/or want in my space and life. I am more likely to reject what doesn’t fit into that picture these days…not unkindly, but as a way of protecting who I am and what our baby/family needs. This must be a mama bear type instinct. I consider it a benefit, but also a challenging feature. As an Enneagram 1 with a very strong 9 wing, achieving what I hope for or envision while also trying to ensure the happiness and peace of others is a line to tow. I can see how God is working on me in this area to be the healthiest version of myself that I can be.
8. Carrying a baby brings me great joy. I am sometimes overwhelmed by the challenges of this task, but I’m never not elated that there is a baby in my belly. My love for all things birth and babies grows stronger with time. I’m so grateful to have the privilege of welcoming life as a doula, and I cherish the fact that I get to welcome life again as a mama, too.
9. I am getting better at pushing away doubt and fear and turning to prayer. This isn’t always easy, but it seems to grow in me like a muscle. I have asked God to help me with this, and He is sure to answer in His own way and timing. I am learning not to waste as much energy on hard things and to relinquish them to Him instead. I do this very imperfectly and need to remind myself frequently that that’s the direction I’m moving in. It’s totally worth it.
10. I feel more comfortable in my skin than maybe ever before. It’s not that I never doubt myself, but that I’m growing in embracing who God has created me to be. This feels really good. I want to honor what God intends for me, and to be the best steward I can of all He’s given me. I definitely still have to course correct at times, but the path is getting easier. I hope to be able to model this for our children as they grow. God only does good work, and I don’t ever want to diminish that truth.

In the process of writing this list, I’ve also been reminded that self-reflection is key for me: now and probably always. Being honest could be a superpower if I hone it the right way. I hope I will.

Grateful for these truths and for this life and for these days of counting down–it’s all such a gift.

MM