Some days we wake up and things just don’t start out as hoped, right? Maybe the alarm goes off and we hit snooze one too many times, maybe we’re just slow moving that morning and get a little behind, maybe we never remembered to set the alarm at all. Or it could be that the kids are already awake and needing a little bit of everything, that the schedule ahead is long and daunting, or that someone was sick in the night and no one got much sleep. However the case may be, it’s hard to begin on a bad note, and that’s fair. Especially on days when we’re looking forward to something, a bad start or a rough night has a way of turning the tables that just doesn’t feel very good.

I always hate to let a bad start run the whole day, but sometimes it’s hard to right the ship in a hurry. The kids and I have made a practice of “starting over” when a day gets off on the wrong foot. As much as I hate to admit it, if it’s me who’s in a tizzy, it’s really hard to ask everyone if we can start again–but it’s worth it. Starting over usually requires some apologies and forgiveness. Great muscles for us to exercise, and hard ones to use when the whole gang is already cranky. Bless our kids, they’re as forgiving as we all should be (almost always). In a matter of moments we’re beginning again, and somehow that feels like permission to shake off our grumbling, move past our offense(s) and even laugh with each other. It usually takes away the sting of things for all involved.

Other bad days are hard to remedy for reasons beyond our control; no starting over will mend them in the moment. When I’m in the midst of a day I can’t right, I’m not always in a space to feel glass-half-full or to see where things will go on the other side. I’m sure this is natural, but still hard. So what’s best? For me, here’s a dozen avenues that often help:

1. Playing worship music. I might not be in the mood, but this takes little investment on my part. Just having it on, the words of familiar songs creep in to my heart and mind. Either they end up encouraging me, they help me to feel understood because their lyrics are lamenting in nature, or my mood lifts because I can’t help but sing (or maybe cry, depending on the circumstance?) along with them. When I’m not in a space to go to God in clear-thinking prayer, the act of worship nudges me forward until I can get there.
2. Connecting with a friend or a compassionate soul in my life. Sometimes this means I send a text message asking for prayer. Sometimes it’s recording a Polo message for a friend to listen to later. Often, it’s a phone call so that I can safely set the weight of my worries down with a heart that’s willing to listen. I never want to put my burdens on someone else, but the people closest to us don’t usually find our burdens to be burdensome. The peace of knowing someone else will pray or that they understand my heart is often enough to get me over the hurdle.
3. Finding a place to be alone. This is easier said than done and doesn’t happen often, but my family knows that if I’ve retreated to my office, I’m probably in need of a little space–and they generally respect that. Sometimes I pick up a book or shed tears that need to fall. Other times, I just sit in the quiet. It’s in those moments that I’m better able to ask God for help, which always changes the game for the hours that follow.
4. Snuggling my kiddos. This is certainly not always the answer, but a hug or just sitting with another person for a while can do us all a bit of good. The physical presence of someone else can be just the thing when there aren’t words or actions that can otherwise mend an ache. As our family gets older, I feel like we all resort to this in times of pain or sadness, and it’s comforting and good.
5. Buying fresh flowers. This is a game changer for me. If I have the time, I drive to my favorite flower shop and spend ten minutes in the cooler picking out blooms that speak to my personality/mood. There’s always something new there that can lift me out of a haze or funk, plus the benefit of having the bouquet around for the next days or weeks is so tangible.
6. Getting my hands in dirt. Planting, pruning, watering, repotting or sometimes even weeding is replenishing for my soul. Making something more beautiful is always a good avenue to lift my spirits. I get a little teasing sometimes for the number of plants in our home, but they all have a different way of reminding or encouraging me of something. So good.
7. Fixing or ordering food that nourishes or feels comforting. Sometimes that’s a pot of soup. In the summertime, it’s probably a smoothie or salad. I defer to go-to things that I don’t have to think twice about to make, and often, to recipes that have long been prepared for me by family over the years. I don’t love to bake, but occasionally, making a treat to share with the rest of the household is a pick-me-up, too.
8. Journaling. My habit of doing this has faltered over the years, but when I put pen to paper and dump my thoughts, I almost always feel better. Going back to read what I’ve written helps me to process, or to put my finger on the thing that most needs attention or healing.
9. Praying. This one can be hard if I’m in a rough place, but it can also be the most comforting thing. In times of stress, my prayers might be crazy long or super short. Still, giving things over to God and trying my best to offer gratitude is always lifting. Even just knowing that I uttered a request for help to the One who can help me most is sometimes the lightness that I need to set a hard thing down for a moment. Being reminded of my smallness in light of His power and compassion never has a bad impact, either.
10. Getting outside. Sunshine and fresh air are almost always helpful. While I don’t often feel as motivated to get out when it’s chilly or raining, even a few minutes can change my tune if I just step outdoors. Barefoot when possible for grounding benefits, and certainly if the kids are having a hard time, too. “Everybody out,” is a policy that has served us well again and again.
11. Watching a tried and true show that I know will make me laugh, or picking up a book that will allow me to bury my thoughts in someone else’s story. Every once in a while I just need to stop ruminating on my own reality and be distracted by someone else’s. I don’t ever want this to become an escapist-type habit, but there’s a reason we all appreciate a good comedy or storyline.
12. Heading to bed early. This is a foolproof way to end a bad day, right? Sometimes you just have to call it and start again in the morning. The extra sleep never hurts, and some distance from the challenges of the day is not a bad remedy either.

I don’t doubt that we all have ways of moving ourselves forward when the going gets rough, and maybe many overlap as human coping mechanisms for us all. It’s just really good to know what ours are, isn’t it? And to understand why or when they help, too? Then when we can’t see the forest through the trees, we have some handholds that light the way for a bit until the bigger picture comes into view again.

If you’ve had a bad day, I hope tomorrow will be brighter. Today has been a bit of a rough one here, and I’m looking forward to starting again in the morning. XO,

MM