J and I were able to get out on a date Wednesday night–our first in a very long time. We both know we need to date each other more often, but life this past year and a half has been strange for everyone, hasn’t it? We’ve spent more intentional family time together in the last eighteen months than maybe ever before, and that’s a great thing. And we’ve had less time just the two of us than ever before, which, in retrospect, has been really hard. Getting out on a date meant that we drove around for a long time trying to figure out where to go and what to do…I think that’s a thing when you’re out of practice with something–it takes a little while to get back to what you know. We also managed to be out on a night when many of the beach town restaurants where we live were all closed because it was mid-week; we just didn’t know it beforehand.

In true J&M fashion, we spent half of our date night in the car. But that didn’t matter. There was no one else along to interrupt our conversation or cut off every beginning of every thought. We adore our kids, we really do. But we’ve realized more and more that we can’t get a full conversation in until it’s really late and everyone else has gone to bed, which is so tricky. Each of our kids has a lot to say and they all have a tendency of needing to share at the same time. We work really hard to make sure they’re feeling heard and seen, so we pause our sentences often. The result is just a lot of fragmented adult interactions that don’t get very far before 10pm. I’m guessing things aren’t about to get quieter any time soon with a new babe in the house, and the 10pm cutoff might not apply for a good while either. 😉 A few hours driving around alone in the car, a sit down meal with just two of us at the table and treating ourselves to dessert elsewhere to stretch the evening out a bit further were timely, healthy and good.

Four hours or so gave us the chance to cover a lot of ground. We talked about all kinds of things, but mostly, things related to life right now, our kids and our growing family. It’s funny how when you’re not with your kids, they’re a good bit of the conversation anyway. It was really helpful to have the time. And as a result, we decided we need to make sure we both get some one-on-one time with each kiddo before the baby comes. Or at least, that I need to have one-on-one time with each of them before then. Afterwards, it will be helpful for J to be able to do that with our trio for a while, and likely, everyone will need it.

This morning, E and I headed out for a few hours, “just the girls.” Or maybe better put as E said it, “the girls plus baby, whether it’s a boy or a girl.” The girls plus baby. Since I legitimately can’t reach my feet without compromise any more, we started out with pedicures to freshen up our summer toes. Goodness, that was the best 45 minutes of pampering I could have imagined today, truly. And we headed to our favorite baby/toy/kiddo clothing shop to really savor the chance to look around, then stopped to pick up lunchtime treats (a gorgeous waffle piled with fresh berries for E and avocado toast for me) at a coffee shop in town. The rest of our time was more practically spent running errands that needed to be run, but having a few hours together to talk and share little moments goes a long way as we move through these days where I’m generally feeling more preoccupied and tired. I will never regret one-on-one time with my people, and I wish I didn’t need to be reminded of it sometimes. Those intentional hours pay dividends in the days and weeks following, and I hope we’ll be able to sneak in a few more dates and a some more time with each kiddo between now and when baby comes. It’s not necessarily easy to carve out the space, but it matters.

I’m thankful for the chance to stop and see what’s right in front of me this week, in so many ways. God has honored my prayers that I could savor what He’s given me, even if I still have room to grow. The reality that He offers me more chances to try again, to do it better, to get it a little more right are tangible evidence of His graciousness to me. I hope I’ll never stop being amazed by who He is or how He loves, and I hope I’ll never stop carving out time with Him or with the people I love the most.

MM