If you live in the midwest, I’m sure you’ll agree that the weather for June and July has been rather temperate and a bit gloomier than our usual summer fare up until now. Truthfully, I haven’t minded the moderate temps, and the rainier days have provided much needed moisture for the yard and garden while also alleviating some of the pressure to soak in every outdoor moment possible. I love being outside, but I don’t love the feeling of obligation when it comes to outdoor experiences. I feel that living here makes us all carry a deeper sense of, “It’s summer! We have to soak it up for all it’s worth!” than we might feel in a climate that offers more sunshine and warm days year round. So for me anyway, the rainy days feel like an invitation to slow down, to let the kids stay in pjs longer, to offer popcorn and a movie some afternoons instead of the usual limitations on screen time. I know my kiddos don’t mind it when the day calls for stacks of books and no one laying out a schedule, and we have wet weather to thank for a little bit extra of that this summer.

This weekend it’s evident that July has decided to turn up, and it’s beautiful. It’s also hot. I love summer weather. Most of the time, give me all of the hot summer days we can afford. Even now, please bring on the sunshine. Just know that I’ll be off to find a bench in the shade at some stage. It’s funny–I’ve left the house both yesterday and today feeling such ambition to conquer tasks and experiences, and yet, my body says something else a few hours in. Mind and body are one, but also independent of each other, it seems. It’s really in the sweetness of pregnancy that I share that; I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I just have to laugh a little once I’m over my initial frustration with limitations. Once again, God says, “Be still,” and I somehow keep asking, “Can’t I go just a little bit more?”

In a sense, summer is humbling me right along with motherhood. I am so thankful to have three kiddos who have genuinely been utterly gracious with their mama all these months, and especially now. Today we were a few towns over for lunch and wandering, and when I sat down on a bench and needed to stay there for awhile, everyone got out their new books to read and waited with me. I know they’ll all be so happy to have me return to a more active version of myself, but their patience is much appreciated right now and I truly need it. It makes me hopeful that transitions with the baby can be grace-filled, too, even if they’re sometimes hard.

C is showing his feelings about so much change in new ways, and they’re mostly just really endearing. He is so careful to tell me sweet things every day, to hug the baby and say good morning and goodnight, to remind me that we call this little one, “Honeybee,” and to sit in the closest spot possible to me as often as he can. I overheard him telling someone upstairs the other day that he could be brave because now he was going to be a big brother. Sweet boy! I just love him so, and I feel for him as he sorts out his emotions without even realizing all that’s happening inside his heart and mind. He and I are going to have some extra time to spend together this week, and I’m planning to soak it up for all it’s worth. This will be a treasured handful of days for us together–another fleeting season that’s worth savoring in every possible way.

It finally feels like summer and that’s such a good thing, because it’s also a marker of time right where we are and the days we’re headed into, too. August can’t come without summer arriving, so it’s another box checked on the way to baby. Whether or not the summer of 2021 will be marked with all kinds of red letter days for our crew, we’re certainly all looking forward to a few in particular, and baby’s arrival is at the peak of that anticipation. I’m thankful for the experiences this “break” season has afforded our family; there’s a lot of transition that could be much harder with calendars piled to the brim and expectations in full measure. Instead, we’re really taking so much one day or week at a time, which feels like exactly what we all need and as much as we can all handle. Again there’s heaps of grace in that reality, even when we don’t always see it. When we look back, I hope we can say that the summer our honeybee was born was marked by slowing down, making peace with stillness and soaking up all of the natural good that God set right in front of us, no matter the weather.

MM