I had a conversation today about parenting and all of the things I’m feeling right now as I try to parent well in the midst of pregnancy at this stage. It’s easy to notice where I feel I’m lacking, not just because my capacity is more limited, but because my inner critic is frequently loud and likes to speak up about so many of the things I could do better. As we get closer to baby, I’m able to give myself plenty more grace in some areas, but I still put a lot of pressure on myself, too. The healthy perfectionist is always trying to work towards a balance of these two realities, because the pressure can be good and helpful sometimes and destructive elsewhere.

At any rate, I was sharing how I feel like I’m lacking in my capacity as a mom lately, and how I know our kiddos feel the change and have their own feelings about all that’s taking shape around them. Mom is full with baby. Mom is more tired. Mom asks for more help. Mom says no to things that have previously been a yes. Those are hard shifts when you’re 4, 7.5 and 10, and I see it all for them and am calculating the cost. At the same time that it feels like a lot for kids to weather at once, it’s part of this process. Everyone making sacrifices for the sake of the whole family feels right and necessary. Still, I’d love to be capable of more than I am.

In my conversation earlier, I was reminded that in parenting, a really great, intentional parent will still fall short of what Jesus has to offer our children. While the gap between Christ and a negligent parent is significant, the gap between a great parent and Christ is (maybe smaller but) still there, because we can never be all that our children need (and we shouldn’t try). In our humanness, we can’t fill the space that only Jesus is able to take up. Not only is it ok that this is true, but it’s a saving grace to us, too.

When we pray for our children, the power of Christ, the presence of the Holy Spirit, and the love of the Father go before and behind our families. Where we can’t fill our own gaps and misgivings, God is able–and more than willing–to mend, heal, bind up, restore and resurrect what’s broken or missing. Isn’t that the best news of the day?! Being reminded that Christ will step into the space I can’t isn’t just consoling–it’s so hopeful. Our kiddos are way better off in Jesus’s care than mine any day of the week. So then, how much more impactful is a life of intentional parenting coupled with fervent requests to God for help on this journey? When I pray over our kiddos, it’s often for things in the immediate and for aspects of life down the road that feel obvious…protection, health, guidance, future spouses, a sense of who they are in Christ, the silencing of the enemy in their hearts and minds. But then, I hope to add more of this (and I’m borrowing/modifying words from another friend here, too): “Christ, be their parent in all of the ways that I couldn’t.”

Goodness. Even just typing that is relieving, because I know He has our children in His hands, that He loves them more than I could know, and that He desires to honor every request that is pleasing to Him. God’s care for our children–especially in moments when I don’t feel I can provide the level of nurturing that I’d like to myself, is far better than what I can offer on my best day. They are cared for immeasurably, no matter what.

I’ll never hope to fall short in my calling and duties as a parent, but I know it’s impossible that I’d get it all right. As with so many other things, I make mistakes in this area of life every day. The reality of Christ, waiting to meet our children where they need, when they need it, is so comforting and reassuring. Even in the areas where our kiddos will grow up and likely be able to recall some of the hard parts of life with their mom and dad, Christ will be waiting there to heal what needs healing, to restore anything that’s been broken, and to carry them forward into the life He has waiting for them. It doesn’t get much more beautiful than that. His redemption is the only redemption we could ever need…and the kids will be alright. 😉

MM