“Life is always a rich and steady time when you are waiting for something to happen or to hatch.” -E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web

There’s definitely a balance between embracing the time we have and wishing time away when we’re looking towards something big in life. I always want to strike that balance, but it’s not without effort. As we spend these winding down days of summer, I want to make the most of our time together as a family before everyone returns to school schedules and routines. I know the whole world is feeling that way right now. This year, with baby’s expected due date on the calendar just four days before school begins, the sentiment has been so prominent in my thoughts, knowing that our summer might change at any given time and that August will be an adventurous month for our family.

The pairing of “make the most of these days” and “mom is slowing down” is an interesting one. I keep trying to find little ways for us to have memorable moments rather than big excursions, points of connection over a scrapbook-worthy summer experience. It’s a trade off that’s so worth it, and it’s also hard. Our kids are great troopers, and they go along with many of my off-the-cuff ideas as we’re traipsing through these summer weeks. I loved when our older two were at camp, where they could have a pretty idyllic week that felt like so many things we dream summer will hold. C was bummed to be “left behind” of course, but it was so, so good for H and E to get to be at camp. It felt like the very sweetest spot of summer, even though I know the very best moments are still to come.

Today we ended up forfeiting a trip to the beach with friends to wander around downtown with friends instead. It was a little more mama friendly than trekking out to sand dunes and hiking all things beachy out to a spot near the lake. I would have loved to go there (it’s truly my most centering place), but after hours of contractions last night and only a little sleep, I had to admit I wasn’t up for the challenge. Our dear and gracious friends happily shifted gears with us, and we all ended up having a few sweet hours of time together, in and out of the kids’ favorite shops (and to pick out things for baby!), down the block for coffee and treats, and across the street to run around in the grass and enjoy today’s perfect weather. It was a sweet memory we’ll hold onto, and it surely fell into the category of a “rich and steady time” while we are “waiting for something to happen or hatch.” While some in our crew might have bigger ideas of what would make summer feel fun and dynamic, I am happiest to sit with friends and enjoy the sunshine, soaking up this time as best as we’re able, before the season wanes.

When I close my eyes, I think about all of the goodness packed into this time of anticipation. I don’t want to miss a bit of it, because all of this waiting and building up to something beautiful will soon be a captivating memory instead of present day. It’s like Christmas Eve all of the time, and it keeps lasting. The richness of that is something I just savor and want to be able to recall for the rest of forever. Especially with this baby, after a long journey towards a fourth child here with us, what God is up to has been something really special for my heart, mind, body and spirit. It’s a healing process that I’ve needed, and even though I am truly craving the opportunity to hold this baby, this space will move on with a bittersweetness that I’ll hold like a treasure. This has really been and continues to be the most sacred season as I lean in and deeply desire the closeness I’ve felt to God in so many moments. “A rich and steady time,” indeed. There’s not much better.

Know, sweet baby, that I want more than anything to hold you. You’re like the very best gift on Christmas Day, and I’ve waited for, longed for, begged for the opportunity to be your mama for a long time. It’s just so special to have you tucked inside of me, too, and I will cherish every second of the time we’ve had to grow together in this way. Heaven is breaking through in a new way in our lives with you, dear honeybee. You will be everything we’ve ever prayed for, and then so many extra blessings besides.

Hatch when you’re ready, little one, and until then, know that you are safe here with me.

MM