MollyMadonna.com

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it’s on. (8)

When I started this 100 day countdown during my pregnancy with Henry, I never really thought about not making it all the way to my 100th post. That is, until I was in labor with six entries to go. I was determined then to blog that day and not miss a beat. I still don’t know if that was rash, or sensible, or just a good distraction for me between contractions. Regardless, I love having the account of that day on record, and it’s still a funny story to tell when J and I relive Henry’s birth if someone asks.

Now, I’ve been sort of teetering between just hoping and then somewhat expecting this second baby to arrive early…not just because H did, but because he was nine pounds when he made his entrance. I think it’s been easier for me to imagine that baby #2 would be early and no bigger than his or her older brother, but I know there’s not really a science to it in the end. Some second babies follow suit after their siblings. Some, not at all. Some subsequent babies are bigger, some are smaller–it’s just too hard to know for sure. Even so, I’ve been hopeful that I wouldn’t be twiddling my thumbs trying to drown out curiosity on days six, five, four…minus two. Besides, I’m just dying to know if we have a little brother or a little sister tucked in here, and the waiting is wonderful but SO hard.

As I look at the above eight day countdown, I can’t help but wonder whether baby no. 1 or baby no. 2 will carry the record for longest number of days in utero. I’m not trying to tempt this little one, but it will be interesting to see what happens. Labor and delivery seem so tangible now, and yet so far away. Every day I’m just trying to plan something that’s a distraction or a good use of time–to keep my mind off of things, and also to fit in little projects and such that I’ll be glad to have done already when I’m toting a newborn and trailing a toddler. The days ahead are sure to be marvelous and memory-filled, but probably also a bit hazy and sleepy and overwhelming at times. I know that regardless, my heart will be very, very full.

So the race is on. Will baby no. 2 outstay Henry’s residence in this belly of mine? If so, by how many days? Will I be blogging into negative numbers next weekend? Only our good and gracious creator knows, and there’s no doubt He has a plan better than any I could think up or envision on my own.

have patience, mm. have patience. maybe this will become my labor mantra 😉

molly madonna

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bump love (and single digits!) (9)

We were so blessed to have a dear friend take photos of our little family a few weeks back. It was such a fun night out at the beach, and I will treasure these images forever. I haven’t seen them all yet, but here’s a few I just adore from our time together…So excited for this little peanut to get here and join our family! We’re in single digits towards our countdown–is that crazy or what?!

DSC_5281 DSC_5328 DSC_5359 DSC_5368 DSC_5533

so smitten with the button!

mm

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err (extra rest required). (10)

In the interest of being authentic, I am simply exhausted today. It’s been a long week, and there’s no doubt that the waning countdown is contributing. Henry is an absolute bundle of energy–he must think I’ve totally lost my edge since I can’t possibly keep up. I love our little chatter box…I’m just not feeling at all chatty lately. My mind is certainly taking a break whenever it can.

I don’t remember ever being this tired when I was pregnant with H, and I worked far more back then. The toddler factor has it’s influence now–I suppose I’m more aware of it than I’d hoped. We’re so close! I just want to somehow be storing up energy to get through labor and delivery well. 🙂

If you’re the praying type, I’d covet your prayers for good sleep and energy to fill the gaps where I’m lacking. I know that God sees my need and can meet me here…and in labor when the time comes! I’d be so happy to have better reserves for Henry and everyone else around me, too.

I’m going to keep this short tonight, since I’m fading fast. Regardless of my exhaustion at the end of this day, I still meant every word I wrote yesterday! It’s a different kind of joy to press into God for strength, and I’m going to go to bed tonight focused on that very thing.

yawning through these last days, but so grateful for the reason!

mm

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the JOY of pregnancy. (11)

There is something truly remarkable about carrying an entire life inside of your own body, and this morning, as I walked downtown to pick up a cup of (decaf) coffee on my way to work, I couldn’t help but think once again just what a joy it is to be pregnant. I caught a reflection of myself in a shop window and laughed a little bit at the belly I’m toting out in front. I’ve had many an encounter with folks who want to comment on its gargantuan or petite and basketball-ish nature–no matter which Molly-belly measuring team you’re on, it’s certainly not a bump one could miss on my 5’1” frame at 38+ weeks along. And the truth is, despite some of the shockingly rude things people will say about one’s belly when with child, I LOVE my “bump” and all it contains. It’s not been a perfectly smooth road of pain free, high energy days and peaceful, sleep-filled nights, but it’s been a gorgeous journey of appreciating the growth and change as it happens and celebrating all of the love our whole family already feels for this unborn child. I’m not ashamed to be full of baby–there’s a whole human person within the confines of my tummy! What a blessed gift, and a glorious reminder of God’s faithfulness to us!

One year ago, I was still mourning the loss of our last pregnancy and wondering very much how God would redeem the hurt and struggle we were feeling as we thought about that missing babe. I trusted God, sure, but I certainly couldn’t see as far down the line as He could see–nor could I push past my own emotions to imagine a day like today. Now, just eleven days from our projected due date with the Button, I am sitting here on a crazy-beautiful summer afternoon with the breeze blowing through the windows, my two year old sleeping peacefully upstairs, and this tiny munchkin tickling my insides with its perfect little toes. I can fit into about five total items in my closet, and I could never think of a better reason to boast a limited wardrobe and weekly weight gain 🙂

I know that there are a lot of women around me who don’t love being pregnant, and an equally large number of women who do. I also know that there are numerous women in my surrounds and in the world who ache so desperately for a baby of their own, and who might read this and feel troubled by my bubbling over with delight at my current life station. My mama heart aches for those who can’t bear children themselves and desire it. My heart also deeply trusts and asks God to meet their hearts in the exact right time and place, knowing that He is the only thing that can fill a void so cavernous. As I celebrate the upcoming birth of our babe, I do not take the gift of this blessing at all lightly. Rather, I am humbled beyond measure that I could be a vessel for this particular child, and I pray that I’m always a thoughtful and careful steward of the life entrusted to us.

This afternoon, I am overwhelmed by the goodness and the fullness of this belly. I am equally moved by the number of people in our lives who already celebrate our soon-to-be-here tiny miracle along with us. It is an amazing season! I will do my best to continue to be patient for this, the second of God’s greatest surprises to us in this lifetime. In the meantime, I’m like a child on Christmas Eve, over and over and over again. I can hardly wait to see what our little bundle contains!!

radiating from the inside,

mm

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in a (honey) nutshell. (13)

At this very moment, I am eating my second smallish bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios for the day. I rarely eat cereal anymore, except, apparently, in the last six weeks or so of pregnancy (when I eat a bowl nightly to attempt avoiding 3am hunger pangs). I tried rotating in all of the super healthy, crunchy granola type cereal I’d otherwise choose, but at this point, Honey Nut Cheerios are the thing. I don’t have very many pregnancy cravings. I guess this would be the big one.

Jason is out for a run as I type this, and when he gets back, there’s Captain Sundae waiting for us in the freezer. I’m going to eat that, too…and guilt free, because we’re in the home stretch here and it sounds delicious. I pushed the dairy-free, refined sugar-free thing pretty hard for most of this pregnancy. Turns out a little slipping up here and there does not seem to impact (or cause) any re-occurring headaches at this point, so I’m cutting myself some slack. That, and my body was aching for calcium, despite all of the whole foods sources and amazing vitamins and supplements I take. Baby needs what baby needs.

And on the subject of baby, the tiniest of the bunch is currently hiccuping to get my attention. He or she has had my attention all along (and should hopefully know this by now), but this weekend has been full of attention getting behavior on the Button’s part, so it’s clear we’re gearing up for some big event in utero. I can’t imagine what that might be…

The eldest of the tiny bunch was vying for my attention tonight as well–he nearly hyperventilated upstairs from crying so hard that he “needed me.” This was not your normal cry (nor has it been for the past number of nights), but more like a full tilt panic/scream that would have any parent’s heart in a knot. We’re trying our best to strike a balance between coddling and supporting, and I think there’s a very fine line when your two year old is likely just feeling the growing pains of baby sibling’s impending arrival. H’s needs have been on this rise this past week, and as much as we adore him and want to make sure he feels loved, it’s been trying to say the least. The munchkin is now (finally) sound asleep upstairs after wearing himself out and four separate visits from mom and dad to calm things down. I’ve never learned patience to the degree that I’ve learned it in the past month. I suppose the heat had to turn up at some point as we ready ourselves for the babe on the way.

Aaaaand, lastly, as I wrap up my thoughts on the day, the nursery is 90% or more done after this weekend, and it feels amazing. I know baby wouldn’t know if it weren’t finished, but we would know, and it was getting to both of us. The only thing left is to hang the mobile above the crib and photos on the walls (and I need to go looking for a floor lamp this week if time permits). Beyond that, the projects still on the list are crafty ones that I’m committed to only if life and motherhood allow, and we’ll see what the next week or two hold. In the meantime, teensy clothes are washed, folded, and tucked into drawers, the crib is made up, bookshelves are hung and stocked full, new light fixture is in, all is in place. SO good!! Now if I would only pack a hospital bag for baby and myself, we’d be golden. Then he or she could come at any time without all of the rushing I’ve dreaded might take place. No more dreading. To do list, relatively conquered. Amen.

So that’s the report on this second to last Sunday before my due date. We’re making our way here–all of us. Each differently and dynamically, but we’re making our way.

thinking about baking a blueberry crisp, and it’s 11pm. nest much?

mm