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from the nursery. (91)

I’m sitting here with a pillow in my lap on the floor of the baby’s nursery–my first official blog post from the room where I’ll be spending most of my time in just a few short months. Jason is painting baseboard trim, and I’ve just finished taping off every doorway and window…we’re finally down to the last few hours of painting (minus the wall design) before the rest of the fun can begin.

Baby K's Crib

Last night we ordered our crib online (see photo), and according to the order summary, it will actually be here sometime this coming week! I spent this morning on the phone with my mom, she in front her computer screen and I in front of mine, comparing notes on the magnificent palate of fabrics that will soon become a crib skirt, bumper, curtain trim, tiebacks, pillows and the like. On Monday, I will place the carpet order, and within a week or two, the room will be looking cozy and ready for furniture. This is the part I’ve looked forward to the most in this whole preparation process–where we can begin adding color and flair and personal touches in time for baby to arrive.

I spent four or so hours in my closet this afternoon, sorting, folding, bagging and boxing–purging out the things I no longer need or need to store, in order to make room for baby things. (Closet storage in our new bedroom isn’t quite enough for two adults). Baby and I will share nicely in the walk-in until a brother or sister comes along someday; then we’ll just have to get really creative (or I’ll have to give up far more of my clothing selection than I’m currently willing to forfeit. One of the two:). It feels great to have most of the closet organized, with just a few more Rubbermaid tubs of old mementos and school programs and such for me to pare down.

I suppose light fixtures, shopping for a one-of-a-kind dresser and a trip to IKEA will be next on the list. We’ve got our eyes on some storage for books and toys, as well as a few thoughts in mind as to what direction we’ll go with the changing table/dresser. None of these details stress me out near as much now that we’re getting there…I was just craving this progress. Nesting? You bet I am!

Tonight, I’ll probably dig into a few more bins or trim a window and then tuck in. This mom gets tired earlier these days. Oh, and on that note: today marks the start of my third trimester! 13 more weeks and baby will either be here, or quite close. Is my enthusiasm obvious?! It’s a good thing there’s so much more to look forward to between now and then…family/belly photos, prenatal classes, time up North, baby showers, a wedding shower, the arrival of Spring, AND Easter (unless this peanut wants to come sooner). May 1st will be here before we know it.

Did I mention that I’m excited?

picking out, packing up, painting and pretty tickled about ALL of it,

mm

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life-giving conversation. (92)

You know that feeling? The one where someone has just been completely understanding, but beyond that, they heard you and reflected a resonance back? I’ve had two such encounters this week, and each time, I walked away from the conversation feeling energized, respected and encouraged. Sometimes I forget how important it is to feel that way–and how important it is to be intentional, surrounding myself with people who sync up with who I am and what I believe. It’s important to me to be that person in other people’s lives as well.

By the same token, it’s important to make time for relationships that challenge who we are and what we believe. There’s a delicate balance, I think, between this being productive and dangerous, but when we’re challenged by others, we’re given amazing opportunities to grow–not just to strengthen who we are and what we stand for, but to increase in grace and patience and Christlike love for others.

The conversations that were so life-giving to me this week were such because they revolved around something I’m passionate about–something that really, truly matters to me. And I can downplay how I feel in my mind all of the time when I come up against people who have a strong difference of opinion, or who just don’t understand my point of view. Aligning myself with people who affirm what I believe gives me clarity and the ability to step forward with courage and tenacity. I feel like the passions God has begun in me grow stronger and more steadfast, and I learn even more about who I am.

Significant life changes–like making a big move to somewhere new, shifting careers, breaking relationships, becoming parents–all of these things give us cause to stop and evaluate the life we’ve built around us. Who do we associate with? How do we conduct ourselves? What in our lives do we want to see change? To stay the same? How do we continue to become the people we feel called to be? I love this honing and refining process and how it shapes us, and I’m grateful to be in such a season at this moment.

These days, I’m seeking life-giving conversations. Friendships with people who are passionate about the things I’m passionate about, and who will love and encourage the woman in me that God is calling me to become. I’ll happily embrace the challenging, stretching interactions that cause me to grow in virtue and grace, but some of the very best relationships in my life do just that without casualty, and I’m going to embrace those first as I become a new mom. Life-giving. Not robbing, not stagnant, not stale. Instead, breathing joy and hope and grace in and out of days as we interact and do life together. The way that I believe God intended for relationship.

feeling heard. and grateful,

mm

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i left my heart in vijayawada. (93)

One year ago yesterday, I landed in Vijayawada, India. Over the course of a twelve day trip, I fell in love–with the people, the culture, the colors and the beautifully crafted textiles. I was enamored with the school children and babies and women, and with the pace of city life half way around the world. Until then, I had always thought that my heart belonged entirely to Africa. I quickly realized though, that my heart really belongs to the world; everywhere I’ve traveled, and especially where I’ve had the privilege to do ministry, I’ve left a little piece of myself behind and picked up a little piece of each place to carry along.

As I think back to one year ago and the ways that God orchestrated a magnificent plan in a very short time to make it all possible, I still can’t help but feel a sense of the miraculous in what I witnessed. God mobilized a team of eleven willing people, and then allowed us to be a part of something we could never have imagined on our own. From here to Vijayawada to Hyderabad to Mumbai and back home again, we encountered grace and the love of Christ in moments–big and small, that are far too hard to capture in one blog post. (I think my journal entries from the trip total something like 53 pages!) But on this anniversary of my first taste of India, I can’t help pay tribute to a journey that changed my worldview, my faith and my spirit for the better. I still miss it greatly, and someday, I certainly hope to return. For now, a “few” thousand words in pictures…and some of the reasons that India holds a piece of my heart:

the first school we visited in vijayawada

these kids were a riot!

such beautiful faces!

one of my favorites 🙂

amazing opportunities to pray at night...

...and all day long!

incredible beauty!

students at a rural boarding school. one of the most impacting faith experiences of my life took place here!

salwars for the last night of our time in vijayawada

look closely! a butterfly in hyderabad...this photo means a LOT to me, but i couldn't possibly explain why in a caption 🙂

women in line to be baptized as Christians. one of the most beautiful things I've ever witnessed!

boats on the Arabian sea 🙂

our team, and the infamous gateway to india in mumbai

In just over a week, another team from home will travel to India to lead worship and to love on the people of Vijayawada and a few other Indian destinations. Because baby is busy growing and we’re a bit far along for international travel, I’ll be staying home this time around. A part of me wishes I could go, and a part of me is grateful for a perfect reason to stay here. Someday, Lord willing, Jason and the babe and I will board a plane and make our way to India. Until then, I’ll remember and be grateful.

embracing the pieces,

mm

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charmed, i’m sure. (95)

It’s possible that the search is over. After weeks of browsing websites and visiting fabric stores, I think I might have happened upon THE fabric for the nursery. I had already narrowed down to some of my favorite companies, but one of them took the cake last night with a series of new patterns designed by a very creative, Molly-friendly artist. By this, I mean that every single pattern was divine in my book–the colors, shapes, angles, style–I could definitely look at them every day in the nursery; I feel like they could help to create the space I’ve been conjuring up in my mind.

Is this of utmost importance in the grand scheme of things? Nah, not really at all. But I LOVE it when the pieces come together, and especially when I feel like we’re building something that represents both Jason and me, the things we love and the type of creativity we admire. I’m really pretty tickled!

So, I ordered the charm pack last night–42, 5×5 swatches in a cute little bundle that will arrive at our doorstep sometime in the next week or so. And when it does, you can bet I’ll be running it right up to the room to check it against paint colors and to scheme and plot until it’s all hammered out. It’s just about the very best thing–that my mom and aunt are both seamstresses with amazing skills, who have willingly offered their time to create one-of-a-kind bedding for the babe. I can’t wait to watch it come to life…

If you’re curious about said bedding and material, I’m going to have to bother you to be curious a little longer. I promise I’ll make the reveal and track the progress, but until I have the order placed, I think I’ll keep it to my little old self for just a few more days or weeks. There will be photos and swatches and design plans coloring up this blog before you know it (and it’s a good thing, because baby, if punctual, is now 13.5 weeks away)!

This is one of the elements of baby preparation I’m beginning to really enjoy. Picking out the crib was a handful, and car seats and strollers are not my forte, but fabric? For the baby’s room? It’s a delight! Let’s just hope labor and delivery go as smoothly 🙂

charmed indeed,

mm

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sweet child of mine… (96)

Dear Baby,

Your mom is having one of those days, kiddo, where all I want is to be your mom, and to be through these next few months that stand between us. I don’t want to wish them away though…I know I’ll miss your flips and flops and taps–the way you make decisive movement as if to tell me something before you even have a voice.

You already make me laugh.

Yesterday, in church, you seemed so excited about the music and all of the great big sounds that I wasn’t sure I could contain you. I laughed out loud a little every time you kicked and rolled, and it made your daddy laugh, too. You do love music. When I sing, play the radio, watch a movie with a good soundtrack, you’re right there moving along. Soon, we’ll sing together at night before bed, and in the mornings when you wake up.

I’ll teach you all of my favorite songs.

Already, I would pull down the moon for you, cross oceans for you, give away everything I have for you. It makes no difference if you are a boy or a girl, little or big, quiet or loud. I love you as far and as wide as I know how.

You’ll teach me even more about love.

I can’t understand how you started out so small and now, you have eyes that can almost open and shut, ears that hear, strong arms and legs, and that little button nose. I can’t wait to meet your sweet, sweet face.

You are going to change our world.

You already have, and are doing so every day. When I look back, all of this time and the way you have filled me up will be so perfect in my memory. You are as tangible and precious and miraculous as anything I have ever known.

I am so grateful to be becoming your mother as you are becoming.

love. in the most extravagant of ways,

your mommy