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the day you were born. (day 30)

Dear Henry,

For nine months and a balance of days, you were tucked away inside of me. You grew miraculously, starting from nothing and becoming an entire, perfect and perfectly formed little baby–loved by everyone around you as soon as we knew you would come to be. Carrying you was magical; as my belly became round and full of life and movement, you captivated me with your frequent kicks and nightly hiccups. Daily, you reminded me that I was actually doing the one thing I have always wanted the most…becoming your mom.

As the weeks went by and your due date got closer, I hinted at days on the calendar and suggested (against stereotype) that you, our first born, would come early. I had my eye on Easter, and although I’m not sure how, I had some innate awareness of when you would arrive. The nearer we came to April 24th, the more your impending birth became tangible to me. My body was showing all of the right signs, and we were already working together, you and I.

On Easter morning, daddy and I got up and ready to celebrate Easter together in church. The service was beautiful, and like always, you moved to the sounds of worship music and the message, delighting me in a way only you could ever do. Afterward, we shared Easter dinner with good friends, laughing over egg hunts and enjoying the beautiful, sunny Spring weather that had finally arrived. When we got home that afternoon, I wanted to take a family walk, and so we did. We packed Kruger up in the car and headed out to a nearby trail where we could hike some stairs. I was really hoping that this would help to encourage your arrival, and together we made our way–two hundred stairs or so up to the top of the dune. Then, we wound around the trail until we made it back to where we’d started. I was tired, but happy. It was already a perfect day.

When we came home, I called your great grandma’s house to wish everyone a happy Easter. I was resting on the living room couch on the phone with her when I felt a “pop,” and I got up to tell your daddy that my water had just broken. I checked the clock–it was exactly 4:30pm. We were hoping to keep the start of labor very private, so that it would be “just us” as a family, so I didn’t even tell Grandma Donna that you were on your way. I talked to a few more people before getting off the phone, but I didn’t say a word about my contractions, which had started at the same time. By the time I got off the phone, your daddy was anxiously waiting to see how he could help and what we needed to do. I called our doula, Karlye, to let her know that things had started, and against all rational wisdom, I decided I should write one more blog entry before we settled into labor. Your daddy was very supportive as I started having surges closer and closer together. I tried to write in between, and even talked to your Aunt Bridget for a while on the phone before it was too hard to do much talking anymore. All the while, dad worked around the house to get things ready, and when more surges came, he supported me and we leaned into each other to get through them. In a matter of hours, they were coming on quick and strong.

Around 7:30pm, we called Karlye again to tell her that I was having surges quite close together. I couldn’t talk through them anymore, and I was getting nervous about how I felt. Karlye listened to one surge, then suggested that we might consider making our way to the hospital soon. Everything was happening so much faster than I thought it would! I had imagined that you would take your time, and that we’d be at home for a long while before having you, but you had other ideas. We never thought we’d feel like we were “rushing” to the hospital, just a block and a half away, but it sure felt like rushing then. When we got out of the car, I had another surge outside the Emergency room doors, and again while we waited in triage. I’m sure that everyone in the waiting room got a good show as I clung to your daddy and worked through the next few minutes.

From there, the hospital staff wheeled me quickly to the birthing center. Your dad and I had a laugh (kind of) when the man pushing me took us to the wrong floor. All I wanted to do was get out of that chair, but we made our way back down to the birth center first. Arriving there, the nurse I saw waiting for us was a friend from church–in that moment, I felt like God was saying that everything was going to be just fine–that He had it all taken care of. Even though I was already excited to know you were on your way, a huge sense of peace came over me when I saw Melissa. We made it to our hospital room around 8:30pm, and everything became very, very real. It would only be a matter of time before we welcomed you and held you, laying eyes on you for the very first time. I could hardly wait…

to be continued tomorrow, little one. love you, more than you know,

your mommy (mm)

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welcome to our world. (day 1)

Dear Sweet Henry David,

Today, April 25th, is your birthday! You are finally here, and we could not be more in love with you. You came into the world with determination and grace at 3:00am this morning, weighing in at 9 Lbs. 0 oz. and measuring 20.5 inches long. You have perfect dark hair and captivating hazel eyes, and at this very moment, we are the proudest, most delighted parents in the world. Already you’ve had the chance to meet all of your grandparents (who made a special trip from Chicago today just to see you!), and you have captured all of our hearts, just as we knew you would. You are a miracle. A tiny, blessed, sweet, amazing, glorious miracle, and we can’t wait to see what you will do in the world.

Welcome, baby boy! This has been the very best day of our lives…

the kehrer family 🙂

grandmas and grandpas.

the best day ever.

precious babe, henry david.

thank you, little one, for already enriching our family in the most wonderful way,

your mommy (mm)

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measurements. (48)

My mom and I have swapped calls and/or texts numerous times this weekend (and more than usual) for a very fun reason. It’s nursery bedding day! She and my aunt have been working steadfastly to produce a crib bumper and skirt, curtains, a recovered ottoman, and a rocking chair pillow and seat cushion, and verifying measurements along the way. Down the road, we’ll likely add a throw pillow here or there, and in honor of my bucket list, I’ll get my first sewing lesson from Mom in the way of a coordinating quilt. I can’t wait to learn with all of the delightful fabrics that arrived on her doorstep earlier this week!

Next weekend, we’ll get the chance to see all of Mom and Aunt Nancy’s handiwork firsthand, which means it will also be nursery-bound very, very soon. I could squeal with excitement as everything comes together, and I can’t wait to share photos here once it’s all in place. There are still a few “smaller” details that will join the mix over the next month or so, including artwork on the walls (yet to be determined) and a very large, white giraffe silhouette that will greet Baby K in the mornings when he or she awakes.

We’re now seven weeks away from d-day, so baby and I have been scheduling pep-talks with regular occasion. Four or more weeks, and the world is fair game. Before then, the little one better just continue to cozy up in my belly 🙂 I hope we’re in agreement on this one!

On the subject of measurements…the bump is now defining my every move and decision. Bending over? It’s nearly a thing of the past. Tying shoes? Let’s just say I’m ready for flip flop season. The good thing is, it won’t be too much longer before I can see my toes again. That nail polish color I once admired is now SO winter 2010/11…

grateful for the extremely talented women in my life, and for the extremely adorable (just guessing:) baby in my tummy,

mm

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the list. (59)

With so many thoughts as of late about what is soon to come, I find myself making a mental checklist of what I hope life will include in the next few months and years. I’ve contemplated a “bucket list” for a long time, but now it seems as fitting as ever to finally put some of those intentions and aspirations to paper. I don’t want to miss a single opportunity to be the best mom and wife I’m able to be, but I also don’t want to lose pieces of myself (or my heart) in the transition to motherhood–and into what I know will be a very new and adaptation-filled segment of my life.

So I’m going to begin it here, today, with every expectation of adding to it and crossing a number of items off of it over the next five years. I don’t want to write a list that’s committed to the rest of my life, because in my head, that seems like a long time…and my priorities might change. In the meantime, this is where I’d like to start. It feels good to be getting it out. In no particular order:

1) Become a mom. (I know. This is an “easy ” one at this point. I feel like a mom already. But it’s been on my mental list, and it will be marvelous to check off. One of the greatest, most shaping experiences of my life, I’m certain.)

2) Give birth naturally. (Time will tell, and if I can’t for some reason, I’ll make my peace with it. 5 years gives me a few opportunities though, I suspect, and I’m really, really hopeful.)

3) Travel to Italy. Absolutely a must.

4) Write and publish a book. Also a must.

5) Organize every cabinet and drawer in our house, and be ruthless about getting rid of/donate what we no longer need.

6) Scrapbook/keep a baby book for each of our children.

7) See a musical on Broadway with Jason.

8) Take a mission trip as a family.

9) Journal regularly for a consistent period of time (not including the blog).

10) Hone my photography skills enough to be valuable.

11) Finalize my doula certification (hopefully Baby K’s birth will take care of this one!)

12) Assist the births of teen moms in the area who need support, and develop a local ministry.

13) Plant a successful and flourishing garden; build a compost.

14) Introduce each of our children to God’s creation through exploration, day trips, nature, prayer, conversation and exposure to new things daily.

15) Pray over/with our child/children every night.

16) Read something valuable as a daily routine.

17) Expand and further develop my blog.

18) Pay off my college loans. This is a HUGE one, but I know we’ll get there.

19) Cloth diaper. Successfully. 🙂

20) Return to Africa and/or India.

21) Take a gourmet cooking class.

22) Learn to make fondant and decorate a cake well.

23) Craft something worth selling.

24) Take sewing lessons from my mom; procure a sewing machine.

25) Visit with family as often as possible.

26) Host a Thanksgiving in our home for people who have nowhere else to celebrate.

27) Own an iPad. 🙂

28) Further develop my freelance portfolio.

29) Finish designing a baby nursery.

30) Watch 20 of the top 100 classic films of all time.

31) Read through the entire Bible.

32) Go on a cruise with Jason to somewhere warm and tropical.

33) Regularly support a missionary family.

34) Train for and successfully complete two more 1/2 marathons.

I am currently 28, but my 29th birthday will be here shortly after Baby K is born, which means that in 5 years I’ll be 34. So I’m starting this list with 34 items in honor of my 34th birthday and the personal goal I’m setting to accomplish each of these things in the next five years. I’ll probably keep adding to the list at random, but for now, this feels like a great start. And if some things don’t pan out, other things will…I’m just feeling ambitious and hopeful and glad to have more of this written down than I did before. Want to create a 5 year bucket list with me? Let’s inspire each other.

delighted by possibility,

mm