MollyMadonna.com

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year of light.

It settled in my chest on New Year’s Day. I’d written this long list of potential focus words for myself for 2016, but not a single one felt exactly right. It had to hold meaning in more ways than one, so I’d mulled over options like margin, whole, invest, thrive, vessel, open, rest. Each of these was close to something God’s been doing in my heart, but none hit the mark until I found time alone to pray it through. When it finally arrived, it felt like it came in a whisper:

“Light.”

Light. I rolled it around in the spaces of things I’ve wished for and aspired to in this fresh new year. It feels perfect.

2016 will be a year of light for me, even though I can hardly know in this moment what the next twelve months will hold.

Marked by some of the weightier burdens I’ve ever carried, 2015 felt the opposite of light. It felt heavy, straining, bogged down. Despite my efforts to be positive about circumstances as they came, difficulties arrived one after another, and my soul got weary. I am thankful that we serve a God who can carry us through the dark, and that no matter where we are in the tunnel, He always offers us light and feet for the path.

I’m embracing this, and now I want to live in it. Light.

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Naturally, this words carries so much meaning, and I want to lean into it in all of its possibilities.

This year, I will focus on carrying things more lightly and giving the rest up to God.

This year, I will direct my energies into being a light in the world–to strangers and friends, but especially to my family at home.

This year, I will set my eyes on the light and possibilities before me, and put to rest some of the darkness that has pressed me down so relentlessly in 2015.

This year, I will aim to wake more readily with the light, and to end my days earlier to give my body the foundation it needs to be well and stay well.

This year, I will trust that Light will find me, and that there will be moments of great joy that bring healing and wholeness and hope.

This year, I will be intentional to pray light into the lives of those I love.

This year, I will do my best not to sacrifice light in my children’s lives for the sake of time or others.

This year, I will lighten our lives of things we don’t need and work to live more simply in contentment with what we already have.

And this year, I will dive into the places in the Word where “light” is found, exploring its meaning and the fullness of what God might have for me as His daughter in the year He has ordained in my life as LIGHT.

I am grateful for the confidence I can have in God’s promises to us as his children, and I am so thankful that He is attentive to us in the big and small things, even when we cannot see Him there. As I write this, the sun has just broken through an otherwise cloudy day and is shining brightly in my face–a light I cannot ignore and more confirmation that light is worthy of my attention this year.

I pray that you are settling well into the new year and finding your way, just as I am searching out mine. One day at a time. One word at a time. One possibility at a time.

love and light,

molly madonna

 

“You, Lord, are my lamp; the Lord turns my darkness into light.” -2 Sam 22.29

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farmer’s market goodness.

A few weeks back, while mollymadonna.com was in the midst of a facelift (hooray!), I had the privilege of guest-posting over at redandhoney.com. I met Beth briefly at Allume last year, and we share similar passions for health, wholeness and family. Naturally, I enjoy her blog and love that she’s welcomed me into the fold this summer.

It’s not a secret that I love the farmer’s market, nor that I frequent ours as often as possible. I love visits when I can sneak away by myself to nab the best produce and flowers in the early a.m., but I love even more to take the kiddos along and make it a regular event. As was fitting for mid-July and my first post for Red and Honey, I thought I’d share exactly why I love taking the kids on a weekly basis and the value we find in going as a family.

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Since I didn’t have the chance to share when the post was first up (construction woes over here ;), I thought I’d link it here as I get back up to speed in this neck of the woods. If you haven’t read it already, I do hope you’ll enjoy a taste of our farmer’s market…and all of the sights, colors and flavors that make it one of my very favorite places to be. Happy reading!!

still reveling in the richness of summer,

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heat advisory. (38)

Today was Wonderful Wednesday again (they just keep coming!), so naturally, H and I had plans to go the farmer’s market, among other things. I made a long-ish list of items we needed to pick up, filled water bottles with LOTS of ice, packed H’s bag, and we were off. I was determined to be out of the house on the early side, and to return early enough that we would avoid the midday heat that’s settled around these parts for the past few days.

Truth be told, the “feels like 100 degrees” week we’re having hasn’t really phased me in my pregnant state. Sure, it’s hot, but I’m honestly not terribly bothered by the fact that it’s this warm in July. It is, after all, July. And I’m not sure I feel hotter these days than I would any other summer when we’re all doing our best to keep cool in the sun. For the most part, we can be choosey about when we’re out in the heat, we can limit our exposure if necessary, and we are fortunate enough to have air conditioning at home and in both cars, so I really can’t complain. The only place that’s tricky is work, and that’s because we sit in the front, south facing windows of a very large building that is not staying adequately cooled off this season. Not much to do about that (although a dear co-worker brought fans in to cool off the space with her pregnant friend in mind. A huge blessing!) At any rate, the temps merit mentioning, simply so I can accurately recall what the weather was doing in these last few weeks of baby carrying and such. It will be fun to look back on “that July of 2013” with fond memories of a heat wave and our braving it with joy, but I digress…

The market was deliciously beautiful as always. It was also a bit less crowded than normal (presumably the heat factor), which made pushing a stroller around much more pleasant. We gathered cherries and blueberries, peaches, potatoes, and tomatoes, carrots, maple syrup, cinnamon swirl bread (hello, french toast!), whole grain bread, peppers, an onion, a cucumber, and a quarter watermelon. Oh, and a handful of dahlias and zinnias for good measure. How could any other time of year be my favorite when we have this kind of agricultural joy at our fingertips in the summertime?! Henry was delightful company, hanging onto the flowers and making conversation with the vendors. It’s just become one of our very favorite pastimes together!

Afterwards, H declared we needed a carwash, so off to the carwash we went. I have genuinely come to revel in the quiet bliss of a three point five minute car wash. Seriously, it’s brilliant. Henry is fascinated by the brushes and sponges and water and blowers, and I’m just as happy as a clam in the front seat, peeking in the rear view mirror to watch his face and enjoying the very minimal interruption from my side of things. A car wash (and a clean car) certainly make Wonderful Wednesday more wonderful.

From there, it was off to the meat market to round out our shopping before heading home. H got a kick out of asking for every last type of meat in the case, and I stocked up on good finds for dinner and grilling over this next week. I do have some thoughts to share on the meat market and some changes taking place there, but perhaps it’s best saved for another day (and not used on a perfectly good, 100 days post;) I so love being able to drive only minutes down the road for high quality, locally farmed meat from a small business, but I think that’s all about to change. That does not make Wonderful Wednesday more wonderful, but I’m just saying…

When we got home, I did the most natural thing a pregnant mom would do after being out in the heat for a few hours. I gutted the refrigerator and cleaned it out from top to bottom. Standing in the open door of a cool fridge will help you to forget how hot you may have been slightly earlier. And besides, a clean and organized refrigerator makes a nesting mama a very happy one. The project was mildly laborious, but mostly it was just fun to tackle. H helped by taking things out of the fridge to examine them, and by keeping me company with his silliness all the while. We rounded out our W.W. morning with a Skype call to Auntie B and Miss E, which makes any day better. By nap time, we had exercised a lot of energy and were both ready for a rest. The day felt well rounded and sensible (in light of the heat advisory and the need for a little grocery run and all).

The closer we get to August 25, the more determined I am to make things count. I was reminded again tonight at worship team practice to treat every day like a miracle. Because they all are. Even when it’s hard or hot or riddled with emotion. Even then. So tonight I’m thankful for another miracle. Another day of baby kicking and Henry being two and the house needing attention. I am so blessed to have all of these things to be responsible for, truly. It may be hot outside, but I’m doing my best to keep my cool indoors. Take that, heat index!

here’s to another miraculous day tomorrow!

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savoring the good. (65)

Remember last week, when I posted a few simple photos of a delightfully sunny afternoon and the uplifting lunch I shared with a handful of lovely women? My photos were mere child’s play, but the photographer talent on the Embolden Team did a much better job of capturing our afternoon together, complete with mouth-watering shots of a good deal of our menu. Read my reflection of our time together and drool over some fabulous images from the day here on the Embolden blog. The linked post does our day much more justice than I’d previously done.

How does this relate to my 100 day challenge and prep for the baby and such? Well, in a few ways, I suppose. For one, last week was a challenging week, and I was needing a bit of a pick me up (or a distraction, rather), from the discomfort I was sorting through. Enter this picturesque day, coupled with a visit from my mama, and things were quite a bit more tolerable and pleasant by the end of the week.

On top of that, I was kind of forced to work through some insecurities about my growing shape and protruding bump that I may not have faced–had it not been for needing to just overcome it and be comfortable with cameras around all afternoon. People can say some lovely things, but some majorly lack a filter when it comes to pregnant bellies, and mine always feels polarizing. Either I’m on top of the world after a social encounter and conversation about the bump, or I’m walking away scratching my head and trying to figure out how to stay positive when the world can be so negative sometimes. Fortunately for me, you kind of have to make peace with yourself to be around a camera–whether you’re in the shots or not, and the few images that I have seen from the day just make me feel grateful. Since I’m making an effort to find celebration in every aspect of this pregnancy, I think I can safely just love that there are a few photos floating around of me in my rounded out state. I’ll miss this when it’s gone.

Lastly, if and when the Button thumbs through these posts someday, I hope that he or she will glean from the above that life is worth savoring. Sometimes, you just have to take a little time out from the norm to do something that heightens your senses and makes you feel more fully alive. There’s nothing wrong with this, and in fact, I think we’d die inside a little bit if we didn’t just stop to smell the roses here and there. Celebrate the small and good and healthy things in life, babes of mine. Celebrate and savor as often as you can.

I’m so glad that we’re on this 100 day journey together, sweet little person! It causes me to take pause each day, and to reflect what is happening in my heart, body, soul and mind as we grow together. You’re doing a really great job…only 9ish weeks to go until we can celebrate the beauty of the simple things in this world side by side!

savoring whenever possible,

mm

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the dreaded orange drink (and other additives). (81)

I ventured out to the dr. today for my 28 week visit and the highly anticipated, standard glucose screen. This is, of course, my favorite medical appointment in pregnancy, because the joy of drinking 10 oz. of overly sugary, non-carbonated, orange goodness is almost more than I can stand. It’s just such a treat! As I read the label before consuming my mid-morning refreshment, I was disturbed (although not shocked) by its contents. My favorite? Natural Flavorings and Yellow 6. Really? Yellow 6? Does making the beverage orange increase any of its appeal?

For this mama, the answer is absolutely not. It’s totally perplexing to me that the healthcare industry thinks it brilliant to offer its pregnant population such an admirable choice when it comes to this kind of thing. Now, I don’t get on my whole foods/raw foods/organic foods soapbox very often, and I certainly do it with little frequency here on the blog. But. I’ve done my level best to eliminate colors by number (and other such offenders) from our diets for some time now, and (I think) for good reason. I come across articles and legislation and packaging every day that make me wonder with regularity, “What on earth is happening to our food?!” And I think the answers are terribly frightening.

I could go on for a long time about why we try to hard to keep certain things (ok, lots of things) off of the table and out of our pantry these days. Just see my kid after a whole foods based meal, versus after a few too many bites of ice cream or anything else sugary or processed. Plain and simple, it’s just. not. worth. it. At least as far as I can see it. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have the occasional treat, or that our family is the perfect picture of health at all times. It just means that I’ve grown accustomed to reading labels and taking our consumption (food, body care products, baby items, and the like) pretty seriously. I know some people think I’m a bit out there for doing so, and others are much further along the curve than I am (I generally envy their knowledge and clean living savvy). Regardless of where people are on the continuum, I think it’s super important these days that we’re all owning our health and the choices that impact it on both a daily and lifelong basis. This will continue to be a consistent effort for me in the time to come. There’s always more information available, and certainly, so much more we can do to make sure that we’re consuming responsibly–for our bodies, our minds, our communities, and the environment. So much more.

At any rate, I begrudgingly drank the obligatory orange stuff (read: garbage) that made me sick to my stomach not minutes later, and trudged on over to my appt. Try as I might, it honestly did make me a bit cranky (just saying). Quite thankfully, I “passed” the test and all of the other necessary counts for the day, and it seems as though the babe and I are fairly agreeable with one another on a physical and physiological level. Phew. Scratch that three hour screen off the list (at least this time around:).

I’m trying so hard not to be crabby about anything pregnancy related, I really, truly am. Especially after last year and now having a healthy pregnancy and a healthy baby–I couldn’t (and shouldn’t) ask for a whole lot more. So please bear with me when I’m just terribly honest and needing a space to air my baby-carrying thoughts. And please also know that I am overjoyed and still in awe of this process–as much as possible, and every day. Still, I’m human (and growing a human), and sometimes things get to you in a way that they otherwise wouldn’t sans pregnancy hormones. I think that’s alright. I want the Button to look back on these crazy 100 days entries and know that his or her mama is real, authentic, sometimes vulnerable. I actually think there’s a whole lot of health in that!

detoxing tonight (kidding!). but perhaps unwinding from a somewhat challenging and edgy day for yours truly. here’s to wonderful wednesday tomorrow–it promises to be looking up!

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Some helpful and wonderful links if you’re walking down a similar road to health (or aspiring to), or just wanting a little more info:

–Healthy Child, Healthy World

(check our their newest infographic on food and the farming industry here:

–Healthy Child’s Farm to Fork Infographic

–The Honest Company (A personal favorite for household, bath and baby products that are safe for our bodies and kiddos)

–gDiapers (There are LOTS of great cloth diapering companies and products out there these days. I just love what these guys are doing and how they approach cloth and the environment)

–Vine.com (Great place to shop products and companies with a bent towards all natural goodness 🙂

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Happy (and healthy) browsing!