MollyMadonna.com

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surrounded. (19)

Look at these days go by, each one of them bringing something new to the mix every 24 hours! This has been the hardest countdown to date, but so worth it as I look back already and see how God is alive and moving at each twist and turn.

The past few days have been hard, but then today came, and with it, a fresh infusion of grace. Time in worship this morning was cleansing and healing, like a balm over the rough places and the painful places and the fearful ones, too.

I have to acknowledge that sometimes I forget to invite God into my mess, even though He is always ready and waiting to be there. More accurately, He is already there, but leaving me space and room to find Him. There’s even grace in this, because God’s help is never forced or contrived. I have to practice reaching out (or maybe caving in)…letting walls of control or pride or bitterness or just plain humanness fall away so that I can see clearly what is real and really true about who He is and who I am to Him.

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I wanted to make sure that we could go apple picking as a family this fall before baby comes, so this afternoon, we headed out to the orchard after lunch. It was the most perfect weather day, and the time outside together–fulfilling fall tradition and just being us, was so good for my heart. We came home with plenty of apples (and apple cider, and a few *leftover* cider donuts), but better than that, we just let all else fall away for a while and enjoyed being four for a little bit longer. I needed that as much as anything this weekend.

Tonight, a sweet friend hosted a gathering of some of my favorite mamas to celebrate the baby bean over dinner and crafting and fellowship. Women who have poured into my life and into our family circled around the table together, and I felt beyond fortunate to be so surrounded by some of the beautiful relationships God has planted in my midst. I was reminded again just how faithful He has been to provide.

It was more than humbling to be loved so well tonight, and it is just the very best thing to have people around us who I know will love this baby when he or she arrives, too. There’s no way we could raise our little ones without the support of amazing friends and fellow parents on this adventure, and having people in our lives who uplift us and celebrate joy with us is one of the most beautiful gifts to me.

I treasure these women!!

I treasure these women!!

Surrounded is the exact right word for how I feel today: surrounded by God, by our family unit, by our amazing friends…and the timing couldn’t be better for any of that. Tomorrow begins a new week and another step closer to meeting our babe. I’m so thankful that I can be a part of the story that God is weaving for this new baby and his or her life. More thankful than I could ever really say.

I’ll sleep well tonight, I think, falling into bed with a sense of peace that didn’t seem quite as tangible before. This is the beauty and the result of generosity and kinship, truth and worship, intention and perfect timing. What incredibly gracious gifts!

may we all feel so surrounded, exactly when our hearts need it most,

mm

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rainbows and unicorns. (40)

When Eloise asked for a rainbow birthday party a number of months ago, I wasn’t sure it would stick. But as party time got closer, she kept up with rainbows and pointed them out everywhere. I was so thankful for a simple theme in a season when throwing a party at all was going to be a little more of a stretch than normal.

It isn’t hard to find rainbow colored items–not especially as the 80s have made their comeback and Lisa Frank type styles are everywhere. I didn’t buy much, but a few cute things that would be fun for details and some rainbow crafts for entertainment for our younger guests. I opted for an email invitation to keep things as simple as possible, and found a cute one on Minted’s beta evite site. As it’s in beta, the invites were free to send. Perfect.

With invitations out to Eloise’s requested guest list, I didn’t fuss around much with planning until the party got much closer. Pregnancy and a busy summer just didn’t leave room for fuss, and that worked out well. I picked up Crayola school supplies (so easy to grab at this time of year) and stumbled upon packages of blank notebooks in a rainbow variety pack at Target for favors. I love making favors, but that plan was out this time around. These did the trick quite nicely:

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For food, a rainbow theme is amazing. Tons of fruits and veggies in rainbow order on trays are just about the simplest, healthiest option available, so I ran with that. I had a saint of a friend stand in my kitchen, slicing and chopping, for three hours the day before the party. Thank heavens for amazing friends and willing hands to help. Throwing a party for thirty takes a small village even if it’s a simple party, but especially when I’m this pregnant. I love how colorful the table was, and how easy to plan, too.

Besides the fruit and veggies, I wanted the food to be all things Eloise likes, so I decided on salami and turkey sandwiches, rainbow pasta salad, pickles, chips and salsa, and popcorn (clouds) to round out the menu. I almost always do drinks in large dispensers, but that calls for cups and drink prep and often, messes the day of the party. Canned Izze sparkling juice, juice boxes and bottled water (with some rainbow unicorn Duck tape for fun) made the drink menu a simple, colorful one.

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When it comes to birthday parties, one of my favorite parts is planning a centerpiece worthy cake. I’ve only made a few myself, and this year, when Eloise requested rainbow pies, I was a little stuck on how to make that happen. Then, last week, she changed her mind and asked for rainbow cake and ice cream, making things a little easier to implement (minus the last minute change and searching around for a bakery that could accommodate a dairy free cake on late notice). Eloise and I ran through photos on Pinterest briefly and took a handful of Eloise-approved designs to the bakery. They thought this design was most doable, so we ordered it up (“with pink where the red is”-Eloise). I’m so happy with how it turned out, and equally as thrilled with how it tasted. Turns out everyone loves a good DF/GF cake! We went with vanilla ice cream and vanilla almond milk ice cream for the DF crowd, and everyone was happy. Simplicity for the win.

For decorations this time around, I planned on bright flowers from the farmer’s market (our Saturday morning market makes this an easy choice every time), balloons, buntings reused from Elle’s first birthday, and some rainbow lights I’d grabbed for $3 a strand at Target. I always decorate our easel with a birthday sign, so that was on the agenda, and then Eloise spotted some stick-on gems at Hobby Lobby that inspired a sparkly number “3” for the food table.

When we figured out mid-week that the party would likely have to shift from an outdoor affair to an indoor one, I started brainstorming on simple ways to add more color inside. I kept most everything the same, but added two simple buntings at the last minute that were super easy to implement and ended up looking really fun. I’d stopped at Lowe’s with the kiddos earlier in the week to pick up paint chips for a possible indoor party craft project, and after cutting them for the craft, decided that some would be relegated to bunting status instead. I would do this again in a heartbeat. SO easy and colorful!

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Indoor activities were a little more challenging in my head at first, since I’d planned on a piñata, a ball pit, bubbles and a few other large muscle activities for our outside event. Not all of those would fly inside, but we improvised and managed to make things work. Our non-adult guests ranged in age from 1-9, so I thought indoor entertainment would be more challenging. Turns out a craft table, a mess of ball pit balls in the playroom, an indoor piñata extravaganza and a highly entertaining balloon artist/face painter do the trick. The party lasted about two hours, and the kids were amazing. No one seemed overly bored, few tears were shed, and best of all, no one got hit with the whiffle ball bat as it swung in tight quarters through the living room. 🙂

Our crafts were super simple and not at all messy: scratch off rainbow hologram sheets from Hobby Lobby (24 for $3.99, or less with your 40% off coupon), paint chips turned bookmarks with rainbow stickers, crayons for decorating, and rainbow washi tape, and best of all, Wikki Sticks in rainbow colors. The kids had a blast with these, and they designed shapes and creations that went up all over the house throughout the party. The wax sticks cling to just about anything, but leave no color or residue, so they were a fun addition to the decor and a breeze to clean up. I would order them again any time (thank you Amazon Prime for filling this last minute, rainy party need).

I have to say, of all the parties we’ve thrown for the kids, this one turned out to be one of my favorites. In spite of the rain (and let’s be real, the two tornado sirens that went off during the party as well), everyone seemed to have a good time. The birthday girl was happy, our friends were gracious and accommodating about the space and the rainy weather, and it truly felt like a celebration, which is really all I could hope for for our sunshiny, rainbow-y girl as she turned three.

I learned a thing or two about simple being best (you’d think I’d know by now), and also learned the value of a good entertainer when you have a house full of kids on a very wet day. Balloon animals and pink kitty cat faces for the win, I tell you.

There are traces of the party still coloring up the house in corners, and I love that. Lingering birthdays are the best kind of birthdays, and go with the flow parties are the best kind of kid birthday parties, too. I’m so thankful for all of the many hands that helped to make the day a smooth one, for the friends and family who came to celebrate, and for the chance to rest well at the end of the day, with plenty of great memories to last for a long time to come.

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Rainbows and unicorns were not on my radar, but Eloise was as sure as could be. And I’m so very glad 🙂

celebrating another red letter day for the books,

mm

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life is not a fairy garden…

…but it’s nice to let our minds go there every once in a while, isn’t it? To tap into our inner child, to get down to a world at eye level and to create something, even if it’s kind of frivolous in a way?

It’s spring break here this week, and I wanted to interject a little bit of off-the-beaten-path kind of fun into our days at home together, so I signed us up for a fairy garden class this morning. You’d think that having preschool only three mornings a week wouldn’t change much, but truly, I’m realizing the impact of time missed at home when we’re out three mornings for school and a fourth for ballet. I’m quite enjoying the slower pace of these past few days (minus the extra squabbles), and I’m anxious for summer to allow us a similar kind of breathing space, if only with sunshine and warmer days to go with it.

At any rate, and as with so many things in life, my vision for this morning’s class was awfully idealistic. We’d get downtown early, maybe go for coffee first, sit nicely together at a table and create these etherial little spaces as a great mom/kiddo/sibling bonding experience. It seemed like the sweetest extra to add to the middle of our week, and it gave us all an outing to look forward to together.

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Naturally, Eloise is trailing a cold and woke up early with a sad cough. I brought her into our bed for a snack and Daniel Tiger on the iPad so that I could sneak in “just a few more minutes” of sleep. Only I didn’t sleep for just a few more minutes. I slept another hour. (It’s gloomy and rainy today, and also spring break, so that’s fine, but…) When mom doesn’t get her day going at the right hour, no one does. By the time we left for our fairy garden workshop, we’d hurried parts of breakfast, battled a nasty squirrel at the window birdhouse no less than a dozen times (should have taken video…), and exchanged frustration in ways I just can’t get excited about as a mom. With three strong personalities around here on a given weekday, we’re navigating new communication waters and having to set new boundaries for all involved. It’s just not very pretty. Nope. It’s not fairy garden like at all.

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So we arrive downtown (even a few minutes early) and get wrapped up in tiny bird houses and miniature things that fairy garden dreams are made of, and for a time, everyone in our crew is co-existing happily again. We get instructions, choose “vessels” and succulents to accompany our miniature delights and we get to work. There are a dozen of us or so, in a smallish space, everyone looking for the perfect accessories to create these tiny, happy little worlds. It’s dreamy. And a bit messy. And good.

Henry has enlisted the help of a shop employee, so I’m busying Eloise with spooning dirt into her self-selected, pale blue tea cup. We’ve picked out a plant “with pink on it!”, a pinwheel, a tiny duckling and, to Eloise’s delight, a squat and adorable pink pig. No fairies here. This garden is all about the farm. Perfect for her in every way.

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Henry’s garden is tall and green. A soft-leaved succulent at it’s center, there’s a bird house, a nest with eggs, a yellow bird, blue stones, and a must-have glow-in-the-dark lightning bug. We moms, we can’t say no to these things when we’re trying to facilitate a dreamy outing, and let me tell you–there’s apparently nothing dreamy about leaving your fairy garden without a lightning bug. Obviously.

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I think things got sticky when I decided that a trio of fairy gardens would look sweeter than a duo in the bay window at home. I did this, partly because these tiny little worlds are adorable, and partly because I wanted in on the fun, too. The kiddos were nearly done with their gardens when I started to build mine, so naturally, their only option to pass the time was to fall off chairs and run around in tiny spaces. Yep. Those feel like winning ideas to two and almost-five year olds. And so, run they did. While I’m quickly putting together a teensy fairy world and trying to find a zen moment in the day (interpret my use of “zen moment” loosely), Henry and Eloise are acting their age and having a great time. In minutes, I’m admittedly getting frustrated, embarrassed, edgy. These kinds of emotions I do not equate with potting plants and creating beautiful tiny things, but alas.

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We have our gardens wrapped up to go home, each carefully packed into it’s own bag with colored tissue that delights the wee ones as we grab our things to make our exit. But before we can go, the littles need a potty break (and/or diaper change), so we hold off on rain coats and bags and get ourselves sorted out while engaging in further shenanigans and delightful behavior.

I leave the store with two energized and excited kiddos, each swinging their dirt-filled glass and ceramic containers in brightly colored bags and exclaiming goodbyes to the sweet women who have patiently orchestrated our crafty experience. And while I should probably be happy and lighthearted about the whole thing, I drive home cranky and praying for new eyes and a refreshed spirit before we pull back into the driveway, a mere five minutes down the road.

The fact of the matter is, whether we have two kids or seven or none at all, some days just aren’t going to meet our expectations. Many won’t, in fact. In my case, it’s usually because my expectations are too high to begin with, or because I don’t leave enough margin for breathing space. I thought I was getting better at this, but the kids are both at new stages again, and I feel like I’m learning them anew while I go through new stages myself. We’re all a little green in this season.

Sometimes I imagine the dreamiest scenario and know wholeheartedly that it’s not likely to turn out that way, but I still don’t completely let go of the loftiest version. Sometimes I get so fixed on a detail that matters a great deal to me, and I gain tunnel vision toward that thing until I can figure out how to make it happen or I realize too far down the line that it’s time to let it go. There’s merit in my glass half full approach to many things, and merit in the fact that I’m determined and I like a challenge. But I’m not sure that this season of life–with small children running around and so many factors outside of my control, is the right season to have such high expectations of myself or the little people looking up at me. 

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There are three very sweet and very individual, tiny fairy gardens sitting in the bay window this afternoon, and the kids are proud of their work. My little creation probably delights me just as much, mostly because in the craziness and busyness of life, I think there’s value in getting your hands a little dirty, in slowing down to notice the smallest treasures, in getting down to things at eye level. Surely, our fairy garden experience has caused me to get down to my own little world with different perspective this afternoon.

Art and creativity, the opportunity for sweet outings and time with our children–none of these are things I take for granted. Not a bit. The charmed things in life are exactly that: charmed. And while I lamented (for a little while) today over behaviors and strong wills, I am also celebrating the reminder that Henry and Eloise are creative and visionary and determined in their own ways. They genuinely enjoy each other and all of the chaotic joy they manifest together, and they know that they are deeply loved in both significant and frivolous ways. How’s that for a spring break takeaway on this rainy Wednesday? 😉

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I don’t get it right all of the time. Hardly at all. But I do try, and I’ll probably keep on trying. Meanwhile, if you need me, I’ll be dreaming about tiny, quiet spaces and/or playing referee. They’re basically one in the same these days.

xo,

mm

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letting go and as you go: the art of graceful Christmas living.

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This post was written by guest contributor, Sarah Bragg.

The Christmas cards that we receive in the mail are one of my favorites parts of the holiday season. On one hand, I love them because they’re actual mail that awaits me in my mailbox, but on the other hand, I love those cards because of the people and stories they represent. Every family is different. They all have different stories. Most of the cards reflect the smiles and display the easy moments from the past year. They don’t typically capture the imperfect, difficult parts.

It’s not bad to put our best foot forward, but sometimes its easy to look at those cards and see a perfect family. And consequently, to look at our own family and believe we don’t measure up.

We all tend to have an image in our minds of what the perfect family looks like. This is the family who doesn’t fight. Coordinates their clothing. Has toddlers who were potty trained by two. Has tweens who are pleasant every waking moment. Their house smells of gingerbread cookies. And they do Advent family devotionals every day.

We can look at these images in the mail or on social media and wonder how in the world anyone has time to do all the things in December when we’re barely coming up for a single breath each morning.

To me, graceful doesn’t mean perfect. Graceful seems to be fluid, able to move, able to change positions with ease.

There are no perfect families. There are no perfect people. Maybe Graceful December is about letting go of the perfect picture of what you should be doing this season. Maybe its about letting go of the expectation of who you are and what you do. And maybe being graceful is about doing something as you go.

Maybe it’s about letting go of what your house should look like (e.g. It should be fully decorated including mini wooden snow skis and a sled by the fireplace.) Our front steps are bare. We have to skip garland because our cat eats it all. We have minimal decorations up in our house–not because of any reason other than I need things to be simple in life right now. The reality of life for us is chaos, so decorations are something I needed to let go. Its okay that our tree looks like a 5 year old decorated it, because she did! It’s not perfect, but it’s beautiful.

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Maybe being graceful is about letting go of what your family should be doing together. We look around and see all the people doing Advent devotionals and crafts with their families. And you want to do Advent because you want to bring the real meaning of Christmas to your children so badly, but you just can’t seem to do it. I get it. I have great intentions and fail every year. Give yourself grace.

I am going to go ahead and raise my hand here. We aren’t doing Advent this year. I give you permission to relax. Maybe instead of doing some elaborate craft (because crafting with toddlers is elaborate!), you simply set up a nativity scene and talk about the characters. I overheard my 5 year old playing with our Little People Nativity set. She performed the wedding ceremony of Mary and Joseph saying, “You may now kiss the bride.” Then, she pressed the button to play “Away In A Manager.” Adorable, right? As you go.

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You don’t have to do bible readings everyday, but you can incorporate the truths of Christmas as you go. My nearly 8 year old thought Moses was Jesus’ father. I have a seminary degree and my child is missing key components of the story. But you know what, it’s okay. She will get it one day. Isn’t that being graceful—fluid and able to move with ease? We will talk about the actual characters of the story as we go.

Maybe graceful is about letting go of what you look like.

Maybe you put so much pressure on doing all the right things for your kids, their classrooms, their teachers or your friends that you have placed an unattainable expectation on yourself. Extend grace to yourself.

Allow yourself to take in the wonder of the season. Do something that feeds your soul.

Last Sunday, we decided to not go to church. No one was sick. The weather was pleasant. But sometimes we need to let go of of the expectation of going to church every Sunday—even in December. That day, it was better for our family to be home. The girls built a fort in their room while my husband and I read books by the fire. My soul was refreshed.

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Graceful December is about letting go of perfection—letting go of expectations. Embrace an attitude of ease. I officially take the pressure off of you. Leave room to move this Christmas and to be inspired. Leave room to breathe.

Because maybe, just maybe, God wants to do something graceful in you.

And Graceful December is about experiencing Christmas as you go. As you go, let the wonders of this season bring up the truth that God loves us so much that He gave us the greatest gift.

 

 

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Sarah is in her mid-thirties striving to keep her head above water while seeking to live a life with purpose. She is married with two beautiful (busy) girls. She worked in full-time ministry for more than 10 years. Before having kids, which left her wondering how to connect words to form a complete sentence, she graduated from Dallas Theological Seminary and authored the book, Body. Beauty. Boys. The Truth About Girls and How We See Ourselves. She is currently the Lead Editor for XP3 Middle School at Orange. She could spend countless hours decorating, drinking coffee, on Instagram and perusing Pinterest. She creates over at SurvivingSarah.com and you can find her on IG as @sarahwbragg.

I met this beautiful mama and kindred heart at Allume just a few months back. Perhaps the most wonderful thing about attending a Christian women’s writing conference is meeting like-minded, thought provoking friends we wouldn’t otherwise have the privilege to know. I love Sarah’s heart for her family and for keeping things real in a gracious way. She has an amazing eye for design and an obvious passion for ministry. If only we didn’t live a great distance apart…it would be so fun for our lives and kiddos to intersect in daily life. Thankful for the way something as abstract as the internet can bring us together and keep us connected! As you go today, friends. xo, molly madonna

 

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words to speak.

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I have loved words my whole life. Books, poetry, song lyrics, inscriptions, conversations, prayers. Not yet realizing their power, words shaped me from an early age and became a part of me at my core. I spent my time telling stories, keeping journals, reciting Shel Silverstein at the top of my lungs for anyone who would listen. (We have video of the latter, and it’s fairly embarrassing.)

Each time I sat down to write, I felt good about putting pen to paper. I had created something. It always welled up from somewhere unknown and bubbled out of me, onto the page and into the world, whether anyone else would ever read it or not. Looking back, I had no idea I’d ever write to share thoughts intentionally with others. I had no inkling of a space called mollymadonna.com. I knew I wanted to write books somehow, but I didn’t know how I’d ever walk that path.

Over time, I grew up. My words did, too.

Fastforward to now, and I am constantly exploring the power of words–written and spoken–in my adult life. I have more influence than I’ve ever had, if only because there are two precious little people who cling to my words and depend on them to shape how they feel about themselves, about each other, and about the world, every, single day.

The weight of responsibility that I feel to love well through words grows greater all of the time. Recognizing how much my own words and their delivery matter to our children continues to stretch me as I evaluate my communication with everyone I meet.

Sometimes, I get these words just right, and quite often, I get them woefully wrong.

When I speak out of urgency, frustration, worry or exhaustion, no one gets the best version of me. I know that I’ve been entrusted a voice that I might steward it well, and I’m challenged on many days to refine and revise and edit–just like I did writing papers all through high school and college.

As it is with so many things in life, honing words in person or in print are muscles I need to exercise regularly to keep fit. The way that I speak to Jason, our kiddos, or the customer service agent on the other end of the phone actually makes a difference.

I have the ability to speak life or death every time I open my mouth…every time I pound out letters on the keyboard.

I love the weight of this responsibility, and yet I find it one of my greatest challenges. There are moments every day when I have to work harder than I’d like to admit to speak life-giving words. And there have been so many times when I know my words weren’t life-giving at all. Human nature, I realize, but I’m working hard to shift this reality to something better–something that could honor God and be found worthy of His affirmation.

This is why #gracefulDecember comes as no surprise to me now, for such a time as this.

There just isn’t room in this broken and hardened world for me to take liberties with my words.

I know we live in a time and culture defined by individuals pursuing freedom of self expression and the right to “be” whoever and whatever they want to be. I know that the popular thing to do is to preach tolerance and self-discovery and carte blanche on everything, everywhere. And I disagree.

If I expect that I might have an impact or influence on my children or the world, I am also going to be sure to set my words and actions on something foundational, moral, Biblical, and perhaps, unpopular. I did some deep digging and self-exploring for a handful of years when I was younger, and  where I ended up in that pursuit was unhappy, unfulfilled, mad at the world and confused. I thought maybe my own way was a better way, so I turned my back on Truth for a while to find it.

Thank goodness words and story win my heart every time, because the story at the end of that path would have been a dark and dreary one, and the story God was moving me to return to is full of light.

Pursuing the story of Light in a darkened world is not a small or easy choice, but a redemptive one. This is why I’ll keep loving words and trying to love others through them, too.

In the midst of a busy holiday season, there are pressures on everyone that don’t exist at other times of the year. There are pressures we don’t see when we’re brushing past others in the grocery store after work or in the hallway at school drop-off.

Some people are coasting on the sheer joy of the holidays, but I’ve not met too many of those. Most of us are doing our best to be joyful, to be “Christmassy,” to live in a spirit of giving and charity and hope–all while juggling things beneath the surface or behind the scenes that we don’t share in the check out line or out loud at a holiday party.

As we wander through this season of Advent, moving ever-closer to Christmas and the hopeful light it casts on any of us waiting to receive it, let’s not forget that this time of year brings so many other things to light, too. Loneliness. Loss. Heartache. Financial burdens. Challenging family dynamics. Time constraints. Deep, hard-to-face emotion.

Our words have power–perhaps more in this vulnerable holiday season than at any other time of year. Let the words that we have for the world and for one another be filled with grace in these precious days. We must hold them thoughtfully and offer them up with the hope that, if only for just one person, they might speak light and life in this graceful December.

“May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer.” Ps. 19.14

celebrating this, my 500th post to you, and the opportunity you’ve afforded me to share the words on my heart, here in this space, for so long. may they always speak in a way that honors, uplifts, encourages, and gives life!

molly madonna