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one week. (day 7)

How did a week go by so fast? This time last Sunday, Jason and I were laboring at the hospital with our doula and a nurse in the quiet, dim light of our hospital room, and Henry was steadily making his way out into the world. There have been so many times today when we’ve looked at the clock and said to one another, “A week ago right now, we were…” The day is so clear to me, and I hope never to forget all of the intimate and important details. We both wish that we could bottle up every bit of that memory–of us together, working as a team, and of the anticipation and rhythm and pace with which our family became three instead of two. There isn’t a single thing that we would change about our birthing experience. Hopefully, I’ll be able to better articulate some of the reasons why in a post before long (and before I forget anything significant).

This week has been such a blessing in so many ways, and it’s also been a whirlwind . I look at the clock in moments and can’t believe how a day has gone by. I look at Henry, already growing, and can’t believe that I have a little boy to hold and love and care for now. Our time in the hospital was so wonderful, and our time at home has been equally so. Despite multiple challenges…a lack of sleep, a completely different schedule, Henry’s total dependency on mommy for food, juggling the baby back and forth between two sets of hands, wanting to be ready and available for visitors, me being sick the past few days and of course, healing from delivering a 9 Lb. baby…we’re not doing poorly at all. It was a relief to have grandparents here this weekend who could be extra arms for baby holding, who consoled and lent wisdom and encouraged in all of the right moments, and who graciously cleaned and took care of meals and offered us a nap time, just J and me, last night. I had no idea how much I could or would lean on help when it is offered, but God continues to provide everything we need at every turn; we are reminded again just how faithful a God we serve as we care for the precious babe He has entrusted to us. This little boy is so loved and so covered already–and it is overwhelmingly and amazingly beautiful to have a front row seat as we witness each blessing that comes his (and our) way.

A week in, parenting has humbled us, broken us, shaped us and encouraged us. It has given us a renewed sense of purpose, a heightened desire to work as a team, and a fresh perspective on just how much we need God, each other and the people around us to best provide for and love Henry day by day.

Henry, dear, you were still in my tummy a week ago; now, you have captured our whole world with your BIG presence in our lives. It isn’t that we weren’t taken with you before we knew you, but we are so much more in love with you now than we could have ever imagined possible. Happy 1 week to you, sweet boy. In seven days time, you have become our favorite everything!

Snapshots of another bright day with the peanut:

still taking it all in,

mm

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unmistakable. (day 4)

Here at home, in the quiet of this space that has begun to feel so sacred between Jason and Henry and me, I am drinking in every sound and moment and memory and action that takes place. Already, I feel as though I would recognize any detail about our son–in any room, among any crowd, anywhere. His scents and cries and toes and fingers are magically cemented in my mind, like a thousand little finger prints in a mental registry that will always be Henry’s to me. I cannot get enough of this little person; I’m fairly uncertain of what we ever did without him, because everything suddenly feels exactly as it was always meant to be.

It’s true that we’re tired and trying to figure out all of Henry’s needs and wondering minute to minute whether or not we can get everything right…as parents, we’ll spend the rest of our lives this way out of love for our first child and for those to come. And we are learning so much with every turn. We listen for breaths and pray over each moment; we suspend ourselves above these past few days, wishing that we could stop time and freeze each one for all of the amazing discoveries and memories–and for the overflow of abundant love we’ve never experienced like this before. The memories will be forever forthcoming, sure, but these have to be among the sweetest, as we are learning each other. This precious, precious baby is teaching us so much about who we are and who he is and who we want to be, together. Henry is unmistakably, absolutely, permanently and perfectly, ours.

A few more favorites from another beautiful day:

Today is also significant because it marks what would have been the 83rd birthday of my grandfather and Henry’s namesake. Born just three days before this date on which we remember the remarkable and kind person my grandfather always was, Henry surely makes today all that much more special to me now that he’s here. We are utterly blessed by his presence in our world.

exceedingly in love,

mm

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welcome to our world. (day 1)

Dear Sweet Henry David,

Today, April 25th, is your birthday! You are finally here, and we could not be more in love with you. You came into the world with determination and grace at 3:00am this morning, weighing in at 9 Lbs. 0 oz. and measuring 20.5 inches long. You have perfect dark hair and captivating hazel eyes, and at this very moment, we are the proudest, most delighted parents in the world. Already you’ve had the chance to meet all of your grandparents (who made a special trip from Chicago today just to see you!), and you have captured all of our hearts, just as we knew you would. You are a miracle. A tiny, blessed, sweet, amazing, glorious miracle, and we can’t wait to see what you will do in the world.

Welcome, baby boy! This has been the very best day of our lives…

the kehrer family 🙂

grandmas and grandpas.

the best day ever.

precious babe, henry david.

thank you, little one, for already enriching our family in the most wonderful way,

your mommy (mm)

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take a hike. (6)

Today has been a lovely day. We started out with an easy morning before heading to church for an incredibly beautiful, spirit-filled service. A friend of ours was baptized today, so there was an added significance to an already most-significant celebration. Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! It’s hard not to be overwhelmed by Easter and all that it means, but the overwhelmingness of it all is one of the most refreshing, cleansing feelings I know…Christ and his life and death and sacrifice come together and culminate in the Resurrection, and I can’t think of anything more joyful!

After church, we joined dear friends and their family for a wonderful Easter dinner. Not wanting to wander too far from home these days, we were so thankful to have some of our favorite people to celebrate with–even though it’s bittersweet not to be with family on a holiday. After a great meal, we had a few laughs as the little ones took on an outdoor Easter egg hunt. It’s been a long time since we’ve been around kids on a holiday, and there’s truly nothing better than enjoying their excitement with every little toy and each successful discovery. The egg hunt lasted nearly an hour, because every time someone would turn away from their basket, more eggs would magically appear in the yard. “I think the birds keep droppin’ Easter eggs!” was the three year old’s conclusion. And drop they did, until it was time for dessert and everyone had had time to soak in the sheer delight and energy of the hunt.

Not long after, we came home to take Kruger on a pre-promised walk/hike. We know he’s a dog and all, but he never seems to forget when we mention a walk–and besides, I determined a while back that if baby wasn’t here by this weekend, we’d give a hike and some stairs a go, just to see what might happen. So we headed out to a lovely trail with a massive staircase not far from home. The verdict is still out yet on whether stairs do the trick for me, but we had a great time enjoying the weather and watching Kruger sniff every tree trunk and branch along the way. The stairs, I’ll admit, were a challenge, but a good one. There’s nothing quite like a bit of blood-pumping exercise to make you feel accomplished–especially when 39 weeks pregnant. We made sure to capture the moment, just for kicks. The ridiculousness of me climbing a mountain of stairs is below…wouldn’t want you to miss it 🙂

The rest of the evening was spent catching up with family over the phone, taking care of a few things around the house and enjoying the fact that we’ve had such a great weekend together (movie at home Friday night, a relaxing day yesterday, date night out last night, and then a glorious day today). After all of that, it’s hard not to look forward to the days ahead and whatever this week might hold. Here’s hoping!

kruger and i, all set to hike.

stairs!

here goes nothin'!

on our way up.

feelin' fine!

almost to the top.

the last few.

whew we made it! and look at that view!

baby takes a hike.

kruger and dad. SO handsome!

joyful,

mm

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feathering the nest. (8)

I lived in yoga pants today, and the beauty of it is, it didn’t matter a bit. True, I wore jeans to the coffee shop this morning and as I traipsed around town for a while, but I was home and comfy before noon, and it was lovely. I’m finally starting to feel like I can settle into the last few days or weeks of this pregnancy without the stress of other things bearing down. I took my time doing laundry today and cleaning here and there, but there was no rush. I napped briefly this afternoon, but mostly, I wandered around the house and pondered how things are going to change. I talked to the baby. I read for a time. Tonight, we curled up with a movie and listened to the storm brewing outside. And tomorrow, I just might do the same.

In all of this waiting, I’ve had every urge to clean and sort, to fold and re-fold, just like everyone always says will happen when baby is getting close. I want to vacuum every crevice, eliminate every dog hair and sanitize every surface. But our house has never been completely perfect before, and it won’t be when baby gets here either. Inevitably, the little one will come when there are a few dishes to wash or a few floors to sweep, and that’s ok. Actually having the time to take care of details as I want to has given me an amazing sense of release. This is exactly what I hoped for, and what I want most as baby gets closer.

There is no amount of cleaning or sprucing or perfecting that will be as good for the baby as a healthy mom who is well-rested, de-stressed and ready for some of the most physically demanding days and weeks ahead. I’m so thankful for some time to find peace, and to lean into the quiet. Suddenly it feels like everything will fall into its own place the way it needs to around here, and suddenly, I don’t mind if everything is not in its place. I’m sure I’ll still keep striving as energy permits, but the change for me is that I don’t feel so pressured or burdened by what is left undone. Baby must be grateful for a momma who is finally settling down.

Week 40 begins tomorrow, and with it, great anticipation–not only for baby, but for my favorite holiday of the year as Easter is upon us. I love the reverence of this season and all that it represents. Perhaps we’ll hatch a baby on Easter morning, but if not, we’ll focus our celebration on the resurrection of Christ and the sacrifice that has been paid on our behalf. There is so much to look forward to at this time of year!

On the subject of nesting and this glorious season, I came across this piece today that is hardly resistible…if only we had an unencumbered art budget for the nursery walls:)

Baby Bird Collage on Wood

There are giraffes and elephants of the same variety. Naturally, I’m completely smitten with all of them.

Oooh, and one more thing. Although the original end date for this contest was set for today, it has been extended until Monday at 11:59pm PST. Which means…I’d still SO appreciate your votes and comments here, if you’re feeling so inclined. Every little bit helps!

back to feathering (or maybe a feather bed:) for me,

mm