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wonderful wednesdays. (80)

Um, 80. 80! I’m on the fence today about how fast or slow this baby is making his/her way into the world 😉 I’m so amazed at the whole process, and tonight, I really can’t decide if I’m thrilled by our 11 week countdown, or slightly panicked–there’s so much to do! Perhaps I’m experiencing a healthy combination of both, and a sense of urgency that will be enough to motivate me in my productivity for the next several weeks. Goodness knows I’m not going to be running around here with a toddler-like energy two months from now. (Although if you know me, you might call my bluff on this. I sort of get a thrill out of working under pressure to make everything come together at the exact right moment. It’s the party planner in me, I think.) Regardless, we’re having a baby! I’m super excited to be mama to two, and to get to explore the world with big brother H and our newest little munchkin!

A few weeks back when the farmer’s market officially came to town for the Summer/Fall season, I decided that Henry and I needed a little something special to mark the days and weeks until baby’s arrival. As much as I’m thrilled to be a family of four, I also know I’m going to miss our mommy and Henry times, when we head out and have little adventures all to ourselves. I get a little choked up just thinking about it. You can bet I’ll still prioritize those moments after we’re settled in with baby. I can’t get enough of my little buddy!

Since the farmer’s market takes place on Wednesdays and Saturdays, and since Saturdays are “weekend time!” and fun days with daddy, I declared this the Summer of Wonderful Wednesdays for H and me. The timing is great mid-week–especially as I work on Thursdays and miss my Bug a bit on my days out of the house. When we started our plan, I counted a potential fifteen Wonderful Wednesdays before baby is due. Each Wednesday morning, we head downtown to pick out a few treats (ie. fruit, veggies, flowers, bread, honey) to round out our menu for the week and to fill up the fridge and pantry with fresh, local delights. I love watching H at the farmer’s market–particularly as he learns more and more about different foods, plants, and flowers. It’s an education every week, and we both enjoy the leisurely stroll it takes for us to get all the way down to one end of the market and back again. Side by side with a trip to the market, we pay our obligatory visit to the local coffee shop for “a bagel and dip!” (and a latte for mom:). I love that Henry has his favorite chair, that he cozies up in it every week like he’s perfectly at home, and that this little hour of joy has made it into the fabric of our weekly routines. Sometimes we bring a book, sometimes cars to play with, and sometimes, we just sit quietly and ease into our morning. It’s a beautiful thing for this mama who’s trying to savor all of this time with my boy.

After coffee and a bagel and the market, there’s always something else fun to do. Occasionally we meet up with other friends, pay a visit to the library, or wander to a park or outside to explore what’s happening in the world. We admire cars and notice all of the trucks that go by. Summertime is a great time to wander past construction sites and to follow ants down the sidewalk…there’s never a shortage of things to do!

Wonderful Wednesdays haven’t necessarily changed the fabric of our weeks an incredible amount, but they have helped me to focus on making sure we’re taking time–for the sake of taking time. It’s so important to me that I’m not always rushing around with H from one thing to the next, and although it feels that way sometimes, I know we’re being intentional to slow down and go at a toddler pace here and there. I love it when we do. I can’t believe we’re already down to a potential eleven Wonderful Wednesdays, but time is passing quickly. You can bet we’ll be soaking it up as much as we can from now until August, and then, we’ll have to come up with another great way to spend our one-on-one time. It’s such a treasure to live somewhere that has so much to offer young families like ours!

I’m wrapping up this particular Wonderful Wednesday in the quiet of the living room. H is sound asleep upstairs, J is out with a friend, and baby and I have just been enjoying our own version of one-on-one time together. He or she is busy in my belly, but as I’ve sat here typing away and talking to the babe, it’s been amazing to notice how his or her movement changes with my activity. I can feel the little one quite clearly through the bump, and it’s pretty surreal to have my hand on this sweet baby, knowing that before long we’ll be cuddled up and snuggled together in the day to day. I’m loving these quiet moments and the opportunities God keeps giving me to reflect and enjoy. So grateful for this life, for Wonderful Wednesdays, and for all that a day filled with simple pleasures can hold…

blessed to the brim,

mm

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in celebration of being born. (83)

Today has been a delightful day. All day long, H has been wishing me a happy birthday–taking my face in his little chubby hands and getting up really close to whisper it to me like a beautiful secret. Have I mentioned I love my boys? And this precious babe doing flip flops in my belly? Somehow, the gift of life inside makes celebrating my own birthday particularly poignant and sweet this year.

I woke up this morning and had a good snuggle with the munchkin. On my way downstairs for breakfast, Henry met me with a trio of birthday balloons. He and J and Grammy (J’s mom) had blown up a whole bunch and decorated the living room with festive color. Then of course, H helped me to open my birthday gift (“Here Mommy! It’s a car!”), along with sweet birthday cards, a new top from Grammy, and the like. Mid-morning, we headed out to meet my mom, dad, stepmom and stepsister for brunch and had the loveliest time. Despite the drizzly and chilly day outside, my birthday was looking up!

Next up on the festivities list? A visit to IKEA for nursery accoutrements and random two dollar treats for H. For a couple with family living ten minutes from the big blue destination, we sure hadn’t been in a long time! It was fun to dream up ideas and visualize the Button’s space becoming more of a reality in the days to come. 28 weeks today, world! We’re getting ever closer to meeting our babe!

The rest of the day was nice and mostly normal…packing up to come home, making the return drive to our side of the lake, picking up ice cream from our favorite place on the way for a late night treat (it’s waiting in the freezer for me to hit publish on this post at this very moment ;). H conked out in the car for the ride home and summed up my evening sentiments quite nicely, new IKEA truck nestled safely in his lap:

ikea henry.jpg

We returned to the little blue house at the tail end of it all, and tucked the small one into bed with hardly a fuss. Now I’m just sitting here grateful–for all of the fullness of the day and the richness of my life here on this planet in such a time as this. It has been a weekend abundant with celebration!

eml reunited.jpg

I am so fortunate to be surrounded and loved, so blessed by dear friends and family and life all around me!

h told me all weekend i was going to have a chocolate cake with brownies on top and colored things. granted. :)

h told me all weekend that i was going to have a chocolate cake with brownies on top and colored things. i’d say this does the trick!

here’s to thirty one! it’s gonna be a beautiful year, i think. 😉

mm

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the start of something new. (84)

When I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be 31. And I don’t have much emotion attached to the age or the year, but I always love the way that birthdays afford us the sense of a fresh start. I have no doubt that these next 365 will hold plenty of surprises. Life is about to take several turns in what I anticipate will be a positive and God-evident direction. I’m sure that there will be curve balls along the way, but we know that those come with the territory of being alive. And I really enjoy being alive 🙂

Outside of knowing when our little one is due and recognizing that our daily life will change dramatically with the new addition, I really can’t pretend to see incredibly far down the road at the moment. I kind of like it that way. It’s fun to think about this upcoming year as being defined by anticipatory delight.

One thing I know for sure is that I’m looking up. In my mind, there’s no other way to approach the unknown outside of expecting the best and giving things the benefit of the doubt. I’m doing my very best to be thankful and to show gratitude–outwardly, sure, but especially to God. I look around me and all I see is His goodness, more and more. A growing assurance of this, even in the midst of trials or challenges, is what moves me forward into this next year without fear. Only joy. I am claiming joy. And joyfully turning another year older. The number doesn’t matter much to me, but how I spend it, who I spend it with, and how I honor God in the midst are all foremost on my mind.

eager to see what God will do (and especially who He has waiting for us come august!) in the next 365.

with a grateful heart,
mm

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matters of the heart. (89)

There are lots of heart matters on my mind tonight. The wedding yesterday, a tear-jerking moment with H earlier this evening, a day later this week to celebrate a friend’s upcoming nuptials, and of course, prepping our hearts and home here for the Button’s arrival. There are others, too, but those four should make for an already lengthy post, so…I’ll stick to my outline. 😉

Above all else that happened today, I walked into to living room just before dinner to a most sacred moment. Henry (who I’d left playing cars on the couch minutes before) had climbed up into a big chair and was sitting, all by himself, and praying aloud. I am absolutely certain that I don’t get everything right as a mom, but this moment–this perfect and precious and remember-it-always moment, was a difference maker for me. To see the heart of Christ working in our tiny little man is the most beautiful thing–and so affirming! I’m afraid my walking in sort of interrupted H’s conversation, but I did catch the last few bits…”Thank you for my feet, and thank you for my pants, and for my clothes…” When I asked him what he was doing, he said, “I’m praying!” Be still my heart. Then I asked him what he’d been praying about and he said, “Daddy, and the baby, and Mo…and YOU!” Oh, my. To think of our little one lifting up his dad and mama in his own way moves me greatly, but to realize that Henry is joining us in prayer for his unborn sibling…it might just be too much for this emotional and expectant mama to handle! Baby Button, when you read this someday, I want you to know just how much your big brother has loved you from the very beginning. He has been thanking God for you daily with us, and also without solicitation. You two are woven together in a marvelous way! I can’t wait to get to know your heart, too, just as I am learning your brother’s. What an amazing gift as your mom!

Not sure how to transition from there, but…in other news, I’m getting excited to spend some time with a dear old (as in, long-lasting, but not aged 🙂 friend as we celebrate a most beautiful season in her life. She’s getting married this August, and while we’ll quite sadly miss the wedding (it’s 9ish hours away and two weeks from my due date), I’ve had the privilege of walking this wedding journey with her for the past few years, and it’s a lovely one. Our day of showering and surrounding Miss Emily with good things has been a shining spot on the calendar for some time now–I’m so glad it’s almost here! As a bonus, the pampering elements of the day will guide me gracefully into my 32nd year on the eve of my 31st birthday. Just a little icing on the cake, if you ask me! Oh, girl time and delightful food and a beautiful city in the Summer and pedicures and my precious, elegant, remarkable friend. Bliss!

And of course, on the subject of weddings, I promised a little recap of last night’s affair. To begin, it was the loveliest representation of a pure and Godly and genuine couple we’ve been blessed to see grow together in love over time. Everything about the celebration–from the worship and fellowship to the location and decor and attire, was perfectly suited to them. It was a delight to be a tiny part of their day. As they said their vows in the spring sunshine overlooking Lake Michigan, the atmosphere was one of sheer joy. It will be awesome to watch and see what God will do in and through them as they make a powerful force for the Kingdom together.

Every little detail of the wedding and reception was sweet and intentional. Personal touches made the evening feel cozy and family-centered…from the adorable handwritten signs to the picnic blankets and lawn games for playing and mingling post-ceremony, right down to the tea and coffee cups we were all invited to take home at the party’s end…each aspect felt like an extension of the happy couple–just as a wedding celebration should be! A few of my favorite elements and moments from the night:

the altar and bench where mr. and mrs. washed each others' (and their respective parents' feet) during the ceremony. beautiful.

the altar and bench where mr. and mrs. washed each others’ (and their respective parents’ feet) during the ceremony. beautiful.

a mom's gotta have a few tricks up her sleeve to keep a two year old quite at length. ;)

a mom’s gotta have a few tricks up her sleeve to keep a two year old quiet at length. 😉

two handsome boys and a classy getaway car.

two handsome boys and a classy getaway car.

snacks, drinks, and an impeccable view.

snacks, drinks, and an impeccable view.

someone had a ball ;)

someone had a ball 😉

it's party time!

it’s party time!

can't get enough of his sparkling apple cider.

can’t get enough of his sparkling apple cider.

learning to shuffle with mama. love.

learning to shuffle with mama. love.

family shenanigans by the lake.

family shenanigans by the lake.

sunset backdrop.

sunset backdrop.

all good things must come to an end, hmmm, h? not an easy lesson to learn when you're two and having a blast.

all good things must come to an end, hmmm, h? not an easy lesson to learn when you’re two and having a blast.

Looking around here this weekend, it was so wonderful to have extra time as a family, to get a few more items checked off the list, and to have great little interactions and moments together. We prepped for the Button in a few simple ways, with conversations woven in about bigger changes that will take place over the next few weeks (moving us to our new room to make space for baby, putting together the crib that arrived (!) Thursday, organizing more baby books and toys and clothes to fill drawers and shelves in the nursery, and tackling as many projects as we’re able before life gets busier with two kiddos in tow). I might have overdone it this weekend, but it’s only out of joy and anticipation that my motivation helped carry me away. Today has been a lighter lifting day, and J has worked hard to stop me from causing myself more trouble. This means he also has a bit more on his plate, and while I feel guilty about that, I’m looking forward to working together to strike a healthy balance through the summer months. The accountability is good–and necessary when I want to see so much accomplished. Slow and steady wins the race from here, I think.

needless to say, my heart is full–and my mind is busy, busy! so thankful to God for all of the beauty He allowed into our lives this weekend. best “weekend time!” i can remember in a while.

happily,

mm

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mama offering. (90)

Well, “weekend time” continues, and I couldn’t be more grateful for an extra day home as a family. Weekends never feel quite long enough, and tomorrow will be a beautiful bonus! We attended an absolutely lovely wedding tonight, and while the party is still going strong as I type, we had to get the munchkin home to bed. He cried and put on his best pouty lip as we left the party, lamenting, “I don’t want to leave the wedding!” I didn’t either…it was a grand celebration! More on the delightful details tomorrow…

Tonight, as I come to terms again with my limitations as a mama with a growing belly (gardening yesterday, dancing while holding H tonight, and in general, trying to keep up with the active demands of a toddler), I just want to focus on the beauty of this season. I do feel more limited, certainly, and I hate telling Henry no sometimes now when he wants me to pick him up, but I am also so taken by the gift of being pregnant, and I desperately desire to glorify God in all of my efforts to carry and love this blooming baby. These days, I have so many incredible mama friends who are raising toddlers and toting newborns, or who are raising toddlers and growing soon-t0-be newborns. It’s an awe-inspiring stage of life. And at times it’s overwhelming, too (although mostly in a good way :). So I’m feeling compelled to offer up a prayer. For all of the mamas who are coming to terms with their own motherhood tonight–in whatever way it applies. Some will be up in the wee hours nursing or cuddling a newborn. Others will be tossing and turning while they navigate growing bellies and changing bodies. Some will be wishing they could hold babies closer while their little ones are far away tonight, and still some will be praying for a baby of their own and clinging to hope for the future. Whatever the case may be, I know that God sees each one of us, and He hears our requests. He plans out His timing and knows what we can handle and all that we need. And he meets us right where we are. His promises are full and generous to our mama hearts…

Father, thank you for another day where you have sustained me and allowed me the gift of carrying this precious life within. Thank you for the blessing of sweet (although often painful:) kicks and constant movement. Thank you that you have created my body to be capable of this amazing miracle!

Thank you, too, God, for using my past experience and my great, deep desire and pain to remind me why this is a most sacred season. Thank you for never letting our hurts go to waste, and for covering me in your love and peace. Your timing is perfect, God, and you knew that I would be carrying this wee one today–in this time and place, for your plans to be fulfilled for this blessing of a baby when he or she is born. Please help me to follow your lead, God, and together as a family, please help us to raise this life to know and love and serve you.

As the day winds down, Father, there are physical reminders of why I can’t do this without your help. Things ache and stretch and require more energy, and I don’t have all of the answers for how to do this on my own. Henry is a busy little person–but you knew that he would be when you entrusted him to us. If I am going to keep up and be engaged and love him in the ways he so desires to be loved right now, I know I need to lean on you for help. Please show me how to love him best, and please help me to fully embrace even the hard parts of carrying this baby as the months roll on. Please give me a spirit of grace and joy and patience toward my children, my family. I can’t do it alone, but I can with You.

Father, as mamas, we all deal with things in the day to day that make our hearts heavy or tired. Sometimes the weight of our burdens is light, but sometimes it can be so very heavy. No matter the weight tonight, would you please guide me–and all of the amazing mamas in my life–to your peace, regardless of the circumstance. Would you wrap your arms especially tightly around those we know who are experiencing deep pain and loss? Will you meet them where they are and display your presence in unmistakable ways?

God, I love you, and I’m so incredibly grateful that you have entrusted little, impressionable lives to my care. Being a mama is the most humbling and amazing gift, and I can’t believe how much more I’ve learned about you as I’ve tried to be attentive to this call on my life. I pray that I will glorify you in the process. Thank you for loving me enough to trust me with your creation.

more of you, and less of me…especially when there’s increasingly more of me these days, and i need so much to trust in your presence and care. love,

mm