MollyMadonna.com

by

this thing we do.

We spent a little time tonight watching videos from when Henry was just days and weeks old. I can’t believe that the teensy tiny baby on camera is the same child who keeps us moving at all times now, just seven, eight, nine months later. It’s a funny thing, being a parent at this stage. Nine + months doesn’t seem all that long ago, and of course we remember those first moments less than a year later. Right?

To some degree, I’d say. I do remember a lot about Henry’s birth and the days that followed, but I think there may have been a good portion that got tucked away behind the new parent haze and the major sleep deprivation that moved in with us when we got home from the hospital. Still, I loved it. Every minute of it. And tonight, watching snippets of our time as a very new family of three made my heart leap all over again. Sure, this gig is hard on a lot of days, but it’s the best job I’ve ever had. I know Jason would agree.

It’s amazing how much I find myself taken with every stage. A good friend has told me on multiple occasions that she’s loved every stage–and that they just get better and better. I admired the prospect of that possibility, but admittedly, I had a hard time believing it when I first set eyes on our little man–I was so in love. The longer I spent time with him as a newborn, the more I was convinced that there’d be little competition for how much my heart overflowed in that season. Not true. On Monday, when Henry said, “Hi!” for the first time while waving at a friend’s little girl, I was reminded just how much he is coming into his own–and how I love every single new change. This evening, when he said, “Buh Bye” while waving goodnight to friends, every bit of the mom in me lit up. More growth. More fun. More of something to celebrate as a parent.

At this stage of Hank’s development, every small thing feels like a big thing to me as his mama. In the same way that his first smile had me near tears in the nursery last Spring, Henry’s discoveries and new words, the connections he makes–and the ability to watch them happen, all bring me such great joy.

My friend was right. It just gets better and better. The day Henry came into our lives, I immediately loved our tiny baby boy more than I ever thought possible. I couldn’t describe just how good it felt then, and I can’t tonight. We are loving every stage as Hank’s parents. How could we not!?

making the days count,

mm

by

henry’s first valentine.

Henry got his first ever Valentine in the mail today, and it came from one of my favorite people in the world. If anyone gets to be Hank’s Valentine before his mommy does, it’s Great Gramma Donna. She’s the very, very best.

On top of the fact that we got to spend the day with some of our dear friends in Grand Rapids, Henry and I were tickled to come home and open the mail. Two things that made today quite good indeed!

with a glad, grateful heart,

mm

by

love for today.

When I need little reminders of joy, they are everywhere I look. And I am humbled over and over. Thank you for being joy…

BTA: for more than i could ever write in a blog post. for being constant. for always picking up where we leave off. for phone calls on the drive home. for so. much. love.

(R)BW: for photo sessions with our littles (I still owe you pictures), kindred blogging, kindred lives. for four-legged friends and a worthwhile commute.

AdR: for chats about being mamas to boys over coffee, for pups, for fashion inspiration, for friendship crafted over radio spots and marketing meetings.

BWB: for lunch dates and pregnancy conversations, hearts after God and the written word, crafts and craftiness and your amazing ability to find me when i need to be found. and for dinosaurs.

JLR: for history. for wisdom and friendship and prayer and openness that withstands all tests of time and distance. for doing life, and for witnessing life at its very beginning.

KTB(D): for ruby slippers and choreography and a love of everything literary. for travels to coastlines and shorelines, and for poems we understand without saying a word.

LZ: for sparkle, both the kind you feel and the kind you wear. for generosity of spirit, for encouragement, and for adventure. (and birthdays, of course.)

LH & NJ: for loving our little family like your own. for prayers, guidance, reassurance, countless blessings, time, nourishment in so many ways.

AT: for fridays. for target dates. for raising boys in a crazy world with reckless love and abandon. and for being real.

BZ: for thoughtfulness and encouragement and spirit. for talent that goes on for miles. for always finding the good. for fake mustaches.

EV: for phone calls that break up the day. for too many similarities to count. for trading in tiaras and earning new titles as mamas instead. for strength.

EJH: for laughter. for being honest. for finding silver linings and reminding me of good. for celebrating what matters and never giving up.

GDZ: for believing. for cultivating love and family and generosity and care. for graciousness and gracefulness and grace.

TMD: for late night conversations. for cheering on and lifting up and leaning in. for lessons. and for bunches, not grapes.

JMK: for covenant. for building a legacy. for falling in and rolling to the middle. for dreaming and watching dreams come true. for what is to come.

And there are more, of course, who I don’t mean to miss in the least bit. More who challenge me in the best ways and who build me up–who teach me about blessing and God and what it means to be selfless, generous, willing, authentic, kind, bold. This entry could be a novel, and I sit back in wonder and think, “How did I ever end up here, with so much beauty at every turn?” You are. Believe it. I know it to be true. Beautiful.

there are not enough words.

mm

by

book club.

It’s official. After 20 some odd years of being an avid reader, a writer by heart and trade, a book store junkie and a lover of the well-crafted word, I am finally a member of a book club. Isn’t that just the most delightful thing?!

Tonight, I joined a group of smart and engaging women (most of whom I met for the first time) who have been meeting monthly for the past 15 years. Not all were a part of the group since its inception, but combined, they have an impressive history of regular meetings, totaling nearly 150 books read together over time. When I arrived, I immediately felt welcome and warmed by the group, who took time to introduce me around the room and to encourage my new participation.

I am certainly the newbie in the mix–these women have weathered all kinds of life together for a long time. But I love that I could enter into something they’ve cultivated all these years and still feel like I’ll have no trouble belonging. Says something grand about the group, if you ask me!

I’m really looking forward to the commitment (and thus the motivation) to read one new book each month. I often have multiple books in the works, but lately have a hard time finishing any one in particular. Now there’s a date on the calendar to remind me to keep going–just another discipline I’m trying to put into place as I work on embracing good and healthy habits in 2012. As I see it, there’s room for improvement in every aspect of life…and even though I love books, own plenty of them, and am tempted to buy more all of the time, I could really improve upon reading them (hard to do if I’m always picking up my phone or scrolling Facebook when I have a few extra minutes here and there.)

I love that I’ll now have a book club to spur me on!

A new book each month, a new bedtime, and the aspiration of embracing and committing to both changes here in the first bit of the new year. Something tells me I’ll be so much happier for the adjustments…

turning pages,

mm

by

stirred, not shaken.

Yesterday around lunch, I grabbed my bags and headed out for some much needed time with four of my favorite women. I had anticipated the weekend away in both good and challenging ways…looking forward to the chance to let my hair down around friends who have known me for nearly a decade (some longer:), and wondering how I’d feel about being away from my favorite little person overnight. As I prepped to go mid-morning, I struggled unnecessarily with the details of feedings and outfits and schedules for the babe, trying wholeheartedly to remind myself that 24 hours would go by in a blink. And then blink it did.

Arriving at my weekend destination with snacks and the like in hand, I joined an already budding catch-up session in the kitchen–each of us picking up where we’d left off weeks or months ago, laughing and crying and reminiscing straight on through the afternoon, then the evening. And conversation never skipped a beat–not once. Stories poured out into the middle of the room over crackers and dip, wine, dinner, banana bars, pj’s, bedtime. Long after we’d gone to bed we were still catching up, still sharing our hearts with each other like only the best of friends can do.

I saw the clock at 4am and remember little after that until morning. And five hours later, when I woke up without worry about feeding times and diaper changes and the like, I felt as though I’d slept for ten. Refreshed. Rejuvenated. Recharged.

We gathered at the kitchen table. We laughed. Sipped coffee over coffee cake, laughed some more. Then we each sat quietly for a bit and wrote a letter to ourselves about where we are now and where we hope to be when January 2013 arrives. It was the most perfect way to wrap up a visit I never knew I’d so badly needed.

Getting ready to face the day was reminiscent of college–all of the girls chatty in the bathroom, hair dryers and curling irons busy while we eeked out every last minute of our time together. Packing up and promising follow-up conversations over coffee and dinner before too much time passes by, we recounted 15 straight hours of conversation from the day before. You know you’re friends when…

There is something so sacred about friendship when it has withstood (and battled and weathered and triumphed over) the test of time (and distance and circumstance:). And without a doubt I can say that these women, the ones I trust implicitly with my heart and my scars, my absolute imperfections and worries and hopes and aspirations, are among those whom God has used in countless ways to bless my life and to draw me nearer to Him.

I left home yesterday worrying about what the next 24 hours would hold, letting the mama in me tug at all of the places in my heart I haven’t put down since last April 25th. And those places didn’t disappear overnight–in fact, they probably grew in the healthiest ways while I was gone. But as one of my dear friends reminded me this weekend, I needed the space to just be Molly for a little while. Still “Molly, Henry’s mommy,” just not, “Molly with the diaper bag and stroller in tow.”

On the drive home today (and really from the minute our mini-getaway began), I felt an amazing sense of peace. Of joy. Of God clearing out the clutter of the everyday to open my heart to all that He had waiting for me, among some of the most beautiful people I know. And when I came home, that precious, smiley boy was having a fine time with his daddy, grinning ear to ear as I came into view and making my whole self inhale in a different and perfect way.

My heart is stirred tonight. Lighter. My spirit, uplifted.

filled with gratitude,

mm