MollyMadonna.com

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for today.

I’m so grateful for so much lately, and today was filled with even more to be thankful for. Ten things that I’ll go to bed grateful for tonight:

-4.5 consecutive hours of sleep before morning came

-Visits from two good friends, great conversation and watching them enjoy Henry as we spent time together

-A bagel with vegetable cream cheese and a decaf coffee from Panera…delivered to my doorstep!

-Spring rain and the way everything keeps greening up outside the window

-Two short but lovely naps

-Time to pick things up around the house and organize a few piles of mail that have been driving me crazy

-Getting out of the house tonight to run a few errands, pick up fresh fruits and veggies from the grocery store and have dinner with J (while Henry slept in his car seat…almost the whole time)

-Good feedings, longer naps and fun awake/play time with Henry

-A regular (not speedy) shower, time to dry my hair and a sleeping baby in the process

And last, but certainly not least…

-I got into my regular old jeans today!! I never thought my hips would go back to normal size again when I first tried to squeeze into a pair a few weeks ago, but today was a different story, and I’m SO excited. I don’t know what I was thinking trying them on so soon in the first place. After today though, I’m thinking I can start to pack away maternity jeans–and that’s a bit thrilling for this new momma.

Today was really, in so many ways, refreshing. When the little one falls asleep peacefully tonight, I most definitely will, too 🙂

delighted by the little things,

mm

oh, and this…because it totally made my night last night. A sneak peek at a few photos H and I had taken last week. Sheer joy!

http://www.walcottimaging.com/blog/2011/05/25/henry-newborn-photography/

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table for one. (day 26)

As it turns out, no matter what time of the evening we decide to have dinner, Henry believes it to be his dinnertime, too. There’s nothing wrong with his theory, of course, but it poses a little bit of a challenge to us as mom and dad. Dinner has always been our chance to catch up on the contents of the day, to decompress, and on weeknights, to connect for the first time since saying goodbye in the morning. Times have changed though, and our old dinner routine has flown.

Nowadays, I can try to time the making and eating of dinner with Henry’s last feeding, attempting to predict when he’ll nap and for how long. Stirring pots on the stove or checking items in the oven gets a little tricky though, with a newborn needing to eat in the next room. If I do get the timing right…prep dinner, feed Henry, finish making dinner, then Jason and I sit down to eat in just enough time for the little one to begin fussing about halfway through the meal. I’m learning to enjoy the art of reheating, as well as the art of “Oh well. I’ll just eat when I eat, and if it’s cold, it’s cold. Oh, and if it’s tomorrow, well then, I’ll appreciate it that much more.” Kidding. Between the two of us, we can at least manage to make sure we both eat a meal. The when and the how are simply in question.

It’s taken me a few weeks, but I’m grasping the necessity of high protein, quick-to-grab food items, and also the necessity of having them within reach. Arm’s reach. When Jason asks me if I need anything before he leaves for work in the morning, my go to answer is now, “Um, a glass of water and a power bar? A banana? Maybe two power bars?” I’m finding out that Henry and I can navigate the day much better if mom has a snack for herself up her sleeve. Henry has carte blanche where food is concerned, but without a few staples close by, breakfast for me might fall around 11am, lunch, at 2.

The important thing at the end of the day? We’re all getting fed. Henry will never go hungry, and with a bit more careful and patient planning, neither will we. In the meantime, while we explore these new parent waters, looking at this face all day helps to quell the frustration, the impatience, and possibly, even a hunger pang or two:

making the most of it,

mm

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sustenance. (day 10)

It’s pretty humbling, this thing of God always providing enough exactly in the moment that we need it. I’ve experienced it many times before…living in Africa, raising funds for missions, emptying the piggy bank for necessary things…but I’ve never quite felt so provided for in the same way as I’ve been over the last ten days. God is nurturing my heart, my new-mommyhood, and my physical self through the generosity and selflessness of others in profoundly simple ways. At the end of every day, I can’t help but look back to reflect with gratitude on the one that has just come and gone.

God so often sustains me through prayer, worship, time alone, nature, relationships–the areas where I’ve grown accustomed to Him meeting me, and the places where I’ll first look to find Him when I’m postured to ask, confess, pray or praise. But lately God is showing up in acts of kindness, time, service, comfort and wisdom, and He is surprising me at every turn. I never imagined people dropping what they’ve got going on, or making incredible efforts to rearrange schedules just to come and help me and our new little family. Our parents have all made significant sacrifices of time and energy to come and be here with us as we acclimate to life with Henry, and they’re not just here holding the baby. They are cooking and cleaning, changing and washing, encouraging and loving and doting on the three of us in a way that is so elemental and basic and yet, so perfect and needed in this season. Friends keep dropping by to bring meals–some planned and some unexpected, but all in perfect timing. Thoughtful and surprise gifts have arrived in hand and by mail for our little son, blessing us with their sentiments and prayers and celebration. I look around this house and see signs of community everywhere–sustenance for my soul that is otherwise tired and subdued and ready for some semblance of normal to return again.

If having a baby and letting go of inhibitions, modesty, privacy and plans isn’t enough, what happens in the wake of birth is certainly one of the most humbling experiences ever. As someone who has a hard time sitting still, I’m having to learn a great deal about saying yes and saying no, about being served, about waiting, and about being patient with myself and this whole process in different ways than I perhaps expected. Undoubtedly, I’ll be back on my emotional and physical feet before long. In this healing space though, I’m just relying on the evidence I already have before me–that the details will fall into place and the laundry will get folded; the house will be kept as clean as necessary, the baby will have what he needs at every turn, and no one will go without under this roof. God is good–and gracious and merciful, all the time. All the time, He is. And it is good.

From the beginning…community:

From the beginning…LOVE:

sustained,

mm

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out to dinner. (21)

Jason and I were blessed with a little “fun” money this weekend and instructed to spend it on something we’d enjoy doing together, so tonight, we dutifully obliged. After a day of baby-related things and trying to check items off of lists around the house, we went to dinner downtown at one of our favorite local spots. Pizza was the fare of the evening, and although I can’t handle much in the way of tomatoes or marinara these days, I can absolutely partake in the white sauce variety, which I very much enjoyed with an iced tea 🙂

The weather was so Springlike today, and iced tea made the evening feel practically Summery. There’s nothing I love more than spending an evening enjoying each other’s company in warm weather…taking walks down 8th Street and just sort of strolling along, as if there’s nothing else to worry about in the world. J and I met in the Summer and have spent countless hours strolling and frequenting the beach on nights like tonight, and I love every one of them. An evening like this one is just good for my soul.

I know that a lot is about to change very soon, but one thing we’re committed to keeping the same is the priority we’ve placed on dating each other. With the baby in-utero, it’s a little easier to head out for a care free meal or destination, but even once the little one is here, we know that he or she will be better for us making this a priority in our lives.

I love dating my husband. And I don’t plan on that ever changing 🙂

When I think about all of the joy that awaits us as we integrate the baby into our lives, I know the restaurant experience will change a bit for a while. But there will certainly still be nights when the peanut stays home, and for a few hours, it’s just us, like it’s always been. I’m so thankful that God puts people in our path who recognize the importance of this, and who willingly encourage us to make time and take time to enjoy each other. As we remind ourselves how much love there is between us and within our family, our new addition will grow to know that love as well.

I’ll probably never forget these last few weeks as Jason and Molly, before we ever became mom and dad in a more tangible sense. We’re already parents, of course, awaiting the arrival of this person we love so much, but we are Jason and Molly first…on the beach, when we fall into bed at night, and over pizza on a Saturday, when everything seems right with the world.

full. in the very of best ways,

mm

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fudge bars. (23)

We used to have them all of the time as kids–a treat on the weekends or in the summertime or after dinner on occasion. I rarely crave ice cream (unless it’s Captain Sundae :), but tonight after getting home from our last birthing class, I sat down to blog and suddenly wanted a fudge bar. I don’t think I’ve had one in years. They might sound good when I pass them in the frozen food aisles at the grocery store, but I never buy them.

Enter Jason. He had just gotten cozy in the living room when I mentioned this random craving (Note: I’ve had very few cravings during pregnancy…citrus fruit, milk and cereal are my top three offenders). Rewind to a few days ago when J shared that he kind of felt like he’d missed out on the chance to get in the car at midnight and run to the store to appease a craving of mine over the past 9ish months. When your wife craves staples like milk, cereal and citrus fruit, there aren’t too many nights where grocery delivery by way of loving husband is wholly necessary at an ungodly hour.

Tonight, though, it’s Jason-the-wonder-husband/dad to the rescue. I didn’t vocalize my craving for any other reason than just to say that fudge bars sounded good, but J was up and at ’em with record speed. Before I knew it, he was in the car and on the way to the store–and I’m feeling pretty spoiled right about now.

In the midst of this post, my phone buzzed with a text from super-husband letting me know that photos of three fudge bar options were waiting in my inbox. Sure enough, store brand, Fudgsicle and Skinny Cow fudge bars were looking back at me when I opened my email. And then J called to make sure to get the right ones. This is one of those moments where I just want to pin him with a “best husband of the year” award. I mean really, fudge bars at my beck and call at 10:30pm, directly following an evening in birthing class supporting me and learning how to best facilitate the healthiest, smoothest birth possible for our little babe? Maybe he could be the April cover guy for New Dad Magazine or something. If it existed, I’d nominate him.

So Kruger and I are just hanging out here, spending time with the blog and awaiting the deliciousness of a hand-delivered fudge bar to round out the night. We’re looking forward to “dad” getting home, as we often do, and I’m melting a little myself over the service coming my almost 37 weeks pregnant way.

feeling quite loved,

mm