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in celebration of being born. (83)

Today has been a delightful day. All day long, H has been wishing me a happy birthday–taking my face in his little chubby hands and getting up really close to whisper it to me like a beautiful secret. Have I mentioned I love my boys? And this precious babe doing flip flops in my belly? Somehow, the gift of life inside makes celebrating my own birthday particularly poignant and sweet this year.

I woke up this morning and had a good snuggle with the munchkin. On my way downstairs for breakfast, Henry met me with a trio of birthday balloons. He and J and Grammy (J’s mom) had blown up a whole bunch and decorated the living room with festive color. Then of course, H helped me to open my birthday gift (“Here Mommy! It’s a car!”), along with sweet birthday cards, a new top from Grammy, and the like. Mid-morning, we headed out to meet my mom, dad, stepmom and stepsister for brunch and had the loveliest time. Despite the drizzly and chilly day outside, my birthday was looking up!

Next up on the festivities list? A visit to IKEA for nursery accoutrements and random two dollar treats for H. For a couple with family living ten minutes from the big blue destination, we sure hadn’t been in a long time! It was fun to dream up ideas and visualize the Button’s space becoming more of a reality in the days to come. 28 weeks today, world! We’re getting ever closer to meeting our babe!

The rest of the day was nice and mostly normal…packing up to come home, making the return drive to our side of the lake, picking up ice cream from our favorite place on the way for a late night treat (it’s waiting in the freezer for me to hit publish on this post at this very moment ;). H conked out in the car for the ride home and summed up my evening sentiments quite nicely, new IKEA truck nestled safely in his lap:

ikea henry.jpg

We returned to the little blue house at the tail end of it all, and tucked the small one into bed with hardly a fuss. Now I’m just sitting here grateful–for all of the fullness of the day and the richness of my life here on this planet in such a time as this. It has been a weekend abundant with celebration!

eml reunited.jpg

I am so fortunate to be surrounded and loved, so blessed by dear friends and family and life all around me!

h told me all weekend i was going to have a chocolate cake with brownies on top and colored things. granted. :)

h told me all weekend that i was going to have a chocolate cake with brownies on top and colored things. i’d say this does the trick!

here’s to thirty one! it’s gonna be a beautiful year, i think. 😉

mm

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the start of something new. (84)

When I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be 31. And I don’t have much emotion attached to the age or the year, but I always love the way that birthdays afford us the sense of a fresh start. I have no doubt that these next 365 will hold plenty of surprises. Life is about to take several turns in what I anticipate will be a positive and God-evident direction. I’m sure that there will be curve balls along the way, but we know that those come with the territory of being alive. And I really enjoy being alive 🙂

Outside of knowing when our little one is due and recognizing that our daily life will change dramatically with the new addition, I really can’t pretend to see incredibly far down the road at the moment. I kind of like it that way. It’s fun to think about this upcoming year as being defined by anticipatory delight.

One thing I know for sure is that I’m looking up. In my mind, there’s no other way to approach the unknown outside of expecting the best and giving things the benefit of the doubt. I’m doing my very best to be thankful and to show gratitude–outwardly, sure, but especially to God. I look around me and all I see is His goodness, more and more. A growing assurance of this, even in the midst of trials or challenges, is what moves me forward into this next year without fear. Only joy. I am claiming joy. And joyfully turning another year older. The number doesn’t matter much to me, but how I spend it, who I spend it with, and how I honor God in the midst are all foremost on my mind.

eager to see what God will do (and especially who He has waiting for us come august!) in the next 365.

with a grateful heart,
mm

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conversations with h, part 2. (85)

85! How did we get here? I have mixed emotions about being this close to baby #2, but mostly, I’m just excited. Excited to find out if this wee one is a boy or girl, excited to make H a big brother, excited to see what life will look like for our little family in the months ahead. Some think we’re crazy for not knowing the gender–and believe me, the wait feels long–but I can say confidently that not knowing builds up so much more anticipation for us. I love that moment of surprise far more than I love the idea of knowing from now until then. Henry is convinced he knows, so it will be fascinating if he’s right. The two seem quite in sync with one another already–a joy for this mama in the process of growing the Button.

On the subject of Henry, today was one of those days I wished I’d had a notepad along for every conversation. The kid cracked me up all day. Perhaps he’ll make you smile with a remark or two as well…

-As we headed out to the car this morning (a loaner, because mine was getting new brakes today), H says to me, “There’s our Tahoe! It has two car seats in it! One for me…and one for Emmelia!” (Emmelia is H’s younger and oh-so-adorable cousin, who lives quite far away). “No, buddy. I’m sorry. There’s not a seat for Emmelia. I wish there were. But you know what?! When the baby comes, Emmelia is going to come and visit! Won’t that be great?!” “Yeah,” he replied. Five plus hours later at the car shop swapping out vehicles, Henry tells a friend of ours (while patting my belly), “I’m having a baby! It’s a girl! And I will hold it nicely and make it calm. And then…Emmelia will come! She’s a baby, too!” Oh, my. I just love how toddlers think. The connection from this morning’s conversation was priceless. And I adore his excitement over his cousin. Makes my heart warm.

-At the pool today, Henry saw his swim instructor from a few months back. “Mr. Dan” is a kid favorite–always swapping high fives and encouraging the little ones that they’re great. Henry still asks about him at random, months after his lessons ended. A few days ago, H refused to say hello to Mr. Dan. Instead, he hid himself behind my leg, made a theatrical pouty face, and said, “I can’t. I’m shy.” If you’ve ever met H, you know he’s not the least bit shy. Regardless–and despite the fact that we’d talked about being polite and nice and friendly when someone we know says hello, Henry refused Mr. Dan’s high five again this morning. Later in the day though, after a whole lot of fun swimming, H must have been in better spirits. When Mr. Dan came over to ask Little Man about his time at the pool, Henry talked his ear off for five minutes. The best part? When Mr. Dan said, “I’m so glad you decided to say hello to me today. High five! You made my day!” and Henry replied, “Yeah! AND your weekend time!” How can you not laugh sometimes? Two year old conversations are the best.

A few other comments that brightened the day…

-When I told H that I need to sit for a few minutes because my stomach hurt: “Here’s a Jaguar (matchbox car). That can make you feel better.” Love.

-Handing me a different car later on: “It’s a crocodile race car…from my birthday! I’ve never seen one of those driving down the road!”

-“Look!! I found my screwdriver under the couch! It was just sleeping under there.”

And when I asked him if I could have a cake for my birthday this weekend:

“Yep!” “Thanks, Buddy! What kind of cake?” (assuming a MINI Cooper cake, of course.) “A chocolate one. With brownie kinds of things on top. And colored things on it.”

Um, love this kid.

He really does make me smile. Daily. And I realize that it’s such a gift to have a small person in my life who adds laughter and brings joy. This parenting thing isn’t for the faint of heart, but all of the goodnesses that come with it sure do make all of the hard parts worthwhile!

grateful for all of the chatter.

mm

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on nesting. (87)

Every other day, I feel like I’m in 100% nesting mode. On the off days, I couldn’t be bothered with it. I think this must be my subconscious attempt to balance what is coming and what is already here. There are days when I just want (and need) to be present with Henry. Today was one of those. He accompanied me on morning errands, and then we went to the pool for lunch and some early afternoon swim time. It was slightly on the cool side today, but with pool temps pushing 84 degrees, there was no convincing HD that we should be anywhere else but paddling around in the water. There is a remarkable change in him from last year to now–he is suddenly daring and desiring independence as he makes his way into the “deep” end without fear. Nowadays, the fear is all on me (and especially as I think about keeping up with him as this pregnancy moves along all summer). Nevertheless, it was fun to realize just how much he is coming into his own, and how much he is a boy and no longer a baby. I miss that part of him sometimes, but then I remember that we’re about to jump back on the baby train again, and it’s ok. I think on days like today I can fully embrace H’s boyhood and growing up.

God’s timing is perfect, and nothing phases Him like it does us. I quickly find greater peace when I remember this.

So…nesting. Nesting vs. summertime fun and running around with munchkin #1–this is going to be one of my greatest challenges for the next twelve weeks. I do appreciate that there’s a deadline of sorts. We know that what’s not done come mid-August may likely stay as is until mid-winter, when baby has settled into life here and we’ve settled into life with baby. (And maybe longer than that.) This is exactly why I’m trying to prioritize things in my head without overcommitting my heart to them. Life is constantly in flux, and we never know what might come our way. Could be that all lines up according to plan. Could be that baby gets here early and we manage completely with everything as is (not willing it to happen this way, but I’m telling myself that we would work it all out and be fine if it did). Could be that there are just too many glorious days this summer to count, and we end up spending them as a family by the pool. I mean, really. What is H going to remember best, anyway?

I am still learning so much about balance and figuring things out as we go. Tonight, for example, I’ve debated vacuuming several times. But then there was the blog (and my commitment to it), and there’s also the fact that this mama spent the afternoon keeping up with a two year old in the pool and bed sounds much better. Balance. Since I work tomorrow, vacuuming is getting the shove to another day’s to-do list. And bed beckons. Can’t help it. Gotta have energy for the tasks at hand…plus nesting, when life permits. 😉

thankful for the time with my sweet boy today, even if it involved a maternity swim suit 🙂

mm

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matters of the heart. (89)

There are lots of heart matters on my mind tonight. The wedding yesterday, a tear-jerking moment with H earlier this evening, a day later this week to celebrate a friend’s upcoming nuptials, and of course, prepping our hearts and home here for the Button’s arrival. There are others, too, but those four should make for an already lengthy post, so…I’ll stick to my outline. 😉

Above all else that happened today, I walked into to living room just before dinner to a most sacred moment. Henry (who I’d left playing cars on the couch minutes before) had climbed up into a big chair and was sitting, all by himself, and praying aloud. I am absolutely certain that I don’t get everything right as a mom, but this moment–this perfect and precious and remember-it-always moment, was a difference maker for me. To see the heart of Christ working in our tiny little man is the most beautiful thing–and so affirming! I’m afraid my walking in sort of interrupted H’s conversation, but I did catch the last few bits…”Thank you for my feet, and thank you for my pants, and for my clothes…” When I asked him what he was doing, he said, “I’m praying!” Be still my heart. Then I asked him what he’d been praying about and he said, “Daddy, and the baby, and Mo…and YOU!” Oh, my. To think of our little one lifting up his dad and mama in his own way moves me greatly, but to realize that Henry is joining us in prayer for his unborn sibling…it might just be too much for this emotional and expectant mama to handle! Baby Button, when you read this someday, I want you to know just how much your big brother has loved you from the very beginning. He has been thanking God for you daily with us, and also without solicitation. You two are woven together in a marvelous way! I can’t wait to get to know your heart, too, just as I am learning your brother’s. What an amazing gift as your mom!

Not sure how to transition from there, but…in other news, I’m getting excited to spend some time with a dear old (as in, long-lasting, but not aged 🙂 friend as we celebrate a most beautiful season in her life. She’s getting married this August, and while we’ll quite sadly miss the wedding (it’s 9ish hours away and two weeks from my due date), I’ve had the privilege of walking this wedding journey with her for the past few years, and it’s a lovely one. Our day of showering and surrounding Miss Emily with good things has been a shining spot on the calendar for some time now–I’m so glad it’s almost here! As a bonus, the pampering elements of the day will guide me gracefully into my 32nd year on the eve of my 31st birthday. Just a little icing on the cake, if you ask me! Oh, girl time and delightful food and a beautiful city in the Summer and pedicures and my precious, elegant, remarkable friend. Bliss!

And of course, on the subject of weddings, I promised a little recap of last night’s affair. To begin, it was the loveliest representation of a pure and Godly and genuine couple we’ve been blessed to see grow together in love over time. Everything about the celebration–from the worship and fellowship to the location and decor and attire, was perfectly suited to them. It was a delight to be a tiny part of their day. As they said their vows in the spring sunshine overlooking Lake Michigan, the atmosphere was one of sheer joy. It will be awesome to watch and see what God will do in and through them as they make a powerful force for the Kingdom together.

Every little detail of the wedding and reception was sweet and intentional. Personal touches made the evening feel cozy and family-centered…from the adorable handwritten signs to the picnic blankets and lawn games for playing and mingling post-ceremony, right down to the tea and coffee cups we were all invited to take home at the party’s end…each aspect felt like an extension of the happy couple–just as a wedding celebration should be! A few of my favorite elements and moments from the night:

the altar and bench where mr. and mrs. washed each others' (and their respective parents' feet) during the ceremony. beautiful.

the altar and bench where mr. and mrs. washed each others’ (and their respective parents’ feet) during the ceremony. beautiful.

a mom's gotta have a few tricks up her sleeve to keep a two year old quite at length. ;)

a mom’s gotta have a few tricks up her sleeve to keep a two year old quiet at length. 😉

two handsome boys and a classy getaway car.

two handsome boys and a classy getaway car.

snacks, drinks, and an impeccable view.

snacks, drinks, and an impeccable view.

someone had a ball ;)

someone had a ball 😉

it's party time!

it’s party time!

can't get enough of his sparkling apple cider.

can’t get enough of his sparkling apple cider.

learning to shuffle with mama. love.

learning to shuffle with mama. love.

family shenanigans by the lake.

family shenanigans by the lake.

sunset backdrop.

sunset backdrop.

all good things must come to an end, hmmm, h? not an easy lesson to learn when you're two and having a blast.

all good things must come to an end, hmmm, h? not an easy lesson to learn when you’re two and having a blast.

Looking around here this weekend, it was so wonderful to have extra time as a family, to get a few more items checked off the list, and to have great little interactions and moments together. We prepped for the Button in a few simple ways, with conversations woven in about bigger changes that will take place over the next few weeks (moving us to our new room to make space for baby, putting together the crib that arrived (!) Thursday, organizing more baby books and toys and clothes to fill drawers and shelves in the nursery, and tackling as many projects as we’re able before life gets busier with two kiddos in tow). I might have overdone it this weekend, but it’s only out of joy and anticipation that my motivation helped carry me away. Today has been a lighter lifting day, and J has worked hard to stop me from causing myself more trouble. This means he also has a bit more on his plate, and while I feel guilty about that, I’m looking forward to working together to strike a healthy balance through the summer months. The accountability is good–and necessary when I want to see so much accomplished. Slow and steady wins the race from here, I think.

needless to say, my heart is full–and my mind is busy, busy! so thankful to God for all of the beauty He allowed into our lives this weekend. best “weekend time!” i can remember in a while.

happily,

mm