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the best time of day.

Our little Henry turned four months old yesterday, and it feels far more like a milestone than I ever imagined. He is such a sweet, sweet baby. Even in the hardest moments, I realize (as much as I’m able) just how blessed we are to have a healthy, happy child. All day yesterday, I found myself thanking God for every day we’ve been given thus far–and I couldn’t help but reminisce about the things we’ve already shared…our first days in the hospital, bringing Henry home to grow and learn and live and love with us, visiting with grandparents, watching parades, traveling out West, dipping our toes, playing with friends, reading, singing, dancing, cooing and praying together, countless hours in the rocking chair in the peaceful quiet of night.

Henry, of course, is growing–and he’s growing fast. I’ve packed away an entire tub of clothes, and I add more to the mix almost every week. Between rolling over and giggling joyfully, tummy time and blowing raspberries, teething and “talking” from the backseat of the car, he has taken my world by storm. And I’m never going to be the same again. I start my day with Henry, and I end it with one last little kiss on his forehead as I make my way to bed. Jason and I both agree that our time together in the nursery at H’s bedtime is the absolute BEST time of day, and I’m not sure we’d know what to do with ourselves between 8 and 9pm anymore if it weren’t filled with pj’s and bath time and family story time, laying all in a row on a quilt on the nursery floor.

Everything is better with a little Henry David in our lives.

Tomorrow morning, he’ll begin to coo and I’ll wake up to find him smiling widely in his crib–just as he is every morning these days, ready to begin another adventure. And tomorrow morning, we’ll three snuggle up in our cozy bed after H’s first feeding, enjoying our Saturday routine and the joy that comes with being his *lucky* parents.

Henry is the icing on every cake. He’s the sugary sweetness of a ripe, August peach as it runs down all sticky onto your face and fingers. He’s the harmony to our melody and the bounce in my step. God’s way of showing us His love in the grandest fashion; a baby boy teaching me all about love and sacrifice and willingness and seeking joy in the little things. Delight. Growth. Grace.

amazed on a daily basis,

mm

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dreaming bigger.

Sitting in church this morning, I was struck by Dr. James Dobson’s message on building and leaving a family legacy. As he talked about praying for our children and our children’s children, I caught myself in a habit I’ve often battled: I’m dreaming too small and limiting God. Here’s the thing–I’ve been feeling good about praying for Henry every night as I put him down to sleep (and often during the day as I feed him or while we play)…but my prayers are perhaps too simple. I ask regularly for Henry’s protection and health, for his night’s sleep and the day ahead. I pray that God will be present in Henry’s life, and that he’ll come to know Christ and desire the presence of the Holy Spirit. In a way, I thought I was covering all of the bases. But what about Henry’s children? And their children after that? And what about the woman he’ll someday marry, or the profession he’ll be called to, or the temptations he’ll face? I’ve prayed about these things on occasion, but not on a daily basis; As his mom, isn’t that my job?

It’s easy to see Henry’s needs as a baby right now and to pray to their end. And it’s easy to know my own fears and reservations as a new mom and to pray about them as well. But it takes more thought and consideration to cover all of the things that Henry will encounter. Eventually. Yet they all matter and they’re all a part of my responsibility to lift to our ever-so-responsive and attentive God.

This dreaming bigger concept applies to much of my life in its current state. At this juncture, having exited the first few blurring months of parenting with a little more sleep under my belt and a little more sanity these days, I’m starting to realize all of the loose ends I’d like to gather as we move into another season. The trajectory of my life–of our family, depends on the level of intentionality I apply to everything I do. This is no small charge, and nothing I can simply tackle on my own. In order to live well–with purpose and direction and integrity, I absolutely have to lean humbly on God. As Dr. Dobson reiterated today,

Unless the LORD builds the house,
They labor in vain who build it; [Psalm 127.1]

As I go to bed tonight, I am reminded of the significance of my role as wife and mother to the men in this household, to future children…as grandmother and great-grandmother to generations yet unborn. I don’t ever want to regret the missed opportunity to pray things into being–especially for the family that God has entrusted to me for a time. Thus, I am leaning on a most powerful God for far more than I would ever be able to accomplish of my own volition…

Therefore, my dear brothers and sisters, stand firm. Let nothing move you. Always give yourselves fully to the work of the Lord, because you know that your labor in the Lord is not in vain. [1 Cor 15.58]

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. [Eph. 3.20-21]

eyes wide open,

mm

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for today.

There are things I want to remember about today–good, life-giving, holy things that I don’t want to lose in the midst of other things that feel cloudy and defeating and strange. The little moments of the day that make it rich are absolutely worth celebrating, I think!

For today, I’m thankful to be home with our little babe, watching him grow and learn and find delight in the newness of life as he explores it. I’m grateful for friends, and for the way God orchestrates conversations and connectedness over amazing homemade salads at imperfect dining room tables. I’m clinging to Truth, and how it makes its way into spaces otherwise consumed by longing, fear, discontentment. And I’m blessed by time outside as a family on a beautiful, Summer night.

For the sweet little town where we live…

For the smiles Henry adds to other faces as we say hello and share in the joy of having him in our lives…

For made up songs and playtime and silly antics that light up his face and draw our connection as mom and baby ever closer all the time…

 

 

If I blinked too fast, I would miss this. All of this beauty around me in such important places in my life. If I let myself, I could bristle at the challenges, have a good cry over the losses, wish the days away always striving after the accomplishments I crave and have yet to reach. And it’s possible that I’ve done some of that today, at least for a few minutes. Still, I want to go to bed thankful. Thankful for what is right and true and lovely. Thankful for the way God created me to be driven toward wholeness and authenticity and to pursue them until I can grab them by the reins.

for today, i’ll cling to the little things, and to the steadfastness of a most holy Creator who helps me to embrace what is good,

mm

 

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craving order.

Tonight I’m craving order in the worst way. I think this started a few weeks ago with my determination to find a hanging mail organizer for the kitchen door. I absolutely cannot handle the mail pile as it grows and grows each week, and having designated pockets with categories like “urgent” and “to pay” and “to file” would make this little lady a very happy camper. I’ve been searching high and low for the exact right thing–even went so far as to scavenge the fabric store for a great pattern or some crafty inspiration, but I must be looking in all of the wrong places. I’ve paged through etsy.com religiously, and still, nothing. I don’t think what I’m looking for is all that complicated–multiple fabric pockets in different sizes, ideally a slot on each for labeling and such, and the ability to hang on a door. That’s all. I thought it would be simpler.

In the meantime, all of this mail organizing and adding baby items and paperwork and receipts to the mix has me craving other kinds of organization as well. I want to go wander the aisles at Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond, stocking up on Real Simple products and containers and bins for everything in the house. And it isn’t that we don’t have any of these types of things around, I just want ALL of it–ALL of it, to have a proper place right now. Where do I begin?

I’m trying to weed out any extra paper in our lives, tossing unnecessary files and things into recycling like it’s my job and well, it kind of is. By Autumn, I just want to be able to look around here and breath in deeply with a renewed sense of organization and order about the place. I want to eBay and/or Craigslist everything that we no longer use and/or need, to make trips to Goodwill and my favorite consignment shop in town with arms full and items never to return to the little blue house.

Decidedly, this comes from a place in my spirit that craves order and sensibility and style all at once. I don’t just want to put things away in file drawers, I want all of life to feel more pulled together, and I want to feel more pulled together, too. This season of having a baby, then learning to raise him and adapt to life with all of the changes that come along, has shaken my ability to default to organization and routine in a lot of ways, and I’d like to claim them back. I know that life with a kiddo in the mix is going to be different, of course! But that’s all the more reason to find ways to simplify, de-clutter and coordinate on multiple levels–to spare us all the time, energy and frustration that we really don’t have the luxury of spending these days. There are no more hours in the day than before, so I’m inclined to believe that how I use them is more important than ever.

What this comes down to, I think, is that I really want to be a good steward of all I’ve been given. I’m craving order in places that could use a little more because I don’t want to spend any more time than necessary on trivial things. I’d much rather have the hours to be wife and mom, daughter, sister and friend. And I want to be responsible with everything that’s entrusted to me–from the mail to our finances, from correspondence and relationship-building to the details of our home; it’s no small charge to make the most of all the hours we’ve been given, but with some time, a few small-ish resources and a lot of God’s help, I’d like to think I’m up to the task!

working on order (and discipline, boundaries, bedtime…),

mm

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caterpillar toes.

Henry and I are getting the hang of venturing out and about to explore the world together, and I love it. This morning, we played with friends, then spent the afternoon visiting with another friend out at her campsite at the state park. Then we met up with Dad for dinner at home and a trip downtown for the Street Performers Series–one of our favorite things about Summer. Gosh it was just the perfect day to be outside–and the perfect evening, too! A slight breeze, sun and shade, cooler temps. Love.

I grabbed a few shots of Henry on his beach towel, just hanging out in his sun hat with a handful of favorite toys. Here are two gems from this afternoon:

hangin' with sophie at the beach.

'lil beach bum.

And later on…

There’s always a great variety of talent and entertainment among the Thursday night street performers, and tonight was no exception. We usually just stroll and observe at a distance, but on this fine evening, we decided a little participation would be more fun. So, I wandered up to the henna table and in less than a minute walked away with a sweet little reminder of India:

quick henna tattoo...and it was free!

Then Henry, although fast asleep, participated in a little art project by lending his left foot…and the end result was this adorable little caterpillar for the bug himself. Marking Henry’s tiny toes at three months and being oh-so-adorably cute, this one’s a framer for the nursery, for sure (I think I sense a series coming on):

a bug for our bug 😉

We wrapped up the night among a crowd of 100 or so, enjoying the quick hand and tricks of a local magician–I’d forgotten how fun that can be! Henry David was a tired little man at the end of a full day, but he’s sleeping soundly now after a story and a bedtime snack. Then there was time to clean, squeak in a bit of work, catch up a tad on emails and pour over photos for a bit. Now, as I head to bed myself, I’ll likely sneak one more peek and a kiss on the forehead for my favorite little boy–two more things to love about an already lovely day.

looking forward to tomorrow and whatever new delights it will hold!

mm (henry’s mom:)

Ooh, and for a spectacular treat, take three minutes to enjoy Move. Learn. and Eat., a trio of very short videos that will inspire your creative side, the wanderlust that’s lurking, and quite likely, your taste buds:

http://bit.ly/qoeaM5