MollyMadonna.com

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installation day. (64)

It’s here! It’s finally here! I have been growing increasingly impatient these past few weeks as we ordered and then waited for the nursery carpet to arrive. We could have ordered it sooner, but we took our time painting the room to make sure we were thorough, and we knew we couldn’t have the carpet show up any sooner than when the last coat of trim paint had dried. Then, of course, there was scheduling the installation and such, and so we shuffled baby things around from room to room for a bit as house guests came and went, and as the crib arrived, etc.

This morning, Kruger inspected the room one last time as Jason cleaned up straggling paint supplies, and then I gave the hardwood floors one last good vacuum.

good work, kruger.

Before 8 am, the nursery looked like this…

nursery floor, pre-carpet

By 8:30am, after a lot of pounding and banging from upstairs, it was looking a bit more like this…

And now? It looks like this!…

Kruger could hardly stand all of the excitement and was wholeheartedly determined to check things out after the installers left. I thought it best to let him sniff around for a minute. His vote? Tails’s up!

kruger checks out the new carpet. just once. 🙂

As for me, it was love at first “squish!”

ahhhh...

My toes are pleased, and I’m certain that baby’s will be, too. It’s sooooo soft and lovely.

don't they LOOK happy?!

The new carpet is light and fresh and just the right color, and I’m oh-so-delighted to have it in. Now we can put the crib and bookshelf together and start putting baby things where they’ll go. Next up? A crib mattress, bedding (in progress) and the dresser/changing table (still hunting for something that’s juuuuuust right!)

watching it all come together. hurray!

mm

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baby’s best friend. (67)

Since we transitioned our bedroom into the nursery, Kruger (our two year old black lab) has been a little inside out. He made the move with us across the hall, consequently losing his space in the nook, his favorite window, and all rights to the baby’s room on the whole. At first it was because we were painting, but now it’s because baby is coming and I can’t stand the idea of dog hair in the new carpet, the crib, or anywhere else the little one is going to rest his or her sweet head.

This has been torturous for the clingy pup, who likes to follow my belly around everywhere (and especially into the closet and forbidden nursery). When the door opens, it’s obvious that he’s already calculated his next move as he darts past to sniff out the latest baby toy or shower gift. This morning was no exception.

Admittedly, sometimes I cave. He’s too cute, and fairly hard to resist. He made his way into my closet and cozied up on the floor under my hanging clothes. He was, as usual, inconveniently underfoot; I eventually shooed him out and finished getting ready sans my four-legged friend.

As I was leaving the house a bit later, I poked my head into our room to say goodbye to the little (ok, big) guy, but he wasn’t curled up in the usual spot on his bed. I assumed Kruger had followed Jason downstairs and was on the couch or elsewhere roaming around. But as I went to leave and called him one more time, I didn’t hear the familiar jingle of his collar anywhere in the house. He almost always follows me to the door, and something just didn’t sync up. I went on a little Kruger hunt here and there, and wound up upstairs again–no dog in sight. None, that is, until I opened up the nursery door. There, in the middle of the room, Kruger was all sprawled out and looking up at me as if to say, “What’s up, mom? And why’d you close me in here?”

I had to laugh. But more than that, I’m so thankful I had the little inkling to check on him. Sneaky as he is, I didn’t realize he’d cozied up again in the nursery, and I would have left him there all day with every baby thing and the leftover paint supplies to boot.

Kruger made his way downstairs and wagged me off to work as is routine. And I drove away thinking about how short-lived my ban on dogs in the nursery will probably last. I’d imagine just about until a 3am feeding, when the pup curls up on the floor at my side as I nurse and rock the baby back to sleep.

Our fine furry friend might be sneaky, but he’s as sweet as can be, too. He and the babe will be fast friends, I’m sure, and keeping them apart just won’t work. Kruger has become part of the furniture around here, it’s safe to say. Very few Kehrers in this household can go without a dose of him for too long and, well…apples don’t fall very far from trees 🙂

grateful for our trusty–albeit tricky, canine companion.

mm

sleepy in the sunshine.

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trusty companion. (85)

It’s been a long few days around here, but after Wednesday’s events, Jason’s being sick until this morning and my getting sick last night, one thing is certain–Kruger is a trusty and concerned companion for the journey. Even as I write this, he is at my feet by the couch and waiting for me to head to bed in a short bit. Normally, he puts himself to bed between 9 and 10pm each night; he gives us one last look and then heads upstairs to call it a day. But when we’re sick? Wandering around the house with a glazed over look and napping more than usual? Kruger checks in every so often to make sure everything’s kosher. I’m convinced he’s even less needy when we’re under the weather.

What is it about a dog’s uncanny sense that something is out of sorts, I wonder? I’m convinced that Kruger has known for a long time that “mom’s pregnant,” with his ever increasing attentiveness to me and his determination to follow me wherever I go. He models our behavior and mood, glancing over with a gloomy look on his face as if to say, “I hope this passes soon, Mom. This makes me uneasy. Are you ok?”

Some people are dog people, others prefer cats, and some, absolutely no animal at all. I know I gripe sometimes about our frequent need for a vacuum around here, or the fact that Kruger just tracked snow all over a clean kitchen floor, but really…the upkeep factor seems a small price to pay for a dog who certainly “has our backs,” so-to-speak.

Tomorrow, when I’m feeling better (I hope) and things are bit more back to normal around here, I can guarantee that Kruger will be back to his usual self as well. His tail will come wagging on my side of the bed in the morning, the familiar thump-thump-thump waking me from a comfortable sleep or saving me from getting up too late. He’ll string us along as can be expected, come running when he hears the sound of the ice maker and look longingly at the back door when he’d like to play in the snow. I love the “little” guy (who happens to turn two on Monday:).

We’re looking forward to introducing him to the baby in a few more months, and we know that he’ll be just as trusty a companion then as he’s ever been.

kruger with jason. floor time!

telling kruger he's going to be a big brother 🙂

at the tulip time parade, one month after we brought him home. love.

the fam at dogarama in downtown zeeland this past august. makes me smile!

definitely a dog person,

mm

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merry christmas. love, the kehrers.

2010 marks the first year that we stayed home for Christmas in its entirety. We’ve both been away for two Christmases before, but there were thousands of miles between us and our families then, and being just on the other side of the lake and still not “home for the holidays” feels very different. Still, in our own way, we’ve celebrated Christmas together in our little house this year. We’ve pondered what next year will be like, and how very different the holidays will feel with a little one in our midst. We’ve been grateful, reflective, restful. We’ve missed people we love, and loved people we miss, and we’ll probably always look back on this particular holiday as “the one that felt quiet and calm.” (In moments, I think we’d agree it feels almost too calm, but we’re certain that a baby will change all of that 🙂

And a baby did. 2,010 years ago. It feels good to celebrate Christ with intention, no matter how the schedule looks, what we’re having for dinner, or who we’re having it with. And it feels personal to be here in this house on our last quiet Christmas as “just us.” As much as I have longed for the busyness of family and food and presents in the silent spaces of the day, I’m also grateful for rest and good food and the company of my husband as we soak in what the upcoming year will bring.

Tonight, we wish you all of the most delightful parts of Christmas–along with the peace that comes in embracing Christ and His presence in our lives at this time of year. We pray that you have had your fill–of food, of gifts and gift-giving, and most significantly, of a sense of place and belonging in and amongst the bustle of the holidays.

From our home to yours this evening…

oh, Christmas tree!

oh, Christmas tree 🙂

i love the house at Christmastime!

nativity. the very best part.

stockings! (and one for baby k, just for kicks:)

joy!

wintry dining room table.

thanks to the timer...family photo!

baby k at christmas. 22 weeks!

kruger, caught in the act. merry christmas, fella.

grace and peace, always.

mm, jmk, baby k and kruger 🙂

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home in a little blue house.

Whenever we travel home to Chicago, I’m always grateful for time with family and the chance to catch up on the weeks or months that have taken place in between our last visit and the one we’re sharing over the latest holiday. I’m also always grateful to come home, and to settle back into life in our little house in this little town.

I like it here, and I like the world we’ve created around us.

I think I used to be somehow afraid to make my own life, hours away from family and where we grew up–and close, only to things that are new to our lives since becoming adults and coming into our own selves. There are pieces of family and home that were once hard to say goodbye to, even if we knew we’d revisit them and go back to where all of the memories from childhood had their day. Nowadays, the people are still hard to say goodbye to when we go. But the places (and sometimes the spaces) grow less and less difficult to leave. When we come home, I’ve missed our bed, the toilet that runs through the night, our bookshelves brimming with titles, and the quirkiness of an 80 year old house. I like watching Kruger run around comfortably because he knows each room and corner and smell. I like it when we’re all tucked in and curled up for the night where we belong.

It feels like there’s been a lot of heartache at home (amongst family) as of late–job loss and illness, strained relationships, economic hardship, life slipping away. My inclination as a person is to want to fix it all and to make everything as good as new. If I could, I’d carry a magic wand around with me and wave off difficult circumstances. I’d pray away all of the complications and worries that have piled up around people we love. Going home makes all of these challenges very fresh again, and coming home from them, I’m left feeling as if wounds have been opened up anew in my heart. It’s been hard to learn that I can’t make everything right, and that no matter how hard I may be inclined to try, it’s not always my job.

Coming home after a holiday weekend suddenly makes the new life we’ve created very tangible to me again. It outlines and highlights the things I’m responsible for, the items I’m called to make a priority, the role I’ve been given to play. And even as I struggle to leave other things simply to prayer and compassion and love, I recognize that I have primary responsibilities as a wife and a mother where they didn’t once use to be. I’m thankful for this. I’m grateful for a few things that I know have to be a priority before the rest. It isn’t that I want to put anything aside, or that I love anyone less than I’ve ever loved them before, but there’s freedom in being able to define what has to come first.

It’s amazing how God is already using this little baby (who I now feel and SEE kicking and moving in my belly on a daily basis!), to teach me things about family and priorities and home. When I carry the burden and weight of too many other things, I’m now responsible for what toll it might take on my body, and consequently, what toll that might take on our unborn child. More than that, I’m also responsible for what toll it might take on our marriage. Priorities. Clarity. Definition.

I have been so blessed with family, for many years, from many angles. But now there’s one family that comes absolutely first, without exception. And it lives in my house. Our house. In a little town where we’ve created and are busy creating home. My heart will always stretch across the big lake on over to the other side, but it has to be here first. I would expect to be called to nothing less. So this, tonight, is me handing everything else over to God again and asking Him to take the heartache and burden and pain and to carry it. I just can’t do it on my own, and it’s harrowing to try. This is me setting down my worry in the best way I know how, and putting it to bed with the day. It will be there tomorrow, I know, but maybe it will be there in a little bit lighter form. Meanwhile, I have baby to nourish and a husband to care for and a family to nurture. There is life in this place. May it grow, and grow, and grow.

for the joy of the Lord,

mm