MollyMadonna.com

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short and sweet. (79)

It’s awfully late tonight as I begin this post, and I’m wondering if it’s really possible that we’re down to counting through the 70s this week…I can hardly believe it.

Today was a mash up of busy kiddos, errands in the hot temps of July, a park playdate, testing limits, uplifting conversation and small stretches of quiet. It was a maxed out day in many ways, and a refueling day in others.

I wrestled with things, like how to best parent our littles in high intensity moments at home while keeping my cool, how to best address an expanding to do list while still offering attention to Henry and Eloise, and how I hope/want to approach this next labor and birth (which I’ll expound on in another post when I arrive there:) ).  These issues are not all on the same plane, I realize, but they did all claim brain power and emotional energy from yours truly since the sun came up.

The summer heat has not gotten the best of me until now. I won’t camp here for the duration of this pregnancy (I do love being pregnant in the summer time!), but I’ll just admit for memory’s sake that today was a hot one. And I think I stayed out in it just a bit too long. We were all melting a little on our way home from the park this afternoon.

Baby is very active tonight (and every night), doing some kind of flinching, earthquake-ish sort of dance. I can’t tell at all what’s what or what is moving where. I just feel baby everywhere and appreciate the signs of a growing life wherever I can find them.

I am processing a lot about a lot of things, wishing I always exercised perfect judgment on staying quiet in some areas while being more vocal on others. There is delicate balance to aim for, for sure. I’ll keep trying.

The clock has rolled past midnight and I can hardly keep my eyes open as I type. It’s time for this mama to get to bed in prep for another day that will most assuredly be full of new adventures tomorrow.

tired and processing, but in a good way.

mm

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decisions, decisions. (81)

Now that our largest de-cluttering effort is behind us, I feel like the mental space around me has opened up, too. My brain hit the ground running this morning as we started the new week, and all of the things that were back-burnered for a few weeks are again at the forefront of my mind. It’s exciting!

I love being able to take physical steps toward baby’s arrival, even if that’s a far more simple process for us this time around. Sure, we have most of the baby gear we need, but that just means we can make careful decisions on the few things we’ve left to get for this little one, and then we can make some fun choices, too.

Baby will be sleeping in Eloise’s old room, which I call the nursery now because saying “baby’s room” felt kind of abrupt and unfair to E when we first moved her over to share with Henry. I actually think she loves sharing a room with her big brother, but since her dresser and some of her things are still across the hall, I also think it can be a little confusing some days. Right now, the nursery is in transition mode, but much farther down the path toward baby’s room than it was when it was filled with garage sale items a week ago.

When Henry was born, I found a fabric that I absolutely loved and wanted for his crib bedding, and my mom knocked it out of the park putting things together for me just as I’d pictured, with coordinating fabrics from the same line in all of the right places (she’s good like that 😉 ). I leaned into my love of giraffes the first time around, so yellows and grays and neutral tones dictated the space. I was so happy with how it turned out, feeling a bit more masculine than feminine, which went with my hunch about baby’s gender. A girl would have slept just fine in that cozy room, but I’m glad it worked out to be Henry’s space. Below are a few pics from my original post about H’s nursery:

For Eloise, we painted baby’s room a beachy, pale blue, and we accented things in red, mustard and olive. I had a hunch she was a girl, and I knew that if she was girl we’d name her Eloise, so I pulled from my attraction to all things Indian and used things like a sari blanket, a red metal lantern, paisley and floral patterns, a pouf ottoman and elephants to accent the room. When “Ellie” (although I’m still stuck on Eloise) was born, it felt perfect for her. I never did post her nursery photos in a 100 days post, but here are a few from before we welcomed her home (sans wall decor, but you get the idea 😉 ):

Now that this little bambino is coming along, it’s time to personalize the pale blue room for another babe. I love the idea that they’d all have their own nursery, and it helps me to feel connected to baby as I work toward a space that feels right for each one. This go-around though, I’ve had a terrible time gaining any insight as to the gender of our little bean. I have a boy’s name absolutely stuck in my head, but 75% of people who weigh in with their thoughts say girl, and Eloise is pushing hard for a girl, too. I’m waiting for Henry to make his determination, because he was adamant about Eloise last time and I trust his intuition as much as anyone’s. Jason and I just kind of shrug our shoulders and say, “It is what it is!” whenever we talk about baby’s gender as a family. I’m trusting that God knows what will add to our family dynamic best, and I’m excited to see who He’s chosen as the next little delight in our lives.

Gender curiosities on the table, I decided to stick to a theme that involved animals again, but wanted to incorporate calm, earthy tones and nothing too bright or bold. We’ve added a twin guest bed to the nursery now, and the bed and baby’s crib are both white. With the beachy walls, the white furniture and our proximity to a beautiful body of water, I’ve decided to slant the nursery in a nautical direction this time around. I’m excited about the little details as they’re coming together, and I’ll be thrilled to share the final product as baby’s arrival gets closer.

There are so many amazing things about pregnancy, and truly, I think nesting and preparing a welcoming space for baby are among them. For the first part of pregnancy, so many days go by where it feels like there’s not a lot to do to prepare for such a life changing event. Eating well, praying, and trying to wrap your mind around a new person in your life are plenty big charges, but in a tangible way, I think most of us only start preparing for the physical space and needs of a baby come our second and third trimesters.

So we’re here now, and I’m so happy about it. Baby’s arrival seems more palpable by the day, and creating a space where I know I will rock and sing and nurse baby to sleep night after night is good for my heart. He or she is becoming a reality slowly but surely. The changes around here are evidence, and I’m grateful.

81 days, more or less, until we’re snuggling our tiniest bundle. When I started 100 days this time it felt so far away, but just look at the countdown passing by!

speaking life over this baby and the room that will soon be his or hers. prepping for babies never gets old to me!

mm

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garage sale love and the long blink. (83)

I’m going to keep tonight’s update short and sweet, because this morning’s wake up came much too soon after I went to bed last night, and today was a full, full day. We have all been doing the long blink since about 3:30p. 😉

Our “let’s become minimalists” garage sale was a success! I’m looking around here now and feeling like we could have another one already, not just because there’s still plenty in the house we could live without, but because letting go of things provided a very lovely natural high today. It was so fun to see people buy things that they were excited about, and ones that they or someone else they loved could enjoy. My favorite encounters included a man who stopped right at the end of the sale because he saw a rug that “spoke to him,” and that he knew his wife would love. What a sweet guy! Then there was a delightful family who came to browse and ended up buying a few fun things to gift to their littlest, who turns one this coming weekend. And the gentleman who came and picked out some of our more vintage items–he was great to talk with and certainly had an eye for things with character and history. So nice!

There is something about someone else appreciating a thing that you’ve moved on from–it lends life to the object, and I think brings joy to the buyer and the seller alike. So much of what has been sitting dormant in our space is living elsewhere tonight, and finding better purpose and use. It’s a beautiful thing.

Each time we have a garage sale, we meet more people from our neighborhood and make more lovely connections. I had a blast just chatting with people today, hearing their stories and learning more about what makes individuals tick. It was an unseasonably cool day here for July, and I think lots of folks were just out and about to enjoy the cool temps (and probably to find something to do when their beach day got bumped to tomorrow :/ ) Whatever the case, we live among amazing people in an amazing community. Days like today remind me so much about why I love it here.

The very best part of the whole day was watching the kids come out of their shells after a little while from behind their lemonade stand. Henry and Eloise both gained confidence as time went on, and Henry even tried to explain a little about Preemptive Love to strangers. Our duo poured lemonade and offered cookies, waiting patiently for new customers to engage. And people showed up and supported two of my very favorite little hearts in a big way. (Special thanks to the friends who stopped by just to support their cause!) By the time we closed up shop, our lemonade stand novices-turned-pros had raised $78.50 to send overseas. I am so proud of their enthusiasm and tenacity, and also that they learned throughout the day how to better connect with people and to think outside of our little corner of the world.

When we wrapped up the sale, Jason took two car loads of leftover items down the street and we put away only a rubbermaid tub and a few more salable items in the garage to put on Craigslist this coming week. If there are takers, great, but if not, we’ll make one last trip over to the donation center and bid goodbye to the stuff that’s just stuff. It’s a good and freeing feeling to have moved on from it all, especially before baby gets really close. Now it feels like we can think about the next exciting step in baby-readying around here, whether we decide that’s painting a room, working on the nursery, or decluttering even a bit more.

After the driveway was back to its natural state (Thank you, Jason, stuff mover extraordinaire!), we got to celebrate one of our favorite little buddies on his third birthday. It was such a sweet thing to be pregnant at the same time as his mama three years ago, much like it is to be pregnant alongside my beautiful sister with our third babies now. Celebrating Max tonight was a good reminder of just how blessed we are to be so surrounded by friends and people we love, and also just how fleeting time can be and how much we should soak it all in while we can. Eloise will be three in just six short weeks, even though it was yesterday that we were taking bump pictures of our very pregnant bellies in the backyard. What a gift these kiddos are in our lives…

completely zoned and ready for bed, but she sure did love her face paint (and was determined to wear her "party dress" to celebrate, too. :)

completely zoned and ready for bed, but she sure did love her face paint (and was determined to wear her “party dress” to celebrate, too. 🙂

I have mental space tonight that I didn’t have yesterday. I love it so much. And I’m tired and fairly uncomfortable, but in a rewarding way. These aches and pains are a sign of a productive day, which feels really, really good. No complaints here on that front as I fall into bed. The house is quiet as can be, and we’re all going to enjoy the rest that comes after a full and busy and life-giving day.

lighter and feeling content tonight. i’d do a little dance if it wouldn’t hurt 😉

mm

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minimalism and lemonade. (84)

So much of life is about making room, isn’t it? And when we don’t, the physical and emotional piles can stack up to what feels like an insurmountable height. That is, unless we’re good at tucking things away…

We’ve lived in our house for almost eight years, and although our storage spaces are an interesting challenge because it’s an older home, we’ve gotten pretty creative about putting things out of sight. It’s easy to think we’ll need or use something again, justifying our “clutter” so long as it’s organized into bins and boxes. We’ve added a large dog and two kids to the mix around here since our early married days, and a lot of “stuff” has accumulated in the process.

I’m not sure how many trips we make to the nearby donation center each year, but in spite of those visits, we’ve still looked around here lately and felt like a much more drastic de-cluttering was necessary. The itch began even before we went to a screening of Minimalism in May, but viewing the film together pushed Jason and I both to a new level of desiring clarity in our space. We decided to play the Minimalist’s 30-day Minimalism Game, which meant we would both aim to get rid of a total of 450+ items in the month of July.

900 fewer things in our house sounded crazy, but also awesome. So the piles began.

We’ve tossed plenty of items in the past month, but there’s also a lot here that still has so much life left in it, so we decided a garage sale was likely around the corner. I’m not sure having a garage sale in July in your third trimester with two small kids running around is a brilliant idea, but I’m certain that de-cluttering is, so tomorrow’s the day.

The house looks insane. Truly. There are things everywhere. Jason’s been pricing in the garage and I’ve been on the hunt in long-forgotten spaces around here for things of potential value or use or treasure to someone else. We moved the dining room table to the side of the room today and just filled it with things. I’m both twitchy (at the ridiculous mess) and excited to see the amount of items that will exit our house tomorrow morning, never to return.

Can someone tell me why I've been hanging on to these all this time? Tomorrow...out the door. Wish I'd been taking pictures all day, but I'll be sure to take more of the fun tomorrow.

Can someone tell me why I’ve been hanging on to these all of this time? Tomorrow…out the door. Wish I’d been taking pictures all day, but I’ll be sure to capture more of the fun tomorrow.

We make a deal when we have garage sales (which happen once every few years because we are not big fans of this process). Nothing that goes out comes back in. It finds a new home. So whatever people don’t want to buy tomorrow, someone else can find next week at our favorite thrift store down the street. But they won’t find it here. I’m thrilled about that part. I am praying that lots of people will come and be able to enjoy things that would love a good home. Poor Jason has to do all of the heavy lifting on his own while I just move small piles from here to there, so the more that walks off the driveway, the better. It will be so good to get to 3 or 4pm tomorrow afternoon. 🙂

We’re also looking forward to our kiddos’ first lemonade stand in the morning (so if you live nearby and you’re out and about in the morning, come say hello)! We asked Henry to think about something that he would like to raise money for, and I love where he landed. Remember when I shared about Preemptive Love just over a week ago? Henry has been drawn to the stories of refugees since the crisis began, and when we talk about what’s happening in Fallujah and how people are living without basic health and safety needs right now, he jumps right to the kids and wonders what it’s like for them. I’ve explained about leaving their homes and all of their belongings, and the feelings of fear they have in the refugee camps without guaranteed shelter and safety. It bothers him that they have to wear just the clothes they have on and what they can carry. I love his heart.

We chatted about the people in Fallujah a bit more tonight, and he said, “Mom, I think when we send the money, we should make little invitations to send with it, inviting those families to come here and live with us.” Oh, sweet, sweet boy. If only we could do exactly that.

But we can do something, so tomorrow, we’ll have lemonade here, and the kids will accept donations to send to Preemptive Love toward their efforts to provide food and clean water to refugees. My hope is that this will be the first of many lemonade stands for a cause on our driveway.

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These popsicles were pretty cool, but lemonade for good is even cooler! Come see us tomorrow!

The clock is ticking on pricing and sorting and piling and such for tomorrow, so I’m off to get back to garage sale to-dos. Surely we will all rest well tomorrow night when we’re through!

making room for baby and sipping lemonade, one day at a time,

molly madonna

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sweet gramma lady. (89)

“Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay a while, leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” -Flavia Weedn

July 3rd just can’t come and go on any year without thoughts of one of my favorite people in the world. Today would have been Gramma Donna’s 86th birthday, and I selfishly wish we could have celebrated it together.

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Celebrating Gramma’s 75th birthday, 11 years ago.

I’ve thought a lot lately about how my days and plans might be different if Gramma were still with us–trips to Chicago to visit with the kiddos, phone calls at rest time in the afternoon so Henry could say hello and Gramma and I could catch up a while. When I drive somewhere at a distance, I miss being able to dial her number, still able to hear her “Hello?” on the other end of the line.

It’s hard for me that these babies of ours will never know her. Henry knows of her, surely, and he’s seen photos of himself with her from when he was very small. But Eloise? She and the baby I’m growing now will never know the lady who could get right to the very closest parts of my heart, and I hate that. I really do. As much as Gramma was one of my best friends my whole life, she was amazing with babies, and I would have loved for her to snuggle ours for so much longer.

We are fortunate to have had so many years with the beauty who ushered our family through everything with grace. She was the hostess with the mostest, whether we gathered as a whole family, or even if it was just me walking through the door. She loved Jason. She treasured Henry for the time she had. I’m so thankful she could know my boys and that I could share that part of my life with her. But there are so many good bits that we’ve had to leave out…

I am a different wife, mother and friend than I was the day that Gramma died. A lot has changed. I hope that she would know me now and be proud of the woman I’m growing into–I still run things through a WWGT (what would Gramma think) filter often, which just means to me that she was every bit as special to my heart as she seemed for all of those years.

Gramma pops up in places from time to time and I don’t mind a bit: A DVD from my Hope chest that Henry found not long ago, recording Christmas from when I was six and Gramma was wearing my favorite blouse and polyester pants. Even then, I was snuggled close to her on the couch whenever I had the chance. She just knew me and she knew my heart, and I think I sensed that way deep down from when I was very small. A gold chain, strung around my neck every single day. Eloise asked last week if I ever take it off, but I don’t. I like it there, where a little part of Gramma still feels close and tangible. Towels in the linen closet, some still unfolded, from her closet at home. They still smell like her and look like her, memories of sleepovers at her house and baths in the pink bathtub when I was young still trailing along with them.

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Soaking up every word, circa 1985. I was three.

Everything about Gramma was pure to me. My earliest memories have her in them. My greatest moments growing up do, too. Birthdays, musicals, school events, holidays, award ceremonies, recitals. She’d not miss a one.

There is so much to be said for having had someone in my life who was like a parent to me, but removed from a parental role. In that way, she could always be my confidant, a home away from home, a soft place to land. Today on her birthday and on so many other days, too, I miss her deeply, with an ache and a void that only the hope of Heaven can fill. Time does soften the space left behind, it’s true. But nothing can quite fill it. My heart tells me that’s a good thing; she was one of a kind in my life. Still, I hated losing her, and I hate that she’s gone. It really won’t ever be the same.

For all of the good and the joy and the parts of me she represents, I am thankful and changed. And I couldn’t ask for anything more than that from all those years of loving someone so wonderfully good.

Happy Birthday, sweet Gramma lady,

molly madonna