I am in love. With my babies. With this season. With the beach. With all of God’s perfect creation swirling around me so tangibly. It doesn’t really matter how hard it can feel sometimes. This motherhood thing? It is 100% holy and pure and good.
amazed.
mm
Today has been a delightful day. All day long, H has been wishing me a happy birthday–taking my face in his little chubby hands and getting up really close to whisper it to me like a beautiful secret. Have I mentioned I love my boys? And this precious babe doing flip flops in my belly? Somehow, the gift of life inside makes celebrating my own birthday particularly poignant and sweet this year.
I woke up this morning and had a good snuggle with the munchkin. On my way downstairs for breakfast, Henry met me with a trio of birthday balloons. He and J and Grammy (J’s mom) had blown up a whole bunch and decorated the living room with festive color. Then of course, H helped me to open my birthday gift (“Here Mommy! It’s a car!”), along with sweet birthday cards, a new top from Grammy, and the like. Mid-morning, we headed out to meet my mom, dad, stepmom and stepsister for brunch and had the loveliest time. Despite the drizzly and chilly day outside, my birthday was looking up!
Next up on the festivities list? A visit to IKEA for nursery accoutrements and random two dollar treats for H. For a couple with family living ten minutes from the big blue destination, we sure hadn’t been in a long time! It was fun to dream up ideas and visualize the Button’s space becoming more of a reality in the days to come. 28 weeks today, world! We’re getting ever closer to meeting our babe!
The rest of the day was nice and mostly normal…packing up to come home, making the return drive to our side of the lake, picking up ice cream from our favorite place on the way for a late night treat (it’s waiting in the freezer for me to hit publish on this post at this very moment ;). H conked out in the car for the ride home and summed up my evening sentiments quite nicely, new IKEA truck nestled safely in his lap:
We returned to the little blue house at the tail end of it all, and tucked the small one into bed with hardly a fuss. Now I’m just sitting here grateful–for all of the fullness of the day and the richness of my life here on this planet in such a time as this. It has been a weekend abundant with celebration!
I am so fortunate to be surrounded and loved, so blessed by dear friends and family and life all around me!
h told me all weekend that i was going to have a chocolate cake with brownies on top and colored things. i’d say this does the trick!
here’s to thirty one! it’s gonna be a beautiful year, i think. 😉
mm
When I wake up tomorrow, I’ll be 31. And I don’t have much emotion attached to the age or the year, but I always love the way that birthdays afford us the sense of a fresh start. I have no doubt that these next 365 will hold plenty of surprises. Life is about to take several turns in what I anticipate will be a positive and God-evident direction. I’m sure that there will be curve balls along the way, but we know that those come with the territory of being alive. And I really enjoy being alive 🙂
Outside of knowing when our little one is due and recognizing that our daily life will change dramatically with the new addition, I really can’t pretend to see incredibly far down the road at the moment. I kind of like it that way. It’s fun to think about this upcoming year as being defined by anticipatory delight.
One thing I know for sure is that I’m looking up. In my mind, there’s no other way to approach the unknown outside of expecting the best and giving things the benefit of the doubt. I’m doing my very best to be thankful and to show gratitude–outwardly, sure, but especially to God. I look around me and all I see is His goodness, more and more. A growing assurance of this, even in the midst of trials or challenges, is what moves me forward into this next year without fear. Only joy. I am claiming joy. And joyfully turning another year older. The number doesn’t matter much to me, but how I spend it, who I spend it with, and how I honor God in the midst are all foremost on my mind.
eager to see what God will do (and especially who He has waiting for us come august!) in the next 365.
with a grateful heart,
mm
85! How did we get here? I have mixed emotions about being this close to baby #2, but mostly, I’m just excited. Excited to find out if this wee one is a boy or girl, excited to make H a big brother, excited to see what life will look like for our little family in the months ahead. Some think we’re crazy for not knowing the gender–and believe me, the wait feels long–but I can say confidently that not knowing builds up so much more anticipation for us. I love that moment of surprise far more than I love the idea of knowing from now until then. Henry is convinced he knows, so it will be fascinating if he’s right. The two seem quite in sync with one another already–a joy for this mama in the process of growing the Button.
On the subject of Henry, today was one of those days I wished I’d had a notepad along for every conversation. The kid cracked me up all day. Perhaps he’ll make you smile with a remark or two as well…
-As we headed out to the car this morning (a loaner, because mine was getting new brakes today), H says to me, “There’s our Tahoe! It has two car seats in it! One for me…and one for Emmelia!” (Emmelia is H’s younger and oh-so-adorable cousin, who lives quite far away). “No, buddy. I’m sorry. There’s not a seat for Emmelia. I wish there were. But you know what?! When the baby comes, Emmelia is going to come and visit! Won’t that be great?!” “Yeah,” he replied. Five plus hours later at the car shop swapping out vehicles, Henry tells a friend of ours (while patting my belly), “I’m having a baby! It’s a girl! And I will hold it nicely and make it calm. And then…Emmelia will come! She’s a baby, too!” Oh, my. I just love how toddlers think. The connection from this morning’s conversation was priceless. And I adore his excitement over his cousin. Makes my heart warm.
-At the pool today, Henry saw his swim instructor from a few months back. “Mr. Dan” is a kid favorite–always swapping high fives and encouraging the little ones that they’re great. Henry still asks about him at random, months after his lessons ended. A few days ago, H refused to say hello to Mr. Dan. Instead, he hid himself behind my leg, made a theatrical pouty face, and said, “I can’t. I’m shy.” If you’ve ever met H, you know he’s not the least bit shy. Regardless–and despite the fact that we’d talked about being polite and nice and friendly when someone we know says hello, Henry refused Mr. Dan’s high five again this morning. Later in the day though, after a whole lot of fun swimming, H must have been in better spirits. When Mr. Dan came over to ask Little Man about his time at the pool, Henry talked his ear off for five minutes. The best part? When Mr. Dan said, “I’m so glad you decided to say hello to me today. High five! You made my day!” and Henry replied, “Yeah! AND your weekend time!” How can you not laugh sometimes? Two year old conversations are the best.
A few other comments that brightened the day…
-When I told H that I need to sit for a few minutes because my stomach hurt: “Here’s a Jaguar (matchbox car). That can make you feel better.” Love.
-Handing me a different car later on: “It’s a crocodile race car…from my birthday! I’ve never seen one of those driving down the road!”
-“Look!! I found my screwdriver under the couch! It was just sleeping under there.”
And when I asked him if I could have a cake for my birthday this weekend:
“Yep!” “Thanks, Buddy! What kind of cake?” (assuming a MINI Cooper cake, of course.) “A chocolate one. With brownie kinds of things on top. And colored things on it.”
Um, love this kid.
He really does make me smile. Daily. And I realize that it’s such a gift to have a small person in my life who adds laughter and brings joy. This parenting thing isn’t for the faint of heart, but all of the goodnesses that come with it sure do make all of the hard parts worthwhile!
grateful for all of the chatter.
mm
Two years and three months ago, a crazy blizzard hit our hometown hard–so hard that everything (besides the indomitable local coffee shop) was closed. No one was going anywhere. That particular morning, Jason was outside shoveling feet of snow and I was inside on the couch, almost 28 weeks pregnant, and having contractions every five or so minutes apart. The day got really interesting from there: a call to the on-call dr. at the hospital led to an unexpected outing, a morning spent on monitors, me talking myself off the ledge about having a baby at 28 weeks, and J spiking a fever of 104 at its worst. Turns out major (quick) changes in barometric pressure can cause funny things to happen…and going into false labor would be one of them. Noted. We returned home exhausted and relieved, and didn’t welcome Henry into the world for another eleven weeks. Good little man stayed nice and put until just the right time.
Fast forward to tonight, and the realization over dinner that I was, indeed, having fairly intense Braxton-Hicks contractions–right near 28 weeks along. Maybe this is just my body’s fascinating way of preparing for every baby, or maybe it has something to do with the fact that storms have been rolling in and out of the area all week and the temps have shifted 50 degrees in 36 hours. Regardless, I’ve decided that practicing labor is more than unnecessary this time around, so we’ll be done having said contractions from now until it’s really go time, thankyouverymuch. In the moment (ok, hour), I did what any clear-headed mama would do. I excused myself from the dinner table, took a five minute break on the couch, and declared it time for a walk with the munchkin. After all, we hadn’t explored nearly enough together yet today, and I knew a distraction would do me good. What will resolve B-H contractions in no time? Well, precisely the following…
First, you’ll need a toddler and a reliable plastic vehicle (preferably a $6 garage sale procurement in the form of a John Deere Tractor):
Next, it helps to wave at the neighbors for a little while:
After that, you’ll probably want to take inventory to be sure that both (or all) of your children are along for the adventure:
Check.
To really make the experience more pleasant, it’s good to admire the blooming flowers and local landscape for a bit:
And supposing it starts to drizzle as another storm rolls in, it’s best to spend a little time in search of pill bug families on the porch:
If you have luck in finding any, your next move should likely be to designate appropriate names for each pill bug, using monikers like “Mommy,” “Daddy,” and “Henry,” or other such titles that are readily familiar:
Next, wander around the yard for a while admiring the newest plantings and grass seeding efforts. Hard working people (like husbands/dads) seem to appreciate this sort of thing– and plus, it’s a good way to get involved in the fun:
After a time, make your way “back home” and indoors on account of the threatening thunder, but be sure to note the beauty of distraction and the delightful nature of Springtime as you go:
And certainly, remind yourself that B-H contractions are just part of the process, that all will be well, and that barometric pressure can simply be a bugger sometimes. Park the toy tractor for the night. Dust off the little one. Put on some comfy pajamas. Smile.
embracing the promising signs of change…and all of the practice 😉
mm
