Sometimes, after eight and a half months of cuddling and loving your sweet baby, you just need a girl’s night. Not because you want to leave your little one, or because you couldn’t live without a break, but because your friends are amazing. And because they refuel your spirit and give you the energy and stamina you need to get back in the mom game when you return home.
refueling tonight. thus the brevity 😉
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I was talking with a friend this afternoon about an anniversary trip she’s planning with her husband for the Spring. Almost all talk of travel is delightful in my book, but this conversation tugged at my heart in a real and fresh way as I transported myself back to two places I know the celebratory couple will absolutely LOVE…Cape Town and Kruger National Park, South Africa.
Oh how I covet a teleportation device for these two, breathtaking and incredible places in the world. Jason and I spent our first anniversary in Cape Town and its surrounds, soaking up every last bit of the mountains and ocean, cityscapes and rolling winery hills. I’m all for new adventure, dreaming of new places anytime the possibility of travel comes up, but offer me a ticket to Cape Town and I’m headed back to the inspirational city in a heartbeat!
And Kruger National Park. In a word: otherworldly. There are only so many places on this planet where you can drive a few hours out of the city and suddenly lose yourself in the phenomenal reality of the wild as it exists in Kruger National Park. We took several retreat-like weekends to Kruger when we lived in Johannesburg, and it is one of my favorite places in the world. Kruger captured us so much that we had to come home and name our first dog after the place! Waking up early, early in the morning to hopefully catch a glimpse of a lion pride enjoying its hard work from the night before…starting out “on the hunt” for the elusive “Big Five” (lion, leopard, elephant, rhino and Cape buffalo) and spotting them all in a day’s drive…watching herds of zebra, antelope, wildebeest, elephant making their way across the landscape…taking a night drive to spot all that takes place after hours in the wild…camping within the park and reliving the day’s adventure over a South African braai…
I so miss the ways that we saw God daily in the raw, natural, creative beauty of the African continent. Our life, for now, is here in the U.S., but undoubtedly, we’ve left pieces of ourselves across the pond.
After thinking again today about all of my favorite experiences in SA, I couldn’t help but rifle through a few albums of photographs tonight to bring back even more memories. There are literally thousands upon thousands of photos from our time there–of the people, places and traditions we grew to love. A lot about living in Africa was difficult, sure, but when we look back, it’s hard not to stand in awe of what God allowed us to be a part of for that season of our lives.
A few of my favorite snapshots from Cape Town and Kruger:
relocated. if only for a moment,
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It’s always beneficial to note the good that filled up the day, no?
My top five blessings on this post-holiday Wednesday:
1) Just what I needed to hear this morning in today’s Jesus Calling devotion over breakfast.
2) A great workout to warm me up on this chilly afternoon.
3) Five minutes of baby laughter caught on camera at dinnertime while I “scared” Henry over and over again. I don’t know where he gets it from, but he loves being surprised! Hysterical. I’ll watch it over and over again, I’m sure 😉
4) Henry learning, “SO big!” tonight, and raising his arms up over his head every time I ask, “How big is Henry?” Unquestionably my favorite little person. Ever.
5) New, clean sheets on the bed this evening. Can’t wait to tuck in! Bought them on Black Friday (one stop shopping at Target for sheets and a dustbuster…no 4am madness for this girl!), and saved them for the new year. Cozy!
All in all, not a bad Wednesday. I didn’t get to the grocery shopping, but then, there’s always tomorrow (a motto I’ve employed with increasing skill since becoming a mom:). I just can’t worry about not getting it all done. Used to. FInd myself backsliding occasionally. That is, until Henry is awake and ready to play in his room. Then the rest of the world grinds slowly to a halt until nap time…I just can’t pull myself away from the farm animals, the talking puppy, the chubby little race cars and the chubby little hands that hold them. I am so smitten.
counting the good,
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Shortly after the clock struck midnight last year, I committed this word to 2011, with the hope and prayer that I would adopt it in its fullness as I went about life, work and relationships. God was faithful to provide the guidance I needed as I pursued growth in the every day (in fact, when I searched for the word “grow” on my blog for the past 12 months, I was pleased to find it in no less than 78 entries:) Many things grew in my life the last calendar year, and as a result, I am yet again a changed and changing person as I look towards the next 12 months on this, the first day of the year.
I’m a little sad to let GROW sink back a bit into the periphery of my days (although there’s no doubt it will continue to bubble and simmer in the parts of me that became so close to the idea since last January 1st.) But I’m also all about the newness of things and the pursuit of something else to spur me along. I truly enjoy the process of becoming. Thus, after nearly a week of bouncing words around in my mind and trying to pray towards a solid focus for the days ahead, I have landed on what I think is the perfect word for 2012: embrace.
Consider it as defined by Merriam-Webster:
It’s true. I can’t. It’s 12:38am as I sit down to write this, but I just couldn’t go one more day without blogging. Life is flying by at a spectacular (and sometimes frightening) pace. In the midst of this (Henry’s first Christmas season and my first REAL crack at hosting Christmas in the little blue house) hurried and busied time of year, so much is happening that I don’t want to forget…never mind that there are things I want to say to the world at large on a daily basis that just plain get lost in the fray.
I’m saddened by this.
Because I’m still here, but not here. And writing is one of the things that moves my heart most, but I’m hardly doing it. I don’t blink long enough to even capture all of the memorable moments these days on a calendar–let alone in a lengthy blog post. Oh, I miss this.
A few reasons why my words fall (much to my chagrin) to the bottom of the list on any given day:
Numero Uno, and quite obviously: Henry. The very best reason. Not an excuse. Definitely a reason. Because I don’t want to miss a thing that he does during the day, because we eek out every last ounce of our playtimes in the nursery as a family at night, and because after Hank is down for the count, there is still plenty more day left for yours truly. When the to-do’s are done and settled, it is inevitably midnight or quite a bit later. Then, in the moment between “I think I’ll blog tonight” and “Molly, you have to get up in 5 hours,” the still small voice of my maternal conscience reminds me that my eyes should probably be open when I play with Henry in the morning. Yes. Sleep–even 4 or 5 hours of it, is necessary. And so is Henry. 🙂
#2: Sleep. Obviously this goes on the list. See above with questions.
#3: Home projects. When you own an old house (or any house) the list is never finished. I think this is especially true in an old house because it calls for attention in places that newer construction may not. This is the compromise for arched doorways and original hardwood floors and cozy bedroom nooks (all of which we love), among a thousand other features of an old home that make it unique and beautiful and simply us. But there is a considerable amount of time required to keep it up (or to update it), and in our case, to ponder the latest discovery of a crazy hack job done by any number of previous owners. Figuring out how to undo it and redo it correctly takes at least three times as long as just doing it right in the first place. So we make a lot of trips to Menards. And we learn a lot about what not to do from the people who have gone before us…and it’s possible that we sometimes think a few choice words in our heads. Not saying it’s right, just saying.
#4: Chores. I’m separating this out from #3, because home projects are more the kind of thing that take you down a rabbit trail of one thing to the next…to the next and maybe the next after that. You know, the kinds of things that consume whole weekends (not that we would know anything about that). Side thought: If Menards had a courier service, it would be brilliant. And we would probably pay for it. Wouldn’t you? At any rate, chores. Laundry. Dishes. Cleaning the bathrooms. Floors. Vacuuming up endless evidence of the black labrador who sheds in every season, at every opportunity. Did I mention laundry? General upkeep. You get the idea. The stuff you used to do begrudgingly when you were single and childless, that you now look forward to because it means a decently large sense of victory at the end of the day. Plus clean socks. Those help.
#5: Outside obligations. I’m talking meetings, work, ministry commitments, moms groups, play dates, etc. Mostly good and enjoyable, but hard to blog around. LOTS of material for great posts here, to be sure. Just not enough time to do so once you get the kiddo(s) home, changed, fed, burped, napped and ready for bed. So much gets lost between all of the spaces in the calendar these days. Things people said that mattered or made me laugh. Things I want to share with you here. Things that are hard, beautiful, stressful, amazing. I often end up filing them for “future use” instead. And there they sit. For forever.
#6: Communication glitches. Like that time a few weeks ago when I dropped my phone and rendered it incapable of typing. 🙂 That’s right. No texting or emailing from my “smart phone” anymore. One slip off my lap getting out of the car, and it’s officially a dumb phone from here on out. How does this relate? Backup of email replies and responses to the world = time spent at the computer late at night catching up. Also, our internet provider has been awesome lately, permitting access to all-things-Google only 4.5 out of 7 days this past week. That’ll throw a kink in the mix.
#7: Christmas. Yep, it’s Christmas. Ok, 7 days until Christmas. It’s my favorite holiday, and yet, this year all of the preparation is wearing on me in a new way. The efforts of putting up the tree and decorating the house, of wrapping perfect presents and preparing mouthwatering menus are piling on. And when I know the day will arrive regardless, and that we’ll celebrate the birth of Christ no matter how well-lit our abode, I just feel a little silly getting all worked up over the details. So why is it that it’s so hard not to? One more errand. One more gift. One more Type-A bow. I can’t help myself when I’m in it, and I don’t know how to be “out” of it, so I strive like most to create a perfect Christmas in my mind. I am certainly excited to celebrate Henry’s first Christmas here at home, but I wish I could shed all of the hurried preparation that comes with the general speed of the season. I know, the ball is in my court–I’m just being perfectly honest.
And so. Here we are. Over 1,000 words later and I’m obviously trying somehow to make up for lost time. Are you still reading? Am I still really awake?
Tomorrow there will be presents to wrap and more things to decorate. Cookies to bake and groceries to buy. But I’ll know when my feet hit the floor in the morning that I wrote for a while, and that it felt good. Just honest and a little bit raw and good. Because life is busy–for everyone, and it’s not always the big stuff that makes you feel small. Sometimes it’s just the piling on of thing after thing, the way that lists and obligations and quirky internet keep us from some of the parts of life that we love.
At any rate, I’m still here. Still scheming and dreaming and occasionally, freaking in about all of the things I need to do right now or tomorrow or later this week. Irrational, I know. And perfectly normal, I think.
I hope to be back sooner than later, of course. Henry is doing all kinds of fun things as of late, and I don’t want to miss the opportunity to record his latest antics and tricks! In the meantime, all is calm, all is bright. Truly. I’ll get there 🙂
mm
