February 21, 2011 by mollymadonna

the countdown jar. (68)

When Jason and I got engaged in December of ’06, my sister sent me a lovely gift–a countdown jar. I’d never seen one before, but the concept was brilliant…one item in the jar for each day between then and our wedding. There were candies and quotes and stickers and the like, and the emptier the jar got, the closer we were to the big event. I looked forward to the jar every day, because it showed tangible progress (And, let’s be honest. Who doesn’t like a sticker or a piece of candy before bed?). I emptied that jar excitedly as we prepared for our wedding. I also promised myself that when Bridget got married someday, I’d make her a jar as well.

Most normal people don’t attempt to plan a wedding in three months like we did, so there’s usually more than 70 or 80 days between a full countdown jar and an empty one. Bridget and her fiancé, Teddy, got engaged over Labor Day weekend, and began planning their wedding for June. When I gave Bridget her jar at Christmas, with instructions to begin it at the start of the new year, there were 176 items in the jar. She is counting down to June 25th, much like I am counting down to April 30th…or May 1st…or whatever the doctor’s office has declared my due date to be now. I filled the jar with random things and not-so-random things–stickers, saltwater taffy, little cardboard clocks meant for scrapbooking. A paper wedding dress with shoes and veil and flowers to match, the letter “A” for her new last name, root beer barrels and quotes and scripture folded into little squares. There are a few other things in the jar I won’t mention, because she’ll read this, and they’re a “surprise” for somewhere along the line. At any rate, the whole thing is meant to be fun and hopeful and celebratory as it goes along.

After a much-too-long hiatus of a few weeks, Bridget and I finally got the chance to catch up tonight over the phone. We talked about the usual things, shared a few anecdotes from our days, and discussed baby and wedding and logistics for both. And then we compared notes about counting down.

Counting down, we’ve agreed, can be hard to do. Especially when everyone around you is saying it will “be here before you know it!” While it’s true that (insert important event, ie. the birth of my first baby, her wedding day, etc.) will probably be here sooner than we think, 68 days and 123 days (respectively) feel like a long time in the process. Bridget made me laugh tonight when she shared a little bit about what her countdown jar means for her. As she talked, this blog post evolved without effort; she was both honest and witty, and now I can’t help but relate her reflection. “Sometimes I just think to myself,’ she said, ‘Ok…just take out something small…you’ll get married eventually.” If you could hear it in her voice, it would be even funnier–my 24 year old sister sharing her adult response to a very child-waiting-for-Christmas-morning kind of feeling in her heart. And I totally get it. “Ok…just a little blog tonight, Molly. That’s all. 100 is right around the corner.”

On a good day–or one that looks like it might be a good day, Bridget takes out a cardboard clock or a piece of saltwater taffy (so it doesn’t get hard in the jar :). On a day that promises to be long or tedious, she snags a folded up quote, or reaches in without looking for a surprise item that might bring a little extra joy. On the nights when she gets home from a long day of teaching and realizes she didn’t take anything out yet that day–bonus! I’m sure we can all relate to this kind of thinking when it comes to something anticipatory in our lives.

So tonight, and at the risk of this post getting any longer than it’s already become, I just want to recognize Bridget and our great conversation and her 123 remaining days. I love her take on things like countdown jars, and when we have a chat like we did this evening, I’m left simply thinking, “And that’s why we’re sisters!” Three hours after I picked up the phone, she summed up all of the waiting like this: “I take something out of the jar in the morning, I chart in the evening, and I take some vitamins in between…I just try to keep a healthy balance,” she quips with a smile in her voice. “That’s all I’m saying.”

I’m a big fan of Bridget’s, and I’m a big fan of counting down to whatever great thing lies in the distance–for either one of us.

it’ll be here before we know it. indeed.

February 16, 2011 by mollymadonna

thoughts for a wednesday. (73)

Today was busy and full. My thoughts took shape in every possible direction, and I soaked in all of the details, amazed and relieved that my ability to keep numerous things straight has seemingly returned. Naturally, I’m still letting some things simmer at this hour of the day, as I often do. But instead of being overly tired or overwhelmed by twelve hours away from the house in one stretch, I’m just content. There were plenty of random moments to laugh about, several to be grateful for and a few more that brought a sense of accomplishment. Tonight, I’m simply left with a smattering of random bits and pieces that I think are worth sharing for sharing’s sake:

-This morning, in an effort to get to our business phone before I missed a call, I nearly hurdled over the 25-ish lb. golden doodle puppy who hangs out where I work. Watching me attempt this particular feat at 7 months pregnant would probably have been comical on its own, but I scared the dog enough that he made a mad dash for the open exit to boot. His owner swept him up just in time to prevent a chaotic parking lot scene…it’s good to be kept on one’s toes at all hours of the day, and let’s face it–I like to keep things interesting.

-While checking out at Staples today, I turned to my right to see a middle-aged woman walking down the aisle wearing sweatpants with the word “PINK” printed in obnoxiously large letters across the behind. I’ve always thought these made good pajama or “around the house” type pants, but I’m not a terribly big fan of words printed like a bulletin board across someone’s bottom. Perhaps I’m too conservative or traditional. Still, if they look kind of tacky on a fifteen year old, then they don’t look better on someone pushing fifty. I’m just saying. These, tucked into cheetah print winter boots, made for a winning combination in the computer accessories aisle. I thought maybe Stacy and Cliton from What Not to Wear were lurking around the corner somewhere, but sadly, they were nowhere to be found. Is it just me? Or do we think we could retire the whole “PINK” across the tush in public trend before my daughter wants to wear it or my son wants to ogle it? I digress…

-In the next day or two, I’m going to attempt a mock-up of a necklace that I couldn’t help but fawn over on a favorite fashion website. Imagine my delight, when at lunch today I found all of the supplies I’ll need to craft my own–for less than a third of the price of the original! Not only do I have a great little project waiting for me now, but also the satisfaction of saving precious dollars and still getting to wear a fun new accessory. If it turns out the way I hope it will, I’ll post pics of the final product sometime soon.

-On a quick trip home to let the dog out between work and a meeting late this afternoon, I drove past a man building multiple snow-creatures in his yard. I don’t know why this delighted me so much, but I think I was grinning ear to ear at the sight. There’s something about the fact that he seemed so content with himself and what he was doing, even if the snow IS melting at a brilliant pace in this unseasonably amazing weather. It gave cause for me to stop reflect on the way that childlike joy knows no bounds when given the opportunity to flourish (and by this, I mean in a building-snowmen-by-oneself-at-the-age-of-fifty-something kind of way, and not so much a go-ahead-and-buy-the-attention-grabbing-sweatpants-despite-your-age kind of way). It was a highlight for sure. Made me want to build a snow-person myself. Seriously.

Oh, and did I mention that we met with a doula today and are highly considering the possibility for Baby K’s arrival? More on that in future posts, I’m sure! And one last thing…

…our family/belly pics arrived in the mail from the photographer yesterday, and I definitely have a few favorites. I promise to share them this week at some point, and possibly even tomorrow if time permits 🙂 I love this little baby and the belly it’s forming and the family it’s joining. Great things for an otherwise random day, no?

One last, last thing. Promise. We put our new bed frame together tonight, and I’m excited to give it a whirl. Points to IKEA for making it super-easy to assemble and exactly the kind of thing we were looking for to dress up the head and foot of our recently relocated bed.

chandelier. robin. postcard. constellation. because random words seem an appropriate end to such a random post.

January 19, 2011 by mollymadonna

countdown worthy.

280 days. That’s where it all began, with 280 days we thought would just be average. And now? Today marks 101 days ’til Baby K is scheduled to make an appearance–179 days into the gig and winding down to double digits in a mere 26ish hours. Crazy how time flies? I think so.

Like other monumental things in life: your wedding day, graduation, moving day, the start of a new job, that dream vacation, this feels utterly and completely worthy of a countdown. (You’ve probably noticed the little ticker in my sidebar by now:) And why not? When the anticipation of something is SO great, counting down the days (or sleeps) gives us the opportunity to feel like active participants in the process while we’re waiting.

Yesterday, I was pondering the 102 days we had to go and decided to put myself up to a little challenge. Of all of the seasons in my life thus far, this is certainly one of them I want to capture well. As such, I’m committing to these last 100 days of pregnancy with a blog post–one for each day until the little one gets here. Now, a little fine print. Baby might not quite be here in 100 days, or he or she might come a little early. I’d like to go so far as to think I can blog in labor, but only time will tell. And every post might have some aspect of baby woven into it, but I’d also like to think I’ll have more to say about other things between now and then, too. Soooooo, here’s the deal. 100 days give or take (starting tomorrow), and 100 posts. Think I can do it? Will you help me?

If you love something here in the next 100 days, I’d love to know about it. And if you’d like to hear about a specific topic, please make me aware of that as well. Critiques? Go for it. Yep, I’m more emotionally charged as of late, but I’d like to consider this time as a fine-tuning, honing-in and defining sort of season for good old mollymadonna.com, and I’d love your help. Please be honest.

K. Here’s to this next challenge, and hopefully, to a great adventure in writing and blogging. More tomorrow, because I promised…

For today: find the thing in your life at this moment that deserves a countdown–even if it’s an upcoming date night or your favorite author’s next release. And let me know what you’re counting down to. We’ll do this together!

10o more to go 🙂

January 11, 2011 by mollymadonna

belly business.

There’s something about walking around with a pregnant belly that seems to say to the world, “I’m fair game. Have at it.” Or at least, this has been my experience over the past number of weeks. There are so many things that I absolutely LOVE about being pregnant (and so many things I’ve been celebrating in this baby-growing season), but to be honest, the phenomena of frequent unsolicited commenting and belly-rubbing are not two of them.

From the moment we announced our joyful news, wisdom, advice and the opinions of others have become daily interjections in my pregnant life. And I mean it when I say that we have been blessed by many, many women and parents who have showered us with great stories, encouragement, love, understanding, prayers and the like as we’ve begun the journey. We are incredibly grateful for all of the love that we are receiving as a family, and the love that we know Baby K will meet when he or she joins us in 15+ short weeks. But there have been so many others…some we know, and some we’ve never met ’til now, who have seemed far too delighted to share their horror stories, their woes, the worrisome negatives and countless discouragements–just as soon as they’ve spotted my belly for the first time.

I can’t seem to figure this out. As first time parents we have plenty of concerns of our own, but we’re mostly just so excited about this new development that we always consider it a blessing and a very good thing. I’m actually not sure how it could be a bad thing, and I can’t reconcile why anyone else would want to harbor on the negative possibilities when we’ve not invited them in. On a good day, I just feel badly that the downside to babies and parenting are the focus for more people than I might have expected. On a bad/tired/emotional/hormonal day, I kind of just want to kick the person contributing such drudgery to my otherwise delightedly pregnant world. And who can blame me?

If you’re reading this, and you’ve touched my belly because I’ve welcomed it, or because you’ve asked, or because the baby is kicking and I just really want someone else to feel how tangible it is in the moment, then please, avert your eyes to this paragraph. But honestly, I can’t for the life of me imagine walking up to someone who wasn’t pregnant and caressing–yes, caressing, their stomach out of the blue. So why is it OK for the perfect stranger or for someone I hardly know to do it to me? And when did a baby in my belly become the universal indicator for “Please make this moment awkward and keep doing that while you’re talking to me and I’m still trying to figure out who you are and what is happening!?” I could spend all day introducing Baby K to people I know and love with a little bump here and a little kick there. I just can’t feel good about introducing myself at the same time. Hello world. This is me. My name is Molly and I’m expecting. Oh, and did I mention your hand is on my belly? Whoa.

One last thing, and I promise I’m through for the night. Then you can either pretend to forget you read this, or you can decide I’m a little crazy, or you can love me for being vulnerable. And I’m totally OK with wherever you land. Get ready for it though, because it seems like this one has been a major point of contention. Jason and I are not finding out the gender of our little baby. Gasp. I know. It’s very 1950’s of us. I don’t mind the teasing about it, and I don’t even mind the fun guessing and speculation that we’re all predisposed as humans to do. Heck, I wonder what this little kid is every single day! But if you insist on insisting that it’s one or the other, and especially if you’ll delight yourself in reminding me that you were absolutely right when the babe is in fact “A boy!” or “A girl!”, please feel free to do so quietly. As much as I also like to wonder whether the peanut will look better in pink or blue, I really, really love the element of surprise. And no one knows what’s coming on May 1st (not even the ultrasound tech), so we’re all only truly safe with the guess that “It’s a BABY!” It is. We promise. And we’ll let the rest of the world know just as soon as we do. If Baby K lives in green or brown or yellow or orange for a little while as a newborn, I vow to make up for lost time with gender-appropriate colors later. (And it’s possible we’ll have some pink and blue waiting in the wings, because making returns is easy these days and why not?)

I realize that this probably sounds all grumpy and edgy, and a little more raw than you’re probably used to reading from me, but it had to come out. If you have stories or wisdom or memories or advice to share with us and it’s positive, we graciously welcome it, and we thank you in advance. By the same token, my belly is still my belly, whether round or flat, full of baby or just innocuously me. And our baby is definitely going to be one or the other, boy or girl. We’re certain we’re going to love it to pieces either way. So please-oh-please-oh-please I beg of you, for the benefit of every expecting parent and belly I know, love us gently. It means the world when you do, and it makes the business of being pregnant oh-so-much more fun to share in the process.

joyfully (and I really mean it!) filling up with baby,

January 4, 2011 by mollymadonna

wicked.

Some days are simply red letter, and this past Friday was no exception. In lieu of wrapped Christmas gifts this year, Jason and I decided to give each other a night out on the town for New Year’s Eve. We were already planning to be in the Chicago vicinity to visit family for post-Christmas Christmas, so we planned an evening set aside for just us. We thought it appropriate to wind down an oh-so-eventful 2010 together, while soaking in the last NYE we’ll celebrate without little ones in the mix for a long time. The recipe?

–A night at The Wit, in one of their fabulously appointed rooms with an awesome view of State Street.