January 4, 2011 by mollymadonna

10 for ’10.

I realize that we’re already three (maybe 4 when this posts) days into the new year, but I’d feel remiss not to at least pay homage to the 365 days that made up the whirlwind that was 2010. Like most writers are wont to do around January 1st, I’m going to do my best to mix it up a little bit around here in the days to come, and to commit to more writing simply because it’s what I love to do. To begin…ten things I loved about 2010 (in chronological order):

1. On Jan. 1st, 2010, I received an email that would eventually change my worldview, again. It was an invitation to India, and 23 days later, I was on an airplane. Along with 10 others, I spent 12 days traveling to Vijayawada, Hyderabad and Mumbai, witnessed God changing lives right in front of me, and experienced the power of worship in beautiful new ways. I’ll never forget it.

2. Upon my return from India, Jason and I spent a weekend away at Family Life’s Weekend to Remember. We stayed at one of our favorite hotels, spent the weekend focused on our marriage and the things that God is doing in our lives as a couple, and renewed our commitments to each other as husband and wife. I was so grateful for this focused time away, and it was a great opportunity for us to love better than we have before. I really do love being a wife, and I’m really blessed by Jason.

3. In March, we celebrated 3 years of being married. It seems like time is flying by, as we now round the corner on #4. We have been so blessed, in good times and in hard ones, and we’ve learned a lot about God, ourselves, and each other.

4. April provided an opportunity for me to study to become a doula/birth assistant in Ann Arbor, and to continue a journey that began during our time in Africa. I loved soaking up all of the information I learned through DONA’s training, and I’ve loved the process ever since.

5. In May, I witnessed my first birth–the precious babe of a dear, dear friend. It was so humbling to watch another human being take her first breath, and to be included in this miraculous process was an incredible gift. I was fortunate enough to count two more births in the summer months, and babies two and three were also amazing and life changing, each in their own ways.

6. I turned 28. Yep, 28. A year so full of wonder that I could hardly have anticipated then–and I still have 5 months to go!

7. We found out we’re going to be parents. To a little baby:) I found out on August 29th, and waited to tell Jason until the following day. Then, we kept it to ourselves for a while to soak it in before sharing the news with family a few weeks later. Keeping the secret was blissful and torturous at the same time. It was wonderful to have the tiny little miracle all to ourselves, but it’s been such great fun to share in the joy with others since.

8. We traveled to D.C. A last minute getaway over Labor Day weekend, J and I escaped to the capitol city for some much needed R & R. We walked a gagillion miles, admired art, took funny photos, ate our fill of great food, wandered shops and learned what I was going to feel like in my first trimester. Looking back, I’m so grateful that this trip timed itself as it did. Loved every minute!

9. We saw Baby K for the first time. And the second. At nine weeks we got to take a little peek, and at the time, our first born was the size of a peanut in its shell. He or she appropriately adopted the moniker “peanut,” and we’ve been smitten ever since. At 19 weeks, we saw the kiddo in full force. Hands and feet, fingers and toes, chambers of a beating heart, brain, kidneys, umbilical cord and looooong legs (nope, definitely not mine:). My favorite parts to ogle now are the teeny tiny nose we have on film and the little chin that goes with it. I am so in love I can hardly stand it. 16.5ish weeks until we snuggle the little babe!

10. New Year’s Eve. Period. One of my VERY favorite days of 2010. I’ll detail more of this later, but it was completely red letter and sooooo necessary. How could we go wrong in downtown Chicago with a great hotel and view, yummy dinner, tickets to WICKED, shopping at Macy’s and a balloon drop at midnight? What a way to ring in a new year!

All in all, it’s far easier to remember the good in the year than anything that might have been less than great. This list could surely go on, but to me, it’s at least a great snapshot. And I didn’t want to forget. Nope, not at all.

Here’s to another year with more joyful memories in the making. Oh, what a delight it will be to watch it all unfold!

refreshed,

December 25, 2010 by mollymadonna

merry christmas. love, the kehrers.

2010 marks the first year that we stayed home for Christmas in its entirety. We’ve both been away for two Christmases before, but there were thousands of miles between us and our families then, and being just on the other side of the lake and still not “home for the holidays” feels very different. Still, in our own way, we’ve celebrated Christmas together in our little house this year. We’ve pondered what next year will be like, and how very different the holidays will feel with a little one in our midst. We’ve been grateful, reflective, restful. We’ve missed people we love, and loved people we miss, and we’ll probably always look back on this particular holiday as “the one that felt quiet and calm.” (In moments, I think we’d agree it feels almost too calm, but we’re certain that a baby will change all of that 🙂

And a baby did. 2,010 years ago. It feels good to celebrate Christ with intention, no matter how the schedule looks, what we’re having for dinner, or who we’re having it with. And it feels personal to be here in this house on our last quiet Christmas as “just us.” As much as I have longed for the busyness of family and food and presents in the silent spaces of the day, I’m also grateful for rest and good food and the company of my husband as we soak in what the upcoming year will bring.

Tonight, we wish you all of the most delightful parts of Christmas–along with the peace that comes in embracing Christ and His presence in our lives at this time of year. We pray that you have had your fill–of food, of gifts and gift-giving, and most significantly, of a sense of place and belonging in and amongst the bustle of the holidays.

From our home to yours this evening…

oh, Christmas tree!

oh, Christmas tree 🙂

i love the house at Christmastime!

nativity. the very best part.

stockings! (and one for baby k, just for kicks:)

joy!

wintry dining room table.

thanks to the timer...family photo!

baby k at christmas. 22 weeks!

kruger, caught in the act. merry christmas, fella.

grace and peace, always.

mm, jmk, baby k and kruger 🙂

December 6, 2010 by mollymadonna

winter-full.

The first post of December. Out the window, everything is covered–even buried, in white. The Christmas tree is lighting up the room, my cup of tea is still half full, and there is a baby dancing in my belly.

Tonight, I am considering the new, warm boots that kept my feet dry in knee high snow drifts…the way that others served me all day by wiping off, warming up and shoveling out my car…the compassion God gives us in moments when we desperately need to exhibit love and grace…the lyrics to the music sung tonight in a room filled with joy and good news.

Good news. Tomorrow, we will go to see our sweet little growing baby. By now, he or she is no longer the peanut-shaped, inch-long start of tiny person; instead, arms and legs that move and sense and respond, eyes and ears and fingers and toes that we will get a glimpse of, a miniature nose and a shape that will soon be the face we fall in love with over and over again.

I am already in love.

It’s coming on Christmas, and this year, I am smitten with the season. Delighted by the changes, welcoming the piles of snow. I know that amongst them, life will continue to take form within–almost as if Winter and Spring are one in the same for me this time around. There is so much hope under the gray and slush and fluff.

On Sunday, a friend said that she thinks there’s something particularly special about carrying a baby during at Christmastime. I think of Mary and Joseph, a stable and a baby boy…Away in a manger, no crib for a bed, the little Lord Jesus lay down His sweet head…the stars in the sky looked down where He lay…the little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay…

There is so much anticipation in the coming of a baby, and the celebration of the coming of Christ Jesus in the form of a babe makes it tangible, monumental, full. I have always loved Christmas, but it’s true that this year, the season has a different kind of glow about it. The lights on the tree twinkle like stars, three stockings hang with intention, and we wait, with joyful hearts in expectation, for the good news of babies being born.

off to dance with the babe,

November 30, 2010 by mollymadonna

home in a little blue house.

Whenever we travel home to Chicago, I’m always grateful for time with family and the chance to catch up on the weeks or months that have taken place in between our last visit and the one we’re sharing over the latest holiday. I’m also always grateful to come home, and to settle back into life in our little house in this little town.

I like it here, and I like the world we’ve created around us.

I think I used to be somehow afraid to make my own life, hours away from family and where we grew up–and close, only to things that are new to our lives since becoming adults and coming into our own selves. There are pieces of family and home that were once hard to say goodbye to, even if we knew we’d revisit them and go back to where all of the memories from childhood had their day. Nowadays, the people are still hard to say goodbye to when we go. But the places (and sometimes the spaces) grow less and less difficult to leave. When we come home, I’ve missed our bed, the toilet that runs through the night, our bookshelves brimming with titles, and the quirkiness of an 80 year old house. I like watching Kruger run around comfortably because he knows each room and corner and smell. I like it when we’re all tucked in and curled up for the night where we belong.

It feels like there’s been a lot of heartache at home (amongst family) as of late–job loss and illness, strained relationships, economic hardship, life slipping away. My inclination as a person is to want to fix it all and to make everything as good as new. If I could, I’d carry a magic wand around with me and wave off difficult circumstances. I’d pray away all of the complications and worries that have piled up around people we love. Going home makes all of these challenges very fresh again, and coming home from them, I’m left feeling as if wounds have been opened up anew in my heart. It’s been hard to learn that I can’t make everything right, and that no matter how hard I may be inclined to try, it’s not always my job.

Coming home after a holiday weekend suddenly makes the new life we’ve created very tangible to me again. It outlines and highlights the things I’m responsible for, the items I’m called to make a priority, the role I’ve been given to play. And even as I struggle to leave other things simply to prayer and compassion and love, I recognize that I have primary responsibilities as a wife and a mother where they didn’t once use to be. I’m thankful for this. I’m grateful for a few things that I know have to be a priority before the rest. It isn’t that I want to put anything aside, or that I love anyone less than I’ve ever loved them before, but there’s freedom in being able to define what has to come first.

It’s amazing how God is already using this little baby (who I now feel and SEE kicking and moving in my belly on a daily basis!), to teach me things about family and priorities and home. When I carry the burden and weight of too many other things, I’m now responsible for what toll it might take on my body, and consequently, what toll that might take on our unborn child. More than that, I’m also responsible for what toll it might take on our marriage. Priorities. Clarity. Definition.

I have been so blessed with family, for many years, from many angles. But now there’s one family that comes absolutely first, without exception. And it lives in my house. Our house. In a little town where we’ve created and are busy creating home. My heart will always stretch across the big lake on over to the other side, but it has to be here first. I would expect to be called to nothing less. So this, tonight, is me handing everything else over to God again and asking Him to take the heartache and burden and pain and to carry it. I just can’t do it on my own, and it’s harrowing to try. This is me setting down my worry in the best way I know how, and putting it to bed with the day. It will be there tomorrow, I know, but maybe it will be there in a little bit lighter form. Meanwhile, I have baby to nourish and a husband to care for and a family to nurture. There is life in this place. May it grow, and grow, and grow.

for the joy of the Lord,

November 22, 2010 by mollymadonna

jingle all the way.

The holidays have arrived, and with them, all sorts of merriment and gratitude and cheer. I haven’t introduced Baby K to Christmas music just yet, but we did partake in lovely Thanksgiving and Christmas festivities last night and this evening. I find such great joy in celebrating thankfulness and the birth of sweet baby Jesus. 33 days until Christmas…I sure hope they don’t pass us by too quickly.

Tonight, I’m grateful for accepting friends and loving family. And for God’s provision on so many levels. And most of all this year, for Baby and all that he or she will bring to our lives.

For your viewing pleasure, a little pictage of the past two days in all of their warmth and delightfulness: