MollyMadonna.com

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on the run

Today was the perfect day for a run. Sunny and warm, with a cool breeze to bring the temperature down a few degrees. I love running in the summer. What’s more, I love what running does to me–and for me. Having a bad day? A run will change that. Needing to wake up? A jog can help. Looking forward to a guilt-free dinner out? Thank you very much, little 5-miler.

My favorite side-effect of a run? Of course I love getting a good workout and breaking a sweat, but I run because of what it does for my mind. Once I’m a mile down the road, everything I left at home or work or in my last phone conversation has melted away. It’s almost as if any negative pieces of life are chipping off like paint flakes, revealing a fresh, vulnerable side of me that feels open and willing and hopeful for what’s next. I love the challenge of a race in the distance, the mental and physical preparation and the diligence and perseverance I know it will take to get there. I’m intrigued by the commitment to myself and my body. Medals and certificates feel good, not wholly because of the race, but because of the hundreds of miles I have to push through to finish that race well.

My mind clears itself on a long run. Eventually, the music on my iPod–or the silence without it–patterns my step. When the beat picks up, I alter my pace. When the song is slow and reflective, my spirit goes with it. I pray. I pound out the parts of life I don’t feel like I can handle. I laugh to myself, or cry to myself, or soak in my surroundings and marvel at the Creator who made every plant, leaf, tree, bird, flower…the muscles in my legs, the air in my lungs. I feel alive.

And I love the salty, warm, breathy feeling of arriving home, clocking my pace, getting in a good stretch. I love the winding down moments, as I gradually make my way down the sidewalk, up the driveway. I love the cold glass of water and the way the Kruger wags his tail when I get back. There’s not a whole lot else I can do in an hour that makes me feel exactly this way–perhaps there’s nothing else. Running has added so much to my life, to who I am, to who I aspire to be. I’m grateful for every, single step.

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went digging for poetry, and this is what i found.

i took an amazing poetry class in college. twice, in fact, because it was so good. and now that i’ve dusted off my writing wheels and have them spinning again, i suddenly miss the poetry that used to find its way into my life. i’m sure there’s plenty of it lurking close by, even now. i think i was just more careful, just took more time to find it then.

on a whim tonight, i decided to resurrect the old chapbooks (“reconciling panes” and “alterations”) i completed as a final project–one for each semester of that defining class. unsure of where to find my poetic voice in this time and place, i thought i might just recycle old words in a new way. tucked into aging poems, i found the following; mixed it up and am starting over with this:

reconciling alterations

the light on in the kitchen
burns yellow,
swings left right,
settles over this table for two.
in these pictures
i do not look like myself
and we sit here,
gently
as if to say
a hundred things at once
without a word.
in all of this silence i take you in–
voice i will always remember
telling and retelling
about the little girl
with long brown hair who
danced, planted marigolds.

years later they are orange and golden.
yellow satin breathing and blushing,
filling up with color, new
like a slow motion flip book.
passion soaked up like sunlight,
two-part harmony songs for
this spirit with lungs still
learning to inhale your love,
exhale my own.
and i am not the same.

before traveling here i packed
pen and paper,
recorded history of
wrongdoings,
inspirations,
broken heart.
could forget your adjustable lens
and
how your hand passes over each frame,
whispering approval.

but here you reassemble every idea
i have ever understood about love,
and tonight,
grace, green with life, leaves
the smell of sweet on my fingers.
you pen your history in lines made permanent,
carefully crafted letters
of age-old penmanship
beyond the wooden cross hanging,
the tabernacle wine and bread.
cradle hope in dance steps to erase my scars.
each morning,
a different kind of worship.

a found poem. poetry out of poetry. old thoughts, remixed. exactly how i’m feeling today. and it feels so good to have “found” it.

poetry love,

mm

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what is so rare as a day in june…

…then if ever come perfect days….

My grandmother wrote me a letter the day that I was born, and it began just as above. Grandmothers always know just what to say…

As I turned 28 this week, I couldn’t help but reflect on the beauty that is life–and not just life, but my life. I am surrounded by the loveliest of things. This birthday was blessed on many levels, but one of the prettiest things about the day was a birthday bouquet from Jason. I snapped a few photos of it to capture the blossoms at their peak…then got camera happy around the house and yard this weekend so as to capture all of the lovelies that are blooming around me this June. What a visual feast! Enjoy…

birthday blossoms

gerbera daisies from jason

brightening up the side yard--they hardly look real!

zebra bearded iris (new addition to the front yard)

hanging basket on the front porch--saw a hummingbird feeding here the other day!

pretty in pink...red, orange and yellow

love these--they spread so nicely into round bunches by mid-summer

dahlias are welcome anytime

...and these

...and these

these are growing so fast!

farmers market purchase today...for planting

cobwebs. they'll look lovely in the patio edging

more from the market. love.

geraniums remind me of my gramma. good to have them brightening up the back entryway 🙂

Isn’t Spring inspiring?!?!

mm

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one last look at twenty seven

I spent today being 27 for the very last time (which is to say, in my most dramatic attempt, that tomorrow, I’ll be 28). I’m not sure what to think about that number just yet, but I am all for the newness of things–the fresh start/new leaf/clean page feeling that comes with celebrating a birthday. I’m quite optimistic about what my 29th year might hold (and if you know me, you know I LOVE even numbers, so “being” 28 is quite pleasing to my little mind).

My 28th year had its fair share of ups and downs, as most years are wont to do. And as I bid it farewell on many accounts, I think it prudent to recall some of the highlights that have folded themselves into the past 365 days. No need to harbor on hard things to be sure, but rather to learn and grow and be shaped from them. So here’s to being shaped, and to the following:

-A healthy year. Nothing but a few minor colds and allergies to make me sneeze-y on occasion. For this, I’m VERY grateful.

-A successful summer of training, two half marathons, a 5k, a 10k and personal records on three out of four!

-Trips to visit friends and strangers. California was lovely in the Fall. India changed my world forever. (India deserves so much more than a one-liner here. More later, I promise)

-Sister time in Kansas City and another sisterly visit over Easter. Long chats, funny photos, shopping, walks, crafts, great food, prayer. Just what sister time should be made of!

-Holidays with family. As a kid, I always thought this was a given, but after a few years away from home, being “home for the holidays” is just that much more splendid

-A growing pup. Kruger was 4 months old on my last birthday. Now he’s well past a year and a whopping 85 pounds of black lab puppy love (and trouble:)

-A changing home. We’ve done so much in and around the house in the past year. Progress seems slow when it comes in spurts, but so much has changed–from paint on walls to new memories in frames to a completely new front yard

-A new job. I feel like I’ve gained an entire education in marketing in my role as a consultant, and now, I’m learning new things again as a marketing director in an entirely different field

-Doula training. Near the end of my litany, but not the least bit insignificant. God made a place in my heart for this journey when we were living in Africa, and now I’m amazed to watch it come to fruition. I cannot wait to support and bless mommies/babies/families in love and ministry for years to come

-Witnessing a live birth for the first time–ever. And my goodness, was it a red letter day! I will never forget seeing that sweet little face and those stretched out little toes as they entered the world. I owe her mommy and daddy a world of thanks. She’ll always be incredibly special in my heart!

-Learning to love in new ways. Learning to accept in new ways. Learning to be more patient, forgiving, gracious, joyful, peaceful, grateful, passionate, determined, surrendered, delighted, open, vulnerable, willing, prayerful, serving, wise, discerning, restrained, empowered, life-filled than I was at 24, 25, 26…

-Most importantly…being stretched and molded, challenged and frustrated, loved and forgiven, adored and accepted, blessed and protected, guided and sought-after, uplifted and joy-filled, made worshipful and more sanctified by a most Holy and unconditional Creator. After this year, our God is more marvelous to me than ever before, and I have more trust and faith and hope in Him than I ever knew possible. Amazing!

27 wasn’t always one of my favorite years. But I don’t think I’ll look back on it, or on the list above, and ever regret the growth that has occurred in and around me over the past 12 months. Tomorrow, I’ll be 28. Tomorrow, I’ll turn over another new leaf and mark another year gone by. I’m so glad it counted for something–and more than just something. I couldn’t be more blessed to look forward to another day!

Here’s to 28 and all that will fall within its pages,

mm

filled with awe and wonder at the beauty of life, in my 28th year, age 27 🙂

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coffee for thought

I ordered an Italian cappuccino from my favorite coffee shop (JP’s, Holland, MI) tonight, and when I looked into the cup, this blog entry appeared. Honestly. It was thought provoking to order a simple cappuccino and to receive this:

excellence, espresso style

Perhaps you’re curious; here’s what’s on my mind…

To some people, coffee is coffee. Less than that, coffee is a means to an end, a jolt of caffeine or a way to make it through the morning. To someone like Nick, who skillfully poured my cup tonight, coffee isn’t just a bean or liquid energy–it’s something he’s passionate about. It’s not the only thing, of course, but one of many things that matters enough to him to give it time and effort.

This got me thinking.

I love excellence. What’s more than that, I love surrounding myself with people who are passionately pursuing whatever it is that moves them, drives them forward. I love experiencing the pursuit of excellence by being in its path, whether purposefully, or inadvertently. I love what it does to encourage my own desire for excellence in the things I’m passionate about. Where am I finding passion in others lately?

In my closest friend as she nurtures and cares for a newborn and a two and a half year old. She is amazing. Beyond amazing…In my running partner, who just completed her first 25k, and who I find faithfully rounding the corner several mornings a week to meet me…In my sister, who is ever pushing towards the highest level of Truth she can discover, and who has never underestimated the value of personal connection, via snail mail, a phone call, or an encouraging visit…In my boss, who has established and run a debt free physical therapy practice for the past four years, and who is taking giant leaps to make it grow and grow well…in my friends and family who are missionaries, parents, business owners, athletes, pastors, artists, world changers…the list goes on.

So what am I passionate about as of late? What am I pursuing or aspiring to pursue with excellence?

-being a better wife, daughter, sister, friend, confidant, mentor, and neighbor than I’ve ever been before

-having more faith, chasing after God and sharing more of that piece of me with others

-becoming a doula (birth assistant) by completing my certification this year (then being a nurturing, attentive, compassionate doula to my clients)

-making time for the things that are most important (prioritizing, and being both more and less selfish with my time)

-writing/blogging/editing/creating/capturing moments

-training (running) for the sake of being healthy, consistent, clear-headed, driven and focused

-learning new skills and becoming an expert at those that can add life to the people around me

Whew. Who knew that a $2.30 cup of coffee (and a little time spent to make it lovely) could be so valuable? Is it possible that my own pursuit of excellence in things I do could be just as contagious?

Coffee for thought.