I feel like a spinning top tonight–one that’s winding down to a slow spiral before it tips one direction or the other. Everything about this pregnancy and my experience in the midst of it has been nearly textbook so far, and I’m grateful. But I’m not so ready to enter my last trimester this week and for a new level of exhaustion to come with it.
Sometimes I like to think that I can go at warp speed, and so I do for a while. We all have our limits, and I know that, too, but for the most part, I can feel mine coming and I know when to slow things down. Maybe this baby has been growing especially fast this week, or maybe it’s all of the changes and plans and thinking I’ve been busy with, and it’s piling up. Either way, I’m coming to the end of this day unwound. I’m overwhelmingly tired. Life caught up with me.
I’m not entirely accustomed to just being so candid–or to realizing that I’m worn down enough that it’s the most honest thing I could write about on a given evening, but tonight I just…am.
So this post will be brief, and not terribly insightful. Perhaps not a highlight in the 100 day challenge. Someday though, when the little one reads through “Mom’s old blogs” and finds this here, I hope that he or she sees that it’s ok to just be real–to have run out of momentum for a little while. I hope our kids let their hair down, and that they come across this in a moment when it actually frees them from something (or things) they’ve needed to let go.
I’m letting the day go, and with it, the pretense that I need to get more done or find more time. I’m anxious for bed and rest, and for a new day in the morning.
Goodnight baby. Goodnight moon. Goodnight cow jumping over the moon,