There are just some days when love and God’s very abundant presence in my life are so apparent, and today is one of them. I woke up this morning with a few things heavy on my heart, and as I got ready, I realized that they were owning every thought and creating undue stress in a day that was only just beginning. Maybe it sounds silly, but I’m “stressed” about stress these days. Not as in, “Oh, no! I’m completely stressed out at the idea of being stressed!” but more in a “there’s a growing, impressionable life inside of me and he or she doesn’t deserve this stress” kind of way. For the most part, I think this recognition has been healthy–and on a day like today, I was thankful for the very obvious belly/reminder in the mirror that I needed to reduce my stress level (and fast).
Late last summer, I posted a verse on the glass door of our bathroom cabinet as a daily reminder. It reads, “…The Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth. He never grows weak or weary. No one can measure the depths of his understanding…Those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.” (Isaiah 40.28, 31) This morning, when I realized that I was completely consumed with stressful thoughts, I looked over at the verse and read it to refresh my memory of the above truth. Then, I prayed that God would give me the ability to let the worry go and to fully trust in Him for resolution and guidance regarding the burden I was carrying. And I went about my day.
By 8:00am, I had already seen God show up in ways that were clearly an answer to my prayer. I felt joyful and not clouded, conversational and not withdrawn. I felt total peace when I sensed the need to handle a related situation in a certain way, and a weight was lifted with the opportunity to simply obey and listen, instead of doing what my human thought process would have otherwise encouraged me to do. I felt the sudden ability to trust God with the details again–a lesson that I continue to have to learn, over and over and over. And He continued to show up in so many ways.
By lunchtime, I was filled with energy and zeal for the day. I was blessed to have numerous positive interactions with others that were not only uplifting, but affirming in the way that God had heard (and was attending to) my early morning cry for help. Things felt intentional, purposeful and life-giving–the complete opposite of how I had been feeling hours before. And by tonight, I was so aware of God’s love for me, for us, for this baby that I could hardly stop smiling from ear to ear. There is joy in trusting the Lord!
There’s so much more to share about this day, but for now, I’m just resting in the fact that when we feel small, we are still serving a gigantic God who is attentive and doting and loving in ways that we might not even see. We are being heard and cared for in ways we can’t anticipate, and we have an obligation as Christ followers to trust and believe that God has a level of understanding that we will never be able to measure–not even close.
I am so blessed by the past 18 hours, and so relieved by the shift in my spirit that took place because God cares that much for me. Not only did he bless me by being so apparent, but he did so doubly, by using a number of the beautiful people in my life to do so. I am, once again, humbled and grateful and headed to bed tonight with a renewed sense of being able to run and not grow weary…to walk and not faint.