1 : a small rotating windstorm of limited extent
2 a : a confused rush : whirl <a whirlwind of meetings> b : a violent or destructive force or agency
I am effectively feeling the impacts of both 1 and 2a this week, and thankfully, cannot yet claim familiarity with 2b. And I’ve determined that I don’t so much feel caught up in a whirlwind at the current moment, but more that I am experiencing the aftermath of several days of whirlwind-like activity. Whirlwinded. Just the thing to cause me to desire extra amounts of sleep and to require copious amounts of grace. Perhaps you can relate.
So why all of this “whirlwinded” conversation, you might wonder? In a nutshell, the series of events over the past 5 days…
-boarded the dog, packed a suitcase and traveled home to chicago for mom’s wedding weekend
-arrived in chicago, got settled in at mom-in-law’s, stayed up late(ish), fell into bed after a long week
-rec’d a phone call that grandma kehrer had been taken to the emergency room. spent the afternoon hoping and praying and getting to know ER staff before she was returned via ambulance (Jason in tow) to her care facility
-ran wedding errands, met up with mom, took grandma donna to dinner for her 80th birthday, more errands, then home to help with packaging individual cakes, arranging a bouquet, finishing a wedding day outfit (for the bride) and managing family dynamics. went to bed at 5:30am and woke up at 6am for the big day
-mom to the church for her 9:30am ceremony. flat tire on the way. forgot the bouquet. arrived at 9:20. sorted out details and played wedding coordinator for a little while. ceremony went off without a hitch. photos. church service. second flat tire (our car this time, not mom’s). tire fixed. lunch with a friend. second bouquet pick-up. reception and fireworks (fell asleep to these. i MUST have been tired!)
-home to mom-in-law’s. sleep. woke up to meet dad and sister for coffee. errands. bought a loveseat. in chicago. (still working on that one.) packing up. home to holland. late night sorting things out. four hour night’s sleep.
-phone call at 6am. busy work day. friend in labor three weeks early. with laboring mom from 3pm until 7am this morning. took a nap somewhere between 3am and 3:30am. beautiful baby boy and everyone is healthy and doing well. home. sleep. work from home in the afternoon. dinner.
Present. Whew. I’m whirlwinded just writing it all down. But honestly, I needed to do that. Just needed to put it all on paper (even in shorthand) to plot out the last 5 days and sort them, even a tiny bit, in my head. I’m short on sleep, patience, coordination, but filled up with joy, family, love. The miracle of birth. The fact that I’m becoming a doula and ALL OF THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING. The joy on mom’s face on Sunday. Celebrating a friend’s engagement over lunch and admiring her amazing, history-filled ring in person, even though we’re usually hundreds of miles apart. The fact that I did not have to change a tire in a little black dress and heels, but that a total stranger did it for me. The idea that I’ll go to bed tonight and wake up tomorrow and everything will still be real, and I’ll still be able to feel it.
Life is crazy right now. Seriously, it feels completely chaotic. But the beauty in that is the fact that I’m very much alive and processing it all. A lot has changed in the past 5 days, and some things have stayed the same. Who am I for all of these experiences and memories? I’ll likely be working on figuring that out for a long time. And as I settle down from all of this whirlwindedness, contemplating the how’s and why’s and unpacking everything as I am so inclined to do, I know I’ll continue to find moments of growth, stretching, learning, significance and faith all intertwined. For the moment, I’m just going to turn it all over slowly, like something both bitter and sweet as I taste it all mixed together for the first time.
Whirlwinded. A lingering of pieces which, like the path of a storm, leave behind marked areas of change and unfamiliarity but promise opportunities of refreshment, new growth and greater understanding when they have come to pass.
A few photos from some of the less “whirlwinded” moments of the past several days…
Sara says
Congrats to your mom! And from one whirlwinded friend to another. I can completely empathize. The life of the NICU intern is very much a whirlwhind every day. I miss you and hope you are doing well!